People keep saying I'm slim

[Mapoftheproblematique]

I'm 169cm and weight fluctuates between around 9st 2 and 9st 5 depending. It's slender but a perfectly healthy weight, in fact I've known people of my height weigh much less.
Anyway, over the last few months I've had a couple of comments both to my face and behind my back about how slim I am, how people can't believe it, how there's 'nothing of me '.
I admit I'm slim but I'm hardly waif-like. I'm quite pear shaped too.
We're all shapes and sizes, I just don't see myself as incredibly thin.

'Socially acceptable when you wished they weren't'.

Exactly my point. It shouldn't be socially acceptable to make comments on another person's size/weight.

You just don't know what they're battling with.

But ‘chubby’ does have negative connotations. Slim is a compliment. Nobody is saying she’s terribly thin. Slim. It’s a nice thing to say. Why does she need support for that.

Yes I agree it shouldn't be socially acceptable but it is, and that's because we have a culture which considers women's bodies fair game. And it is propped up by these terrible weight threads on MN where we see truly frightening, disordered attitudes to body size and diet all the time, entrenching more deeply the horror of being fat and the importance of being thin. And so it goes round that people then think they're doing a good thing by calling someone thin even though their comments are not at all welcome.

Though I agree they should keep it to themselves. Her body size/shape is nobody else’s business. But there’s a lot of suggestion that it’s a nasty thing to say. It’s really not. Thin/skinny might be. Slim isn’t.

We just shouldn’t need to comment on anyone’s body - especially in an office environment. I’m a perfectly healthy 8-10 and I’m sure what would have been an average size at one time. I just find it weird when people need to say anything about my size when they wouldn’t dream of it about someone larger than average.

I was a size 10 for most of my life and was constantly told I was slim, thin, lucky etc.

Now I’m an enormous 12 and nobody ever says it anymore. So and 10 and under = thin. 12+ unremarkable to fat.

#humblebrag

Agree @cardibach it's very disingenuous to pretend slim and fat are equally loaded words and everyone knows it's not the case. Ideally, no one would comment because they'd understand that a woman's body isn't up for their judgement and conversation, but the faux confusion about why people call someone slim but would never call someone fat is a bit wearing. Neither is ok, one is definitely worse!

Nah its rude to comment on people's appearance unless it's something they've chosen eg haircut

It's not rude to compliment imo

People carry weight differently.

I wonder if you look much slimmer than what your weight suggests.

It doesn’t matter though because they’re rude as hell to keep commenting either to your face or behind your back.

Disagree. Even with the haircut there's a time and a place. At work - no - focus on the work unless you'd genuinely tell a bloke their haircut looked nice too

You can solve this - have a shit, weigh yourself, then have breakfast. Job done!

No one calls me slim

I don't like being called 'thin'.

People don't like being called 'fat'.

It bollocks to claim they have equal weighting.

I'm quite happy being called thin.

Period.

@greenteaandmarshmallows I know this is a difficult concept for some Mumsnetters but my colleagues are my friends so we give compliments to each other. I know it's a shock!

Well you are. You are slim. Not skinny but slim.

I'm a similar weight and 6cm shorter and it's a good weight for my height, build and age. I had people insisting I was too thin (unasked for) at 11 stone. Now that is genuinely annoying

About their work? Or to men and women about their appearance equally?

My dept is 3 women & 1 man, I compliment all equally, largely for appearance. No one has run off crying. Today someone in HR commented on my "lovely blouse", I'm not talking her to a tribunal...

Quite (best comment so far!)...

I can wee that in a day easily.

OP, you are slim, other people think you are slim too, they may use the word thin. They probably don't use the word 'slender' because no fucker says that except twatty magazine article fluff pieces or advertising execs from the 1950's.

Would you like a chufty badge?

At least no one has posted yet telling the OP to eat 800 calories a day. That’s something.

"Slim" doesn't mean incredibly thin. It means slim. Healthy. "Skinny" means underweight. Thin.

Sounds a bit chubby to me.

OP don't worry about it. This is how MN is.
FWIW I have a similar issue. I am a lot thinner now than 10 years ago - lost a lot of weight following an illness and didn't regain it all, and partly due to lifestyle. I get comments about being 'too thin' even though I am a perfectly healthy weight and BMI, and a size 10, hardly a skeleton. A lot of it is insecurity and jealousy masquerading as concern.

It's the slimmer side of normal healthy.

169cm has a healthy weight range of 8 stone 4 - 11 stone 3.

Depending on builds some people will look at their best at the bottom of that range, some in the middle, and some towards the top.

Some people seem to think that being the lower to middle of the healthy range is worthy of commenting on a way that they wouldn't dream of doing if someone was on the larger end of healthy or above. My guess is that the people making weight and size comments have their own bag full of hangups.