People becoming increasingly rude and self entitled

[SusanandMidge]

A friend was told to fuck off by a delightful woman at the weekend when she asked a bunch of adults (late 20s, early 30s) to turn off the loud music they were blaring from the pavement and singing along at top volume to at 11pm.

On Saturday I had a woman with a young child in the car refuse to reverse when she was driving the wrong way in a car park and our cars met. She insisted I reverse and even opened her window and said a sarcastic 'now was that so hard' when she passed me.

My neighbour was berated by an affronted father, one night last week, for asking a child aged about 12 who was creating an absolute racket outside her house at about 10.30pm and refusing several requests to move, where she lived so she could speak to her parents. Apparently she really upset the child who arrived home in tears!

Is it my imagination or are people becoming increasingly self entitled and highly indignant when asked to show a bit of consideration or manners to others?

YANBU. In my small village, there are some teens who regularly cause issues (nothing too bad like stabbing people, but generally being rude and aggressive and unpleasant) and the number of people who fall over themselves to excuse them and say 'kids will be kids!' or 'we were all like it!'. One guy said that to me and I retorted that if I'd dared be such a little sh*t as a child, there would have been severe consequences so I never was! He didn't have much to say to that, weirdly enough. But yes, as a general trend, a lot of people are happy to be ill behaved, inconsiderate morons.

Look at whats on TV, reality show after reality show of people who are entitled and not bright. People are sheeple.

YANBU. I work in a charity shop and it's shocking how many people just let their kids run wild, destroy merchandise, scream, play on stock etc. If you dare to say anything then you get a mouthful. THREE TIMES I told a child to stop playing on a folded exercise bike (very wobbly) and explained to the parent it was dangerous.

If you tell your kid "the lady will tell you off" then I should absolutely be allowed to tell your kid off.

Agree. It’s been building for a while… the whole being proud of “telling it like it is” - no, you’re just an arsehole. That was the start of it all and it’s just spiralled from there. Me, me, me.

I agree. There are far too many people who seem to have the perception that it's their world and the rest of us plebs just live in it. I am selling lots of my wedding decor on FB marketplace and Vinted at the moment and the amount of entitlement to the stuff I currently own that I paid my money for is off the scale.

People offering stupidly little as 'their budget is really stretched' as though it was fine for me to pay out for it but not them. I was realistic with my pricing too. And the requests for me to use my time to deliver it to them or have me waiting around because their time is precious and mine is not. It's just individualism gone mad and it's awful to receive tbh. I am now becoming selfish like them and just being polite but curt with it so it's making me into someone not very nice too!

Yanbu. I sometimes dread going out for the lack of manners. It lights me up when people are polite and kind.

More people value doing what they want over considering other people.

Totally agree

If you work in a public facing role you know people have always been twats. But ime it's gotten worse and worse in recent years, and got a lot worse very quickly towards the end of 2020 when the "be kind stay safe" well ran dry

Same

I agree. It's awful and it's getting worse. There are signs in shops, stations etc etc saying staff will not tolerate abuse. It's terrible that these have become necessary.

I was in a large branch of Boots the other week and a young woman was screaming at the person at the self service tills calling her a fucking c*. I was in a branch of Metro Bank the other day and someone was tucking into a KFC while they were waiting and started ranting and swearing when they were asked not to. On trains and buses in London people are playing music and videos and loudspeakers on their phones and couldn't care less about the people around them.

It's horrible.

I blame the parents.

Anyone working in a customer facing role will agree with you op.

I am a teacher and have never experienced such entitlement from parents.

I do wonder if it is a legacy of the lockdowns - mental health issues and dysregulation as a result of experiences during that period, even if the individual isn't aware of it.

It seems that many people now think that they and their family are entitled to have their every wish met, and must not experience any upset, frustration or disappointment ever. They have learnt that anger, complaints and persistence usually yield the result they want from the person on the receiving end who is intimidated into backing down.

Maybe we need to collectively stand up to these people. They know how to behave because they can do it with their boss and organisations that are known for taking a serious response to bad behaviour - airlines, passport office, inland revenue etc.

There are no consequences for bad behaviour at all and the possibility of it working in their favour, so they take their chance and congratulate themselves afterwards on their success. It's a shame they don't measure success in dignity, self respect and wisdom.

I was just on the thread about the rudest thing your kid has said to you in a meltdown. Truly awful. And parents are acting like it's all okay and funny. If I had said those things to my parents as a child, there would have been a consequence.

Does it start here? Surely rude children usually become rude adults.

It’s not perception, it’s people behaving as if they own the world - in shops, on the road, on public transport. If you read MN for half an hour you actually see people boasting about behaving like an arsehole

True enough, Blossom, but isn't there also the point that the obnoxious types are just more noticeable?

