People becoming increasingly rude and self entitled

[SusanandMidge]

A friend was told to fuck off by a delightful woman at the weekend when she asked a bunch of adults (late 20s, early 30s) to turn off the loud music they were blaring from the pavement and singing along at top volume to at 11pm.

On Saturday I had a woman with a young child in the car refuse to reverse when she was driving the wrong way in a car park and our cars met. She insisted I reverse and even opened her window and said a sarcastic 'now was that so hard' when she passed me.

My neighbour was berated by an affronted father, one night last week, for asking a child aged about 12 who was creating an absolute racket outside her house at about 10.30pm and refusing several requests to move, where she lived so she could speak to her parents. Apparently she really upset the child who arrived home in tears!

Is it my imagination or are people becoming increasingly self entitled and highly indignant when asked to show a bit of consideration or manners to others?

I can't stop laughing at the sheer childishness of this. Wtf??

How you and your kids behave is personal to you, to blame outside forces for making you rude or hostile is a childs response

I couldn't agree more

Nobody denies that outside influences can have an impact, but as long as there's mental capability, behaviour is a choice - and if people are able to identify "wrong" in whatever else then they can apply the same expectations to themselves

We all get it wrong at times, but what's wrong with taking responsibility for that rather than falling back on some version of "He made me do it miss"?

What about Do unto others as you would have done unto you? Helping the needy? Caring for the orphans and widows? Love one another as you love yourself ? Those are all core tenets of Christianity . I see nothing wrong with that.

I agree!

Theres a strong culture of ‘blame anything but the individual’. On here virtually any excuse is suggested as a reason for bad behaviour - ASD, ADHD, dementia, anxiety, depression…

What about Do unto others as you would have done unto you? Helping the needy? Caring for the orphans and widows? Love one another as you love yourself ? Those are all core tenets of Christianity . I see nothing wrong with that

Happily many still do, LuluGuinea, but they often just get on with it quietly and perhaps the rude and selfish tend to be more noticeable because they're noisier?

You're right of course about the tenets of Christianity, but I'd add there's a difference between personal faith and organised religion, and it's often the latter folk have an issue with given all it's become

Yes, that's a fair point. I agree with you about organised religion vs personal faith.

You don't need Christianity to do sny of that.

Theres a strong culture of ‘blame anything but the individual’. On here virtually any excuse is suggested as a reason for bad behaviour - ASD, ADHD, dementia, anxiety, depression…

Those are sometimes used as excuses but more often than not are legitimate conditions IME.

If they’re legitimate concerns more often than not, then most people have some kind of condition to an extent that means they can’t take responsibility for themselves. I simply don’t believe that, when there is incentive it’s miraculous how people suddenly gain self control. Men who approach and intimidate people in the street are often deemed to have MH issues but for some reason they never approach scary looking blokes, it’s always lone women or the elderly. Why is that 🤔

This is really interesting to me, I cruise a fair bit and have just come off a P&O cruise and don't really recognise anything that you've said.

When we first got on, the lifts were really busy and a couple did try and get in the life before my dad who was in a wheelchair, but as soon as I pointed out to them he was there first and had no choice in using a lift they quickly apologised and stepped out of the way. Never encountered it again, in fact the opposite, and even on a few occasions people got out to let my dad in.
People always moved out of his way, helped to move chairs etc.. he said he felt he was treated like royalty.

I mainly find everyone to be happy and lots of jokes between strangers. Defo no kids running wild, or screens in the theatre, didn't notice with sanitizer as I didn't watch everyone who walked into the buffet.

Your experience was the complete opposite of mine. I'm sorry you had that, I'd like to say it doesn't sound normal, but maybe I've just been lucky in my experience on cruises.

And mine

What's wrong with a quick text

If it's diagnosed it's definitely genuine, but I see your point about it being used as an excuse. I don't doubt these men do have the conditions they claim but I don't think they're an excuse to be an arsehole. Plenty of people with these issues don't go round beating up women.

I bloody hate people.
Selfish greedy spiteful bullies

That's good to hear. Maybe we just had a bit of a duff bunch of passengers on board! We have cruised quite a lot before and haven't seen anything like it either. We'll definitely give it another try, just at a different time of year.

It's a shame you had to point out to the other passengers that your Dad was in a wheelchair, but at least they had the grace to be apologetic.

Don't get me wrong, we had lots of chats with people and they were mostly really nice. There was just an undercurrent of entitlement/selfishness that put a bit of a downer on it sometimes.

@TenderDandelions that's even more interesting that you've cruised and not really come across it either. Can I ask what boat it was?
I'm also wondering if the destination makes a difference to the type of clientele?

I agree op

Is it my imagination or are people becoming increasingly self entitled and highly indignant when asked to show a bit of consideration or manners to others?

YANBU. But if you go and read the thread about teaching able-bodied children to stand for older or frail or disabled adults on buses, and the howls of outrage that children might be taught to think of others and offer up seats on buses ...

You'll see one source of where this rudeness comes from.

I had to stop reading that thread, it was so depressing.

Indeed @SusanandMidge

I think it’s because many posters are still quite young and are wholly self-absorbed in their world of child rearing with small children.

To try to be fair and compassionate - I think that a lot of the selfishness of parents is actually a symptom of how difficult modern parenting is in our neo-liberal economy.

I think the responses on that thread that advocated each person for herself and “My child has rights!” are not the cause, but a symptom of stressed economics.

We've sailed Royal Caribbean and Celebrity before, from Southampton, to various places - Norway, Canaries, Mediterranean, etc. This was a P&O to the Med and 20% of passengers on board were kids, so the vast majority of people were younger.

I think as we've not gone at this time of year the average age was definitely a lot lower than we're used to.

It was very much the "brits abroad" stereotype at play at times, which we've never seen on RCI or Celebrity.

The more I read, the more I think we were just unlucky this time.

Thatcher and Blair took law and order seriously though, that's the point.

It is not the fault of the government that people are rude or self entitled. That is to do with how you are raised, and who you socialize with.

Does anyone remember when in a shop if you walked in front of someone who was browsing a shelf, youd say excuse me, dosent happen now.

what happened to courtesy on the roads, why do people stick their middle finger up when they are told they are wrong.

Why do some people never want to let anyone out in the traffic, dont they need to be let out sometimes themselves, this one never makes any sense?

I agree with this. I don’t think objectively there are more arseholes now than in the past. There have always been some people who are rude and entitled in society.