People keep saying I'm slim

[Mapoftheproblematique]

I'm 169cm and weight fluctuates between around 9st 2 and 9st 5 depending. It's slender but a perfectly healthy weight, in fact I've known people of my height weigh much less.
Anyway, over the last few months I've had a couple of comments both to my face and behind my back about how slim I am, how people can't believe it, how there's 'nothing of me '.
I admit I'm slim but I'm hardly waif-like. I'm quite pear shaped too.
We're all shapes and sizes, I just don't see myself as incredibly thin.

Apparently 5 foot 3 and 10 stone is slim lol. I'm not slim.

When I lost three stone (in three months due to an incredibly fucked up regime) people said 'you look so slim' to me all the time and absolutely meant it as a compliment. Every day another colleague (I worked in a big school) or even a pupil would tell me I was 'lovely and slim', 'so slim now' etc over and over again. It was never, ever meant rudely or unkindly. I'm not deluded - people believed they were being nice. Slim was always used in a positive way. Read a book and notice how attractive women will be described as slim. It's a positive word, meant positively even if it doesn't land that way.

When I put the weight back on, none of them ever said to me 'you look so fat now!' because that would be indisputably rude and unkind.

Look at how people dissect Victoria Beckham and Kate Middleton's bodies. Always going on about them being too skinny and, especially Kate, saying she looks haggard etc. I don't get how people can't admit that people are shitty towards thin/slim people too. The only people who get a free pass are those who have curves in all the right places.

Just thinking of some of the insults aimed at thin women - haggard, gangly, lollipop, body like a boy, toothpick, stick insect, real women have curves, pancake butt, bag of bones, anorexic etc etc. Kim Kardashian has been slated on social media after her weight loss, a recent example that this does actually happen and it doesn't just exist in peoples heads.

Women can't win, they're too fat, too thin, too muscular, too tall, too short... Instead of accusing the OP of stealth boasting and denying her valid feelings and making it about fat shaming v skinny shaming, maybe women should support each other more and realise that the wider problem is this constant judgement and how comfortable people are commenting on women's bodies when they don't do the same to men.

About ten years ago I lost a lot of weight. My friend said to me at the time “you look a million dollars!” I’ve put on a lot of weight recently and have started a weight loss plan. I told my friend that I wasn’t planning to lose too much this time as I thought I had lost too much last time and she said “yes, I thought that at the time”!

Unwanted and cruel comments happen to women no matter their size, but its dangerous to say a thin woman being called names is the same as the systematic prejudice and medical bias fat women face.

When Lily Allen posts pictures of her new frame, there are comments saying 'OMG SO THIN! I love it!'

People do not comment 'Omg so fat! Love it!'

Slim is still the aspirational ideal that is sold to us.

Well, lucky you

The OP didn't say anything to compare the two though, it's other posters coming on and telling her she's wrong for feeling like she does because overweight people have it worse, or comments like the most recent comment saying "poor you". It's a shame someone can't come on and say how something makes them feel without competitive comments about how other people have it worse. Why can't both be valid?

*well, lucky you - not poor you!

And your point is?

@continentallentil perfect response!

I’m 5ft 9 and I weigh 8 stone 5. I get comments all the time. Usually from my husband who says it’s like shagging a xylophone!