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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let them in the tent

300 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 25/07/2023 16:53

So this is kind of lighthearted, its not an argument but I'm just wondering what others would do...

So my BF, myself and our couple friends are planning a weekend at the beach this weekend. I'm worried about the weather as the forecast says wind and rain, but it doesn't look like its going to get much better throughout August so the consensus is that we should just go this weekend and make the best of it. Hotel booked.

I suggested buying one of those pop up beach tents so that if it rains we could get under that until it stops. I said to BF that we could split the cost. BF said he doesn't want to do that, because then who would own the tent? (we don't live together) so he thinks it will be complicated and besides he doesn't think we need a tent anyway, he said if it rains we'll just go into the arcade or something. I said that would mean moving all the stuff off the beach and the rain might only last for 15 mins/half an hour as it says intervals of rain...we're planning to spend all day on the beach for two days so I really want a tent just to bob under if it gets rainy.

I haven't asked our couple friends but I doubt they'll agree to share the cost as they're a bit like BF and will say its an unnecessary cost, we don't need it etc, they're quite tight with money as is BF.

So, I'm looking at tents on Amazon and thinking of just buying one for myself. There's different sizes for 2 people, 4 people etc all at different prices. It can go up to £50 or more if you want a family one to fit 4 people in.

Now I just KNOW that if I buy and take along the tent and it starts raining, they're all going to get into it aren't they? Of course they are, if its there. So I'm thinking should I get a 4 person one? Or should I get a smaller, cheaper 2 person one and risk it being a real squish when they all try to chamber in with me when the heavens open.

Although I'll be the one who fully owns it afterwards, it will mildly annoy me if they all get in but didn't want to pay towards it. And I'm not sure how I feel about paying more money for a 4 person one to make room for them when they're not paying towards it. I could just get a small one that's just big enough for me, but then they might all squish in with me and that will be annoying.

So, WWYD? Would you buy the tent and say to them that its yours and they're not getting in because they didn't pay towards it? Or would you cover the cost yourself, for a 4 person one, and let them share even though they're not paying?

I know this is a first world problem and I'm not making an argument with anyone over it, I'm just quietly wondering whether or not to share the tent and wondered what others would do in this situation. Am I being really petty by wanting to say that its my tent and just for me because they don't want to pay towards it?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
itgetsthehoseagain · 25/07/2023 19:19

I'd buy the tent. You want the holiday to be a success, and this will mean it is - I've had a tent like this and it was completely brilliant.
You don't want to come across as churlish (which would ruin the holiday and mean you get bitched about behind your back), so you also need to let them in.
So I'd buy a larger pop-up. Just see it as securing peace of mind for you, which they serendipitously ride your coattails on 😄

GoodChat · 25/07/2023 19:20

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 25/07/2023 18:37

This is the sort i use, easier to carry than a pop up and easier to put away. The ground sheet is great to sit on and it does protect if you get a short sharp shower, especially if your beach is nowhere near a cafe.

How does that protect you from the rain?

itgetsthehoseagain · 25/07/2023 19:21

QueSyrahSyrah · 25/07/2023 19:16

What would I do? Well I wouldn't sit on the beach in the rain, I'd go do something else with the BF and friends that are seemingly sane and thus don't want to sit on the beach in the rain.

Why are you determined to spend 2 entire days on the beach if the weather's against you? Plenty of other fun stuff to do in most seaside places.

Because it's the beach!

Original poster
PinkStarAtNight · 25/07/2023 19:21

Thank you for the replies, I'm happy to accept I'm being petty if that's the consensus. I think I'm just annoyed that BF and these friends never want to pay for anything but always happy to use someone else's if its there. The friends are much worse than BF. They are the type to say they don't want any fries with a takeaway pizza or don't need rice with a curry, then when it all comes will say 'come on, give us half your fries/rice then'. Or will turn up with no alcohol and happily drink half my BF's bottle of rum. Regularly. tbh I don't even want to go with them, it was meant to be just me and BF but I accidentally mentioned a beach trip to them when we were out drinking and it has now become a group trip.

I really like the idea of having the tent - for me its about being on the beach all day and I don't want to leave even if it does rain for ten mins. I'm imagining the rain is going to come and go so I think its easier to just be able to hop into the tent every now and again and get to stay on the beach.

