Child given melatonin without our consent

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

@WannaBeRecluse

He was really tired anyway. They gave it to all the kids and he was the first one asleep. But they had all had it before and he hadn't ever.

This whole thread is just one huge cultural misunderstanding. Definitely a question for a US audience, OP!

In the US it's no different to them giving your child a chewy multivitamin. Might not be a great idea and she should probably have checked, but pretty low key and not something to get upset about. Next time just say 'Hey I'd rather he didn't have any melatonin please'.

Shocking thing for the other mother to do. She was way out of line, and I would contact all of the other parents to be sure they knew. And you could take your child to the doctor so you have a record of this.

Calling the police, I would, yes, they may go over to have a stern talk with her and what is and isn't appropriate.

Full disclosure, I haven't read all the replies. I see you are overseas.. I bought melatonin overseas for my child before they were legally prescribed it by a psychiatrist due to having autism. Melatonin is a synthetic supplement, rather than a sleeping pill. The reason it became prescription only in the UK and EU, is because there isn't enough long term research on the long term usage, and some studies have shown a link between delayed puberty and melatonin usage. I continued to buy melatonin when overseas, because they are fast release rather than slow that is prescribed here in the UK, but stopped when I read that the market is so unregulated that many low mg gummies have been found to contain very high doses. A child's gummy is no lower than an adult tablet usually anyway. Your son won't have been harmed from a single dose, but I'd be furious if I were you, because a side effect can be bed wetting and also nightmares. I personally do not take it because I am prone to nightmares and it does heighten them. Even though melatonin usage is more culturally accepted in America, the parent was way out of line.

It's prescription only supplement yes, but not a controlled drug 😂.

I had a real battle to get ds a prescription for melatonin, it took almost 2 years to get it prescribed for him, I would be furious.

Wow. I'd be pretty annoyed at this.

I’m not apologising for making a suggestion and I’m never apologising for always being awake to the potential abuse of children. If ‘We Were Children’ is a little outdated for you, maybe watch ‘Sound of Freedom’ once it’s released in the UK. That tells the true story of how Operation Underground Railroad founder Tim Ballard & his team, are currently rescuing children around the world as we speak.

It is never an overreaction to be concerned about something that isn’t quite adding up.

Although this seems like a situation where the woman who gave the melatonin just didn’t realise what she was doing, things like this raise alarm bells all the time and the fact that it wasn’t just me suggesting it, means other people have that same caring awareness.

I am an American mum who lives in the US. I would NEVER give any child any kind of medication, including vitamins, benadryl or anything similarly benign without having the express permission from the resident parent. I can't imagine any of my mum friends would.

I think it is a leap and unnecessarily inflammatory to start suggesting to the OP that the sleepover parents had an intention to abuse her child.

Agreed, completely ridiculous conjecture and there's nothing whatsoever to suggest this from the OP's posts.

Also agreed. And that is what is wrong: nobody should do that without asking the parent, unless in an emergency situation.

But the other posts here claiming that the OP's child has been spiked with a "controlled drug" possibly for the purposes of child abuse are hyperbolic and ridiculous.

We Were Children is not outdated to me -- it's just completely irrelevant. Certainly we should all educate ourselves about child abuse and exploitation wherever it occurs. I recommend you watch The Dark Side of Chocolate about children in Africa.

I guess if it is your dh's cousin, just tell them firmly you were not pleased she did not ask you first and you don't want them to do it again. I would still tell all the other parents. I probably wouldn't call police if you think you worked it out.

I remember being in hospital as a child, in a ward of four, we were all bouncing around with over~excitement and nerves and the nurse came round with a tiny cup of bitter medicine for each of us that knocked us out cold..Chloral hydrate.
Still remember the taste.

I thought melatonin occurred naturally in milk? I'd never have given a supplement or drug to a child.

‘Milk contains melatonin in low concentrations at 0.004–0.056 ng/ml’
(Milagres et al. 2014).

It’s tryptophan in milk that induces sleep.

like-you didnt call the police?ok

What are the police going to do about someone giving a child a food supplement purchased from the vitamin aisle at the supermarket. A supplement designed for and marketed for children? It's not the norm to give other people's children in your care vitamins or supplements, but it isn't illegal is it?

Maybe dosages then, that might be what triggered it to hide

I'm also a Brit living in the US and I have NEVER heard of anyone giving melatonin at a sleepover. They'd get sued by every parent I know, even the laid back ones. That's not OK at ALL!

I take it sometimes and I agree, that it doesn't "knock you out" and it definitely doesn't make you sleep any more deeply than usual.

So either placebo effect or it was something else.

I nearly got sued for putting on a badly appointed band aid at a sleepover!

I would be concerned that it wasn’t prescription and ordered from Europe. Meaning there could be anything in it. It also can cause nightmares.

So...your child was drugged illegally and you're wondering whether you should mention it... to the person/people who drugged him?

Right.

This is a new level of batshitery.

My children have melatonin. No way would I ever give it to anyone else’s child! Not even calpol! Or a vitamin! I’d ask their parent!

It doesn’t knock my children out. They have 1mg and it just helps wind them down, but definitely doesn’t knock them out! I would be concerned something else was also given if I honest.

and yes in the US and in some of Europe you can buy it freely over the counter.