All old people should sell up family homes for families.

[benigogo]

Not really an AIBU, more a hypothetical question really. This view comes up a lot on MN, and I'm interested in the detail of what people actually imagine when they say it. What type of property should they be giving up? What type of property should they be moving to? How old is old? What about younger people who under occupy a property? For example 2 friend couples, have recently downsized. Both from a 4 bed detached, one to a 4 bed semi, and the other to a 3 bed semi. Their homes were bought, one by a young professional couple, and the other by a couple in their seventies, themselves downsizing. If you hold this view what do you visualise?

Just realised that this is a ZOMBIE THREAD. 🧟‍♀️

We are early 60s, retired, live in a large four bed semi and have no intention of moving yet. We utilise every room, kitchen/diner, lounge, bathroom, main bedroom all self explanatory, second bedroom - spare for guests or when one of us is ill, third bedroom - craft room, fourth bedroom - home gym, third reception - man cave. We've been here 33 years, brought up our children here, with £20k moving costs just exactly where is the incentive to move? Also, location is brilliant, we have shops, buses, trains, doctors, pharmacies all within very easy walking distance which will serve us as we age and let's be honest, none of us is Benjamin Button.

As for the kids .... We sacrificed for them when they were young, did without things many, many times so they could have what they needed and holidays, school trips, etc. I'm not sacrificing everything I've worked all my life for as well. They'll get what's left when we're dead.

My husband and I live in a five-bedroom house with a two-bedroom cottage in the grounds which we let to tourists.

It's ours. We worked hard for the money to pay for it. We have never had expensive cars, holidays or designer clothing. We have always lived within our means (no debts apart from the now paid off mortgage).

Having a beautiful home has always been our priority and we deserve to enjoy it.

Our home is an important part of our lifestyle. We are fortunate to live in a beautiful part of the UK where we frequently host family and friends. The cottage provides us with welcome additional income.

Our only child is at university, but she will always have a home with us.

Anyone who thinks we should have to sell can go and fuck themselves.

ZOMBIE THREAD!!!

Don't care! Still not selling...

its a strange one, where I live on a small estate all the massive 5 bedroom houses are mainly owned by retired couples. All the smaller properties are owned by a mix of retired and families. Think families just can’t afford this ledger properties. We could afford a large house but don’t want to push ourselves to breaking point financially and I don’t want to clean all that.

You're naive then

Dozens of comments and threads saying exactly that it should happen, and how selfish and greedy those evil Boomers are for not moving and selling off their houses cheap to move into cramped flats. Because that's all they're good for now their usefulness to the precious Millenials is done. Oh and give your kids the spare money. No pointless travel plans for you!

Eta before you all jump - modest semi with only onstreet parking because it's all we could afford; have given kids substantial cash deposits towards property already

I can't with these "have" and "have not" threads.

It's so decisive and inconclusive.

Old people should live in a box so younger people don't have to and vice versa.

Really? Isn't there something on TV or something else to do?

Statistically far fewer owned their home than rented pre 1980s.
Your example is an outlier.

I know this is a zombie thread but glad it's reared its head in a way - it seems to chime quite well with all these recent threads about grandmothers being expected to provide childcare!

I agree with all those saying 'older people' (with heavy inverted commas required because as the OP pointed out, how do you even define this?) should of course not be expected to sell their homes, any more than they should be expected to provide free childcare or generally subordinate their own wants and needs to those of their children.

I do think that some degree of intergenerational jealousy or resentment is understandable, however. Just because someone 'shouldn't' have to do something doesn't mean that other people 'should' be completely happy with that - people's feelings are their feelings and can't be reduced to moral logic. I have to admit that I sometimes find myself feeling quite resentful of my own DF. He is a widower in his 60s; gorgeous 5-bedroomed detached house with enormous garden; huge amount of disposable income each month; is going on 5 foreign holidays a year plus numerous others in the UK; expensive health club membership he doesn't use; expensive food rotting in the fridge and thrown away each week. Yes, he worked hard and earned a lot of that money, although as the sole living beneficiary of 4 dead grandparents' wills and of my late DM, he did not earn all of it. Occasionally this does rankle a bit. I would never say anything to him about it or expect him to change, although will admit to not being prepared to indulge his rants about the economy to the extent that I used to!

@Chizzit it seems strange to me (as someone much older than your dad), that he hasn’t passed some of the inherited wealth on. We aren’t wealthy, small house, modest savings, DC & partners are all in their fifties, don’t need our money when it comes, so the grandchildren, teens now, should benefit when we’ve gone. I couldn’t imagine hanging on to loads I didn’t need when it could be put to good use for younger family members.

@Seymour5 there are lots of reasons parents don’t pass onto their children.

My mother didn’t like her son in law

I have seen friends penalised by HMRC when parents passed assets to children, the parents have had to go into care and HMRC see the property transfer as tax evasion and pursue people at already difficult times.

Then when major gifting of assets in lifetime does happen, it doesn’t always work out. A friend who became a grandparent moved in with her daughter and son in law - selling up her home and becoming a three generation family. The family home is in the name of the middle generation. Things are tough and not working out as planned, but my friend now has nothing to run away to other than friends spare bedrooms when she used to be so independent.