What would your first plan be if its announced we are due an imminent Alien Visitation?

[Oddsockday]

Lighthearted but obviously the US congress are preparing to reveal the existence of Aliens.
What would be the first thing you would do?

@Shiftingparadigm

Surely we should

1 ignore them (pique their interest and play hard to get!)

2 shag them (once they're truly hooked)

3 eat biscuits in bed after shagging them, if they complain about the crumbs (or take ALL the best biscuits themselves!) they are definitely not a keeper

🤣

This should go in Classics

If they are Goalds remember to use posh english.
Posh english indeed

This should go in Classics

There's been plenty of similar threads over the years.

We need to add wine to that list too. I'd love to get the alien pissed. Might even have some choice narcotics too, or booze that doesn't give you a hangover.

Learnt to speak fluent rabbit 🐰

The alien`s landed and realised the most intelligent beings on earth were rabbits.

Buddy up with Elon. He'd surely already have made friends with them.

Stock up on toilet rolls, pasta, tinned toms.

Charge up all devices.

Bagsy the comfiest chair in the lounge before any other family members grab it.

Sit down and MN.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Forgot to add -

DEFINITELY ring 101 and log it

Ring 111 and ask for advice on possible interspecies transmission of diseases. Are there hygiene protocols??! I mean how often do aliens wash their bedding? Do they leave their washing out overnight to be darked on and for spiders to rub their willies on?

Ring the local authorities and complain about the illegal aliens camping in the area devaluing my property

Clutch my pearls very firmly and declare them to be NSIT and NOSD!

Considering I play a lot of PlayStation games that require survival then I think I’m pretty well prepared and I’d probably re-play the games just to freshen up on my skills.

I wouldn't have one because they don't exist

Impossible to answer without knowing what they’re like and their intentions. It could be fascinating or it could be horrific.

Oops! That wasn’t very lighthearted….um….I’d call for the Men In Black 👽

I hope they park their UFOs properly. I can see a few AIBU's on here about parking issues complete with diagrams.

I’d shave my legs in anticipation of a good probing.

Yep and God forbid that they land in a mother and baby space at the supermarket!

Perhaps aliens might like hairly legs. The little green men don't have any hair, so it might be even more exotic to them. All those women who have had laser hair removal might live to regret it if the aliens are very well hung.

Oooh, yes. They might be the giant prawn looking ones!

If they've been living amongst us, my money is on Elon being one of them and the X obsession is to do with his home planet.

My plan is, no plan. Just roll with whatever nonsense I'm expected to deal with and keep my kids safe much like current life

I'd make them some nice buttery mashed potato. They eat instant muck.

Has anyone else said it?
I'd obviously log it with 101, then prepare a buffet with Quiche, pringles, pizza and party rings. No need for veg, the end is nigh.

The Smash Aliens definitely look friendly and up for a bit of mischief.
Bur the anti carbs brigade will have a hissy fit.

Unless their calculations were out completely, they'll have already decided to land somewhere more interesting and powerful (like london) or somewhere where they'd be nothing and no-one for miles around so they can start a slow takeover.

But if by some chance they popped in to see me, specifically or landed nearby. If they seem friendly: probably invite them in, offer tea and coffee, and trip over myself wondering if they're allergic or something, and catastrophise about if I accidently offend them or worse....injure or kill them and then I've have a body...

On second thoughts. I'm "out" regardless - do you think think they work like trick or treaters - no "WE ARE NOT ALONE" sign (or pumpkins) and all lights off means don't knock?

Or do I need a no cold callers / junk mail / non-humans sign?

If they're not nice, then well if they're going for all extinction then I suppose I'd have to make an effort to fight for the human race. Otherwise....live and let live?

Most of their ships land in the US. They usually send a few to prominent landmarks around the globe. So avoid the Eiffel Tower,.pyramids etc. I'm in Australia but nowhere near the Harbour Bridge so I should be ok.

I'd want to se it with my own eyes.
Imagine sky news blathering on and on for hours that the aliens have arrived

And some fucker would blame it on Brexit/Covid