People becoming increasingly rude and self entitled

[SusanandMidge]

A friend was told to fuck off by a delightful woman at the weekend when she asked a bunch of adults (late 20s, early 30s) to turn off the loud music they were blaring from the pavement and singing along at top volume to at 11pm.

On Saturday I had a woman with a young child in the car refuse to reverse when she was driving the wrong way in a car park and our cars met. She insisted I reverse and even opened her window and said a sarcastic 'now was that so hard' when she passed me.

My neighbour was berated by an affronted father, one night last week, for asking a child aged about 12 who was creating an absolute racket outside her house at about 10.30pm and refusing several requests to move, where she lived so she could speak to her parents. Apparently she really upset the child who arrived home in tears!

Is it my imagination or are people becoming increasingly self entitled and highly indignant when asked to show a bit of consideration or manners to others?

@stbrandonsboat I agree with you. As a reformed trouble maker and ex junkie. Religion has helped me become part of a community and keeping me on the straight.

On the local FB page, there are so many posts asking for free or very cheap goods, or if anyone wants to give away school uniform or a fridge or any number of household items.

If people are genuinely in need, fair enough, but I’m not convinced that’s the case.

I’ve noticed it’s always ‘their friend’ who needs these items. I suspect they want to pick up a freebie to sell on so make up a mythical friend whose house has been flooded, or is about to become a skint single mum…

A missed playtime is wrong because he needs fresh air and social time with his peers. Are you denying him his right to maintain friendships?
A serious talk or a slightly raised voice has impacted her mental health. Do you want her to become a school refuser?

I think that schools get the worst of this sense of entitlement, oddly usually from the most ineffectual parents. Schools should stop allowing parents to breeze in demanding to see their child's teacher, the Head, anyone, without they have made an appointment, just as they have to do with other professionals. Apparently, I'm away from the chalkface for almost 20 years, parents can email a teacher and then expect a reply, instantly. No teacher should have to deal with any parental nonsense out of school hours and no parent should have a teacher's personal emeail address. If there is a genuine emergency let them contact an emergency number to the Head, who will decide if it's an emergency or not and deal with it.

The comments about religion are interesting. I read an article recently about how religion provides a moral framework and even if people are not religious if society is as a whole they are surrounded by the framework and know and understand it, eg the 10 commandments - thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not kill etc. it becomes part of the fabric of how we behave. Without a moral code that people adopt and adhere to society starts to break down. The article wasn't promoting religion, it was saying that many people are growing up without any moral framework, which is essentially how we as a society behave and treat others.

It's not so much that people in the UK are rude, it's that they're loud. Unbelievably loud. They think being loud means Being Fun.

What I wonder is this; those children who do get boundaries and guidance do better in life than those that don't? I think that has to be right. If you don't have self control or manners then you cannot get those extra things you need. Yes being an arse may get you some music on the bus, you may be able to be rude to someone who has no option but to be polite back as part of their job, or whatever, then you aren't going to be in position to do well. Being rude to reception staff because you are inadequate says "hey, I'm deeply pathetic as I exploit the fact I'm never going to see you again". You are stunted.

Having manners doesn't mean you are a pushover. Successful people are mostly well mannered. They cultivate people. I think it's still true you mostly get what you give.

I think fear. Fear of looking stupid, fear of maybe not understanding.

I honestly think that the proper tinfoil covid deniers etc are so because of fear - the truths we faced at the time were so awful that it was probably easier to think of it as some kind of scam, with the added bonus that YOU were one of the clever ones who knew the truth over the sheep. I dont think they have the emotional intelligence to grasp the reality, its too scary.

I worked a large event recently checking entry to the accessible portaloos, which were only for people with disabilities who had pre-registered and provided evidence to get a special wristband.

Many other people tried to use them, most were ok with a polite refusal and pointing at the nearest other loos you could literally see from there (but had a long queue). probably 1 in 10 tried to argue their way in, some getting really irate or abusive.

People can be very self-centred.

As a generalisation, I find Brits louder if they have had a drink. In terms of general day-to-day volume, you will instantly know if there is an American within 50 feet of you on public transport.

