To add how would you deal with this?

[Uselessatthisstuff]

DD(9) has kicked over a bottle of nail polish onto carpet in her room. Then scared to tell me so has made it worse trying to clean it up.

I will call cleaning companies tomorrow to see if it can be sorted.

My question is how would you deal with DD?

Yes it was an accident - but - she’s been told before not to mess with varnish/makeup in bedroom (couple of priors with eye makeup that I’ve been able to clean up)

I’m furious, she seems to thinks because she’s said sorry and ‘it was accident’ that’s it dealt with. DD is now cuddling up with DH on the sofa watching a movie.

She needs to learn that actions have consequences. How do I deal with the situation?

We have an old towel in our household for stuff like this. My Dd6 loves to mess with her kiddy makeup and polish and I haven’t always got the time to supervise.
She knows to lay the towel on the floor before she starts so any spillages don’t matter. She loves the independent and it helps her to improve her dexterity etc. - she’s not got any neater at her nails yet 😆 and I ironically she’s never spilled anything - not that I’d would matter because of the towel.

To be honest she’s 9.
she’s messed up her carpet.
cheap rug over. Job done.

not the end of the world , not something you have to
look at all the time and not the last time it’ll happen !

As regards consequences - natural one - she has a marked carpet.

I have adult DD's. I got rid of carpet in the bedroom. They didn't have ongoing access to things like nail varnish, glitter glue etc. Once in high school, I expected no accidents or a lack of understanding about keeping the house nice (because things are expensive). My primary aged GDs are told that we need to look after things, or there won't be money for holidays etc. I think that you've got to agree these things with your DH. It should also make a difference that it's her own room that she is making a mess in.

I think I’d take line she’s not old enough for makeup if she can’t follow rules about using it so get rid of it all.

This, she was clearly worried to tell you. Maybe work on how you respond to things, get it cleaned and have a gentle conversation about where to use nail varnish. Then move on.

Nothing. It was an accident. Have you never dropped anything?

Are people deliberately ignoring the fact that she’s been told not to play with make up in her bedroom? So yes, dropping it was an accident. But she shouldn’t have had it in the first place. She was disobeying a rule that had been put in place by her parents.

Honestly this thread is making me see why teachers have such a hard time with behaviour in schools. It’s because many parents don’t expect their kids to obey rules that are set at home.

It would be interesting to hear from op where this nail varnish was stored tbh, if it was in the dds bedroom or if she had stolen it from elsewhere and took it in her room?

If it was in her room I have a lot of sympathy for her actually, She obviously likes it for op to have bought it but its akin to putting a load of chocolate or sweets in there and expecting a child to look but not touch.

If she stole it from elsewhere I would be more bothered about the stealing than the 'accident'.

It wouldn’t necessarily be stealing though. My 9 year old has some make up/nail varnishes that a relative bought for her birthday. They’re kept downstairs in a dresser in the dining room because I only want them used at the table. If she took them upstairs it wouldn’t be stealing, as they’re hers. It would be disobeying my rule to use them at the table though.

I can understand the frustration.

Recently my youngest, who's 11, damaged her bedroom through general heavy handedness and not looking after it.

So her "punishment" was to pay for the pollyfiller to fill in the dent in the plasterboard, and then she had to paint the paint scuffs etc.

Seems to have worked.

No nail varnish in the bedroom and a (small) contribution to the cleaning. A chat about why it's important to follow house rules such as this.

All children at some point will do something they shouldn't. All of them. Dd1 got coffee all over her carpet last year. She doesn't drink coffee; she was making a stain/wash for some artwork. She's 15 and the opposite of an awful teen. Just had a momentary lapse in common sense. She cleaned it as best she could but has to live with the stain now.

As for a pp who said that a 9yo shouldn't be interested in nail varnish at that age, both my dds got really interested in that at that age. Dd1, nearly 16, doesn't wear much if any make up. Most of her friends don't either. Dd2, 12, is similarly disinterested.

Let it go.
Annoying yes.
Keep the nail polish out of her room and somewhere you can store it for her.. apply it at the table with a cloth next time.

Yes, it was an accident, but she has already been told not to do it.

People/kids need to be worried when they have done something they have been told not to. Just saying it's an accident and hey, no worries, is why there are so many people in this world who think they can do what they like with no come back.

I think taking her makeup and nail varnish and only using it under supervision is the natural consequence. Can't see the point of punishment.

The fact it has made such a mess will probably be enough to make her not do it again. She can see the consequence of not listening. Maybe take the nail varnish off her for a short time? I personally would accept it’s an accident and be glad that she has shown remorse for her actions.

You shouldn’t leave a nail polish in a child’s hands : reach. 100 percent your fault imo
accept her apology and give her a kiss.

This seems like the best action.

Remove the items, explain you're doing so because you told her once and she has since proven that she wasn't able to take that on board, so to avoid any further accidents, she can only use them under supervision and you'll try again when she's older.

Do it all very calmly.

My god, the drama. The op should be horrified? Honestly, your hysterics are laughable. You and several other posters are insinuating that the op is abusive to her child.

The child didn't want to tell her mum because she knew she broke the rules, did something she shouldn't have, and as a result, stained the carpet. She was not hiding just a simple accident.

No punishments. Get a rug.

We made a point of never punishing our children for things that were accidents. Deliberate misdeeds came with sanctions of course.

Who punishes you when you accidentally spill something? Or is it one rule for you another rule for her? Not great parenting op.

OP isn't after a punishment for the child spilling nail polish. She's after a punishment for the child for breaking rules.

I'd take the nail polishes and make up away OP. Take it for a month, then after that, only give it to her in the bathroom.

Just to come back as I’ve just seen there have been more posts.

Nail varnish is kept in the bathroom and if ever applied is done at the kitchen table.

DD went into town yesterday with DH and family friends and bought a bottle, I didn’t know she had it.

It’s perfectly normal IMO for a 9, nearly 10 year old to start being interested in makeup. She’s not contouring and trowelling it on, we’re talking lip gloss and a bit of eye shadow once in a while!!

Carpet was installed by previous owners, very light and shows every speck, not something I would choose for anywhere let alone a kid’s bedroom.

We’ve had a chat and all make up etc has been removed from her room. She’s apologised we’ve moved on. Yes she was scared to tell me because she knew she’d done wrong and knew she shouldn’t have had it in her room, not because she’s scared of me, so to all those posters implying I’m a monster and should be worried that she was scared let me tell you I’m not.

l’ll be honest I’m surprised how many of you think I should just shrug it off as an accident despite her knowing it shouldn’t be used in her room. No wonder so many kids grow up thinking they can do what they like when they like.