To not keep child home with a fever?

[caggie3]

I never know if I should keep my son home every time he's poorly or if I over react due to him being born and growing up during covid times, but I always do. Sickness bugs always but also colds, coughs, fevers. His attendance in his school nursery was only 68%. He's missed out on trips and days out etc. He woke up with a fever this morning, he's sat playing and it isn't bothering him but he is red and sweaty. He's meant to be going to a dinosaur park today and I said we won't go now he's poorly and he's crying that he wants to go and he feels fine. It just feels like I'm doing something awful letting him go out when he could be ill but as I said I don't know if that's just because having a child in covid times made me think that's the norm

So would I be unreasonable to let him go?! AIBU to not keep him home with a fever?

Why did you tell him that? You knew he'd be upset

Why not tell him it's fine, he can go another day?

If he isn't ill and playing around give him some calpol and send him, have you taken his temp is it an actual fever.

What is his temperature? Is he teething?

I did I said we'll go to the dinosaur park another day and he said he wants to go today, I said well we can't go today if you're not feeling very well and he's adamant he's fine. We aren't leaving until 10am so will evaluate but just not sure if as a rule they do have to be isolated with fevers or not

I don't think you should send a child to nursery or school with a fever. The reasons being that if they start to feel I'll they might need or want you, that if they are unwell they probably ought to be resting and that I wouldn't want to pass anything on to other DC or staff.

Is he old enough to decide whether he feels alright? Are you going too?

Have you taken his temperature? He doesn't have to isolate if he has a cold and from what you are saying is he doesn't sound terribly ill.

YABU to send a child into nursery with a fever.

That is one hell of a disturbing attendance rate op

If he’s getting fevers on that kind of regularity - you’ve been to a Gp??

When DD had a temperature it always meant that she was ill - UTI, ear infection, chest infection, chicken pox. She never had a temperature for no apparent reason.

That's an extremely low attendance (assuming just illness, not you choosing to take him out for other reasons). I don't mean that judgementally but it does suggest either he is ill an unusual amount or you are keeping him off when others wouldn't. School will be concerned below 90% (and possibly before that).

Can you easily postpone plans to another day? I wouldn't take children out with a 'fever' but that probably depends on definition. Some children are prone to a slightly raised temperature with a cold but are otherwise quite well. Mine don't tend to have a raised temperature too often so I tend to keep them at home for coughs/colds when they are visibly lethargic.

Please don’t do this and make everyone else ill. My DC’s nursery keeps emailing to plead with parents not to do this as it just spreads illness around. If he’s teething, ok to calpol; otherwise, don’t be that parent!

My ds is one of the children who gets a temperature if you look at him wrong. I took him to the gp more times than I could count when he was a baby. As he hit toddlerhood, as long as it responded to calpol, he was eating and drinking as normal and playing happily I stopped stressing.

He is still more likely than dd to have an astronomical temperature in response to a minor ailment but a lot of the time he shakes it off. Hydration is very important. He got temperatures when teething etc so I definitely didn't keep him off then if he was happy - you can't catch teething!

It is horribly low! He's not in compulsory school but a school nursery so it's not caused any issues but it makes me think am I over reacting and keeping him home too much!

He doesn't have school today anyway as it's the school holidays I'm just wondering if I need to keep him isolated or not.

I think covid has made people more aware that you don’t have to be on the verge of death to take a sick day and there’s not actually anything noble about going in and spreading illness to everyone around you. But there’s a balance.

Only you can take a judgement on whether he’s old enough to decide for himself whether he’s well or just wants to go to the park - and depends too on his temperature, red and sweaty would be a bit odd if he doesn’t have one and it isn’t super warm where you are.

If you keep him off every time he had a cold then he will have low attendance. If he is an only child and born in Covid then I imagine his immune system had a hell of a lot of catching up to do once he started nursery so I’m not surprised he’s had a lot of minor illnesses. If they have a temperature or a tummy bug then you do need to keep them home, with Minor colds and coughs I would always send them in.

Coughs and colds you can and should send them in if they are ok enough in themself.

Fever, give some calpol/nurofen and see how they are.

68% is extremely low, probably good you've been given that info now so you can make changes before reception year, if he missed that much school during reception year he would be miles behind the rest of his class

Why are so many posters not reading OP's posts? Her DC is not going to nursery today, the trio is one they are doing themselves.

OP, if he responds to Calpol or similar, and is feeling well enough to go, I'd go but be ready to leave early.

Regarding temperatures usually, it really depends on other symptoms and general wellness. If he has a temperature that comes down with medication & is not otherwise unwell, I'd send him to nursery. Kids so often have low-level fevers that can be managed.

I was confused by all the nursery talk and misread I thought he was going on a nursery trip!

Have you taken his temperature? What do you class as a fever?

So would I be unreasonable to let him go?! AIBU to not keep him home with a fever?

@Beachside82

Not sure why you quoted that line?

She means go to the dinosaur zoo. With her. Not nursery.

That's my point 🤔

It's really interesting reading all these responses.
My children are older, but we're at nursery through covid so we're kept home for coughs/temperatures etc until they had negative tests and usually most of the symptoms had got better by the time the results came back.

The interesting part is people saying that your nurseries are basically begging you to keep them off if they're unwell, where as our school is the total opposite. My daughters attendance was 94% this year due to 3 bouts of tonsillitis with temperature of almost 40 degrees, and two episodes of vomiting where she had to have 48hrs off as per the schools rule.... and they sent home a letter at the end of the year telling me I needed to improve her attendance for next year!!!

YABU to say he has a fever without checking his temperature! It’s summer, he could just be warm! Take his temp, give him calpol and his breakfast, see how he is. If he’s fine in himself and the temp is normal or responds to calpol and stays down I wouldn’t worry. If he has a temp could be the end or start of something so depends what the temp is