To answer the question of why we have so much stuff that it would be a pain to carry around- I'm taking lunch and snacks, drinks, picnic blanket, a book etc...if the rain is only happening in short intervals I don't want to be trekking back and forth from the beach...so much easier just to get into a tent for ten minutes.

And as for it not withstanding rain, the one I was looking at had a review by someone who said they used it while hiking and it held up well throughout a downpour.

I feel like most people haven't actually answered my question on whether or not I should let them get in after they've said they don't want to pay for it, and have just gone straight to saying that I shouldn't be buying a tent anyway.

But, I'm getting the impression that I would be petty to not let them in so I will if they want to. Will get a two person small one.

If they want to go off to the arcade without me though I'm perfectly happy to stay in my tent with my book and my G&T cans! I like the beach, whether its raining or not.

OP posts:
JudgeAnderson · 25/07/2023 19:23

Your trip away sounds hellish on several levels.

Riapia · 25/07/2023 19:25

Buy your tent OP. If it rains you can snuggle up in it with a flask of coffee. The others will be sat glum faced in a greasy spoon while the feckless parents allow their feral kids to run riot.

WittynotPretty · 25/07/2023 19:25

Definitely a non problem. Stay in the water until the rain stops - you’ll already be wet- but not if there’s thunder or lighting obvs: if there is, then just get off the beach.

LizzieSiddal · 25/07/2023 19:27

They are the type to say they don't want any fries with a takeaway pizza or don't need rice with a curry, then when it all comes will say 'come on, give us half your fries/rice then'. Or will turn up with no alcohol and happily drink half my BF's bottle of rum.

They sound shocking to be honest with you. Can you have a chat with boyfriend and ask him how you navigate the weekend together, so the pair of you don’t end up paying for them too!

JMSA · 25/07/2023 19:29

And you have the cheek to call them tight!
So you're annoyed about them coming into your tent - which let's face it is a bonkers idea anyway - because they didn't pay towards it.
I've honestly never heard anything like it! Confused

GiddyGladys · 25/07/2023 19:31

WWiD? Get a new boyfriend and mates.

It's not beach weather this weekend anyway, it'll be cold wet and miserable most places in England won't it?

QueSyrahSyrah · 25/07/2023 19:31

@itgetsthehoseagain I'm probably spoiled to be fair. I live close to the beach and there's no chance I'd plan a beach day with even a suspicion of rain in the forecast.

Everything being covered in damp sand is just miserable, I'd rather be warm and dry reading my book in a shelter on the promenade, if not in a cafe or pub or arcade with friends.

OP's update hasn't done much to make the trip sound any more appealing if I'm honest.

sandyhappypeople · 25/07/2023 19:32

PinkStarAtNight · 25/07/2023 19:21

Thank you for the replies, I'm happy to accept I'm being petty if that's the consensus. I think I'm just annoyed that BF and these friends never want to pay for anything but always happy to use someone else's if its there. The friends are much worse than BF. They are the type to say they don't want any fries with a takeaway pizza or don't need rice with a curry, then when it all comes will say 'come on, give us half your fries/rice then'. Or will turn up with no alcohol and happily drink half my BF's bottle of rum. Regularly. tbh I don't even want to go with them, it was meant to be just me and BF but I accidentally mentioned a beach trip to them when we were out drinking and it has now become a group trip.

I really like the idea of having the tent - for me its about being on the beach all day and I don't want to leave even if it does rain for ten mins. I'm imagining the rain is going to come and go so I think its easier to just be able to hop into the tent every now and again and get to stay on the beach.

To answer the question of why we have so much stuff that it would be a pain to carry around- I'm taking lunch and snacks, drinks, picnic blanket, a book etc...if the rain is only happening in short intervals I don't want to be trekking back and forth from the beach...so much easier just to get into a tent for ten minutes.

And as for it not withstanding rain, the one I was looking at had a review by someone who said they used it while hiking and it held up well throughout a downpour.

I feel like most people haven't actually answered my question on whether or not I should let them get in after they've said they don't want to pay for it, and have just gone straight to saying that I shouldn't be buying a tent anyway.

But, I'm getting the impression that I would be petty to not let them in so I will if they want to. Will get a two person small one.

If they want to go off to the arcade without me though I'm perfectly happy to stay in my tent with my book and my G&T cans! I like the beach, whether its raining or not.

I can’t believe you let them take half your fries/rice but would consider not letting them come into a tent..

the fries is the hill to die on my friend.. not the tent.