Happily there are still plenty of decent people too, though I agree they've become fewer. Trouble is, it's rarely appreciated if they say anything about this, no matter how politely - not when the badly behaved will almost inevitably claim MH issues, anxiety, ADHD, etc, etc.

She then went on to say that people had responsibility for their own families. Yours is a popular response for the hard of thinking

Yes, we don't reward good behaviour properly I don't think. Bad gets the attention.

Well then we're in for a rough ride because many of the current primary age children have an entitlement that I've never seen before. You can't apply any sort of sanction without a parental complaint.

A missed playtime is wrong because he needs fresh air and social time with his peers. Are you denying him his right to maintain friendships?

A serious talk or a slightly raised voice has impacted her mental health. Do you want her to become a school refuser?

It's exhausting. Some karma is delivered when eventually those defensive parents are on the receiving end of the bad behaviour or they can't bully their child out of a situation - often a club, college or university that kicks them out.

Not in the numbers there are now.

YANBU

You only have to read stories from emergency services and NHS staff to see how they’re treated by some people.

I notice it a lot on MN where many people are out for themselves.

The lockdowns was when I noticed it the most because there were posters saying how they’ve bought all of the toilet roll etc and then going to the shop just to buy one chocolate bar because they fancied it, with no regard to anyone else.

Then there were the petrol shortages were posters were saying how they’re filling up multiple Jerry cans because they’ve got a petrol lawn mower and need it to cut the grass, whilst others were struggling to get to work.

It’s funny someone said about school staff.
I got some second hand school supplies off an elderly man a few weeks ago and I explained it’s for my school.
He asked me why I was buying it with my own money and I explained and he said why not get the parents to chip in as that’s what he did when he worked in a school and I laughed at first thinking he was joking.

I wouldn’t expect parents to chip in anyway but the reality is that most of the parents want nothing to do with the school. And when they do it’s for negative reasons.
We have one parent to threatened to rip my head off and called me every name under the sun because I wouldn’t use my own money to buy her son a specific type of pen - I actually did buy this pen which cost £10 and he broke it in half and stamped on it and I refused to buy him another one. I said if he won’t use our pens then he’ll need to bring his own from now on which is why I got a load of abuse off mum.
And we have a parent who threatened to stab one of our staff and track her down on social media to find out where she lives - all because her son had the norovirus and had V&D and needed to go home but she didn’t want to pick him up as it’s our job to look after him during the day.

I don't know if there are more awful people or whether they are more noticeable because no one stands up to them or challenges them any more.

I remember someone pushing into a queue about ten years ago. A woman challenged them and they started calling her names and shouting. Lots of people in the queue backed her up. The offender didn't leave the queue but did back down and shut up. I don't know if that would happen now.

We don't reward good behaviour properly I don't think. Bad gets the attention

Absolutely, and as said, if the attention fails they'll all too often claim some "exemption" to swing things back their way, knowing that too many will be frightened into compliance

That's not to say exmptions aren't necessary of course - only that, for some, they've become an all too convenient handle to hang poor behaviour on

There has absolutely been a drop in decorum in public spaces. As someone who uses public transport I am daily bombarded with music and videos played on phones, littering, toenail clipping, really bad body odour etc. And people do this because they are trusting that no one else will. If we all started playing music from our phones on the bus it would be unbearable. People rely on others toeing the line of social expectations so they can break them.

I also find it infuriating when on a busy bus, someone with obvious need for a seat gets on, no one offers but then people get off half a minute later at the next stop. If you know you are about to disembark, why would you not offer your seat at the very least?

This is probably the most civilised time in the history of humanity, try living in the middle ages

"I also find it infuriating when on a busy bus, someone with obvious need for a seat gets on, no one offers but then people get off half a minute later at the next stop. If you know you are about to disembark, why would you not offer your seat at the very least?" ah but @JoeyRamoney , that requires the individual person to actually have manners. Non existent these days.

I think it's the internet and tv. All those reality tv programmes where people are obnoxious or crass. Online rages,
No respect for boring old politeness.
Being able to say anything you want to anybody online with no punishment.
Human rights giving people the right to be loud or offensive but not the right for anyone to respond threateningly when it's obvious anything else will have no effect.

People used to be 'dealt with' by the local community. Can't do that now.

Some karma is delivered when eventually those defensive parents are on the receiving end of the bad behaviour or they can't bully their child out of a situation - often a club, college or university that kicks them out

Or an employer
Been there, done that, and this was with young people training for an HCP role, so god knows what those in less professional areas must suffer