People are angry out there...and don't I know it...I'm a road cyclist 🙄

I am sorry but loud and British does not compute. I really like how quiet things are, the train, the village, work.

If you mean pissed people on holiday, then yes, that I recognize. I am in the Cotswolds today and it is tranquil

Yup, there is a lot of selfish cuntery about these days 🙄

People are cunts a lot of the time. It’s grim.

Yeah I actually had a run-in with someone like this recently. She did something against everyone's wishes (the right thing to do was literally written in a contract she had signed) and then after when questioned about it, she said she was "sorry and taking accountability for it".

I asked her how she was taking accountability - she said with a straight face "well I told you I did it!". As if we didn't already know she did it?? Then that was followed up by her reasoning, which boiled down to "I did it because I wanted to".

She really believes that simply admitting to doing something wrong that everyone knows she's done - i.e. not gaslighting us - is the same as taking accountability for something.

I just can't look at her the same now.

On Saturday I had a woman with a young child in the car refuse to reverse when she was driving the wrong way in a car park and our cars met. She insisted I reverse and even opened her window and said a sarcastic 'now was that so hard' when she passed me

Next time that happens, stop, smile sweetly at them, turn your engine off and get the paperback you've been keeping for such occasions out of the glove compartment and start reading it. They'll go back.

I definitely wouldn't have given in to someone coming the wrong way.

As for the loudspeaker in restaurants, why don't the staff refuse to serve customers until they turn them off? Maybe they should keep a supply of cheap headphones too!

Or that being loud proves they are having fun. Such as laughing very loudly in pubs or at parties - everyone has to hear them Having Fun.

Major lack of self awareness or consideration for others needs.
The absolute distillation of this is how some parents interact with Primary schools. The entitlement is beyond belief and these kids aged 11 can't cope with being directed and can't self regulate. 🙄

Apparently, I'm away from the chalkface for almost 20 years, parents can email a teacher and then expect a reply, instantly

I think it depends on the school. At ds' school you had to email a central address and the message would get passed on. Although then the teacher might reply directly by email and then you had their email for future queries, but I would never have expected an immediate response.

Teachers used to be supported by the parents of the children in their care. Now they are berated, insulted and undermined on a regular basis by rude parents raising badly behaved kids.

Healthcare locations with security guards. Posted policies in GP surgeries about the fact abusive behaviour wont be tolerated. Yes, it is getting much much worse.

My ds thinks I am incredibly bourgeois to object to swearing (as indeed do many MNers given how they seem to think it's a badge of honour to call everyone the c word on here). That said he wouldn't swear AT me. If he did, I'd pack him on the first train back to his university accommodation!

Anxioys · Today 12:44
The world still seems polite to me. I wonder at the demographic of rudeness, because it would not surprise me at all if those at the bottom of society have to fight harder than ever for pay and basic respect or those who have made a choice to be there make it hard.

Public life in England depends on class, and at the top end people are still polite. Public spaces like buses and trains are getting worse, and that's when I notice people playing music, shouting or swearing.

It's because those people don't do manners, which was the old way of doing things in England, but now you need rules to control what happens.

In places where manners culture still works, England is a great place to be.

This is just not my experience at all. I was in the ROH at the weekend and the level of utterly entitled rudeness was breath taking. Two different and horrible women spoke to the man serving the drinks in the interval awfully.

I work in a service area and I'm constantly surprised that really rather well off , elderly people seem incredibly entitled. Everything is also always someone elses fault. I wonder if it's because they have learnt that this kind of behaviour gets rewarded. It often does. They certainly feel they are a cut above the rest of us.

Yes that's not playing into the feckless single mum stereotype at all, is it?

Sadly this is true but people do get there comeuppance sometimes today for example someone I considered a friend (until recently) I ignored her message trying to wrangle a lift because the last few dozen times I've helped her she hasn't said thank you or even given me a stupid text thumbs up she asks and asks and ASKS all the time but never says thank you or 👍 so I ignored her

I now feel guilty 😔