JOEY DOESN’T SHARE!!!

WonderingWanda · 25/07/2023 19:32

Buy a second hand one of Facebook for a start!

Diorinthecountryy · 25/07/2023 19:33

They don't sound like friends op more like piss takers. Maybe reset boundaries with them. Could you say to them that the trip is now cancelled and just you and your bf go.

Also I would find it worrying that your bf sees a break up in the future.

I would buy a tent if you really want one.

QueSyrahSyrah · 25/07/2023 19:33

Also agree with PPs. Moaning about tight friends while begrudging them a space under your shelter purely because they didn't contribute to buying it is about the most pot / kettle / black thing I've ever heard.

jazzybelle · 25/07/2023 19:36

Who the hell plans a day at the beach when wind and rain is forecast?!

Diorinthecountryy · 25/07/2023 19:37

Just to add. If you do go ahead and buy a tent then you will need to let them in. If you sit in a tent and don't let them in then I presume arguments would happen.

Is this about the tent op? Or how people treat you in general?

If its the tent then I think you have picked the wrong hill.

Doggytastic · 25/07/2023 19:37

I can’t believe I wasted 5 minutes of my life reading that. Man-up, it’s rain, it won’t dissolve you!

Original poster
PinkStarAtNight · 25/07/2023 19:38

LizzieSiddal · 25/07/2023 19:27

They are the type to say they don't want any fries with a takeaway pizza or don't need rice with a curry, then when it all comes will say 'come on, give us half your fries/rice then'. Or will turn up with no alcohol and happily drink half my BF's bottle of rum.

They sound shocking to be honest with you. Can you have a chat with boyfriend and ask him how you navigate the weekend together, so the pair of you don’t end up paying for them too!

We have already had this chat.

Have had very bad experiences with them around money. Multiple times we've planned trips and they have said they'll pay for tickets on their card and then told us how much money we owe...we've then been on the website and found that the tickets were £5 cheaper than they said. We put it down to a mistake the first few times but it just keeps happening. They overcharge for petrol, say that thibgs cost just a little more than they did, drink our alcohol but don't replace...

One of the worst was when we booked a group table for bottomless brunch. Couple said they would pay the full cost on their card at time of booking. BF and I transferred them £70 to cover our half. Thought it was all paid upfront. Once at the restaurant, having finished the brunch, the waitress asked for payment. We said oh it was already paid upfront on X's card. Waitress said no it wasn't. Friend said she thought she had paid it but must have made a mistake and not done it. No problem we said, just pay now...then she said they didn't have enough money on their card to pay. But we had already transferred our share weeks ago, which they had obviously spent. We ended up paying for all of us at the restaurant and waiting 5 days for them to pay us back our share.

Then there was the time they were over at mine and we all ordered takeaway. BF and me always have to get a pizza each because I'm vegetarian and he's not. This couple were arguing over what topping to get on their shared pizza. She wanted peppers, he didn't. They ended up sharing a pizza with no peppers, and not ordering any sides. Like I said they like to save money. When all the food came, she said to BF, who had peppers on his pizza, 'hey give me some of your pizza because you have peppers and I didn't get any.' He said no. At this point she had already drunk a quarter of his bottle of rum. She spent the whole night trying to wrestle pizza out of his hands, because she wanted peppers and also I think half a pizza wasn't really enough for her but her BF had said they couldn't afford one each. She also tried to get me to share my chips because they hadn't ordered any.

OP posts:
zooopta · 25/07/2023 19:42

I'd just buy a 2nd hand one 🙄🙄 sounds like you really want one

Diorinthecountryy · 25/07/2023 19:43

Op seriously just ditch these people and go no contact, block them on everything.

mumwon · 25/07/2023 19:45

ahem this is where the old fashioned plastic mac came into its own

Cakecakecheese · 25/07/2023 19:45

Diorinthecountryy · 25/07/2023 19:43

Op seriously just ditch these people and go no contact, block them on everything.

This. They're spongers

BadNomad · 25/07/2023 19:49

Whose friends are these? I couldn't be bothered with that nonsense. Just ditch them (and your boyfriend) and do your own thing.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 25/07/2023 19:54

OP, they sound loathsome. Is there any way you can back out of this trip? Or create a ruse so they back out?

Tbh your boyfriend isn't sounding so great, either, in the anecdotes you provide.

I hope you get your book and G&T on the beach, rain or shine!

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