To not keep child home with a fever?

[caggie3]

I never know if I should keep my son home every time he's poorly or if I over react due to him being born and growing up during covid times, but I always do. Sickness bugs always but also colds, coughs, fevers. His attendance in his school nursery was only 68%. He's missed out on trips and days out etc. He woke up with a fever this morning, he's sat playing and it isn't bothering him but he is red and sweaty. He's meant to be going to a dinosaur park today and I said we won't go now he's poorly and he's crying that he wants to go and he feels fine. It just feels like I'm doing something awful letting him go out when he could be ill but as I said I don't know if that's just because having a child in covid times made me think that's the norm

So would I be unreasonable to let him go?! AIBU to not keep him home with a fever?

The op started the thread at 07.47am

i have reread and no where does she say in the op. - he is NOT going to nursery today but should I take him to the park anyway

which would be bloomin odd because they will bump In to all his nursery chums!

Clearly the dinosaur park was a nursery trio

This would ruin everyone else's day as one person will be stuck looking after your sad, sickly child and not able to help with the others. Once the Calpol wears off, the nursery is stuck with your poor child who feels terrible and wants their parent. To do this on a normal nursery day, is really selfish; to do this on a special day out, is awful.

How is it a nursery trip? It's the school holidays? What school nurseries are open today? What a strange thing to accuse me of lying about

Easy mistake to make: you mentioned nursery attendance in your OP then mentioned a day out. It's easy to assume you meant a nursery day out. All ordinary nurseries are open.

Not you op! Chill out. I was talking to a PP

of course you’re not lying, unless seriously unhinged, which I doubt

Why muddy the waters with all about nursery and then get very defensive when posters assume that nursery night just be remotely relevant to the issue in hand

So let me get this straight:

• you keep your kid off unnecessarily

• you tell your kid one thing (we don’t do X) then they cry so you decide to reevaluate? You’re just teaching your kid toy whine to get what they want

I would assume the OP is in Scotland where it's the school holidays now (and has been for a couple of weeks).
OP I think it would be a good idea to start tracking his temperature, both on "normal" days and on days like this so you have a sense of what is the normal range for your child and whether this is truly a fever or not. What is his temperature measurement today?

as long as they are happy enough (without the help of calpol) I would always send them in. If they have a mild temp I would give calpol before sending them or taking them out.
Anything over 38.5 temp and/or if they seem unhappy and unsettled I would keep at home until they feel better.

Nursery's are still open if you are working parents, I think it's irrelevant whether your son is a covid baby or not, children pick up these often as they have a lower immune system than adults, my son was born in the covid pandemic too, and he currently has a cough, runny nose and covid, his been getting ill quiet often since his been going to nursery so exposure to this. I wouldn't take your son if he has a temperature, i know it's upsetting for him.

It was pretty clear to me that the nursery attendance was being used to illustrate how the OP treats her dc’s illnesses and she’s questioning it now. 🤷‍♀️

OP you may have a dc that just regularly runs a fever for any low grade virus/infection. Did you check his temperature based on the redness/sweatiness or because of other symptoms? What is his actual temperature?

You might want to reconsider your criteria for ‘sickness’. Outside of Covid a temperature by itself doesn’t mean much although it’s a sign to keep an eye on things. I wouldn’t isolate for a fever in an otherwise well child (exceptional circumstances excepted).

Yeah this.

Dose him up with calpol if he says he feels fine

What is his actual temperature?
There is a world of difference between 38 and 40c!

It was clear from the OP.

Then OP clarified it was not a nursery trio in her second post.

It was really easily understood if you read the posts.

@caggie3 I know you are not on about a nursery trip btw

It's a day out, not nursery. The fresh air can do wonders for helping children feel better/bringing their temperature down and if he does start feeling ill, you can bring him home again. I'd take a buggy in case he started feeling tired earlier, plenty of drinks and snacks and see how it goes.

you tell your kid one thing (we don’t do X) then they cry so you decide to reevaluate? You’re just teaching your kid toy whine to get what they want

….or that they have a say in their own health and capabilities.

For the benefit of @Beachside82

I said we won't go now he's poorly

I did I said we'll go to the dinosaur park another day and he said he wants to go today, I said well we can't go today if you're not feeling very well and he's adamant he's fine. We aren't leaving until 10am

Note the use of 'we', the timing of both OP & DC leaving.

That was from post 1 & 2.

Yes I'd probably attempt a day out I wouldn't have told him he wasn't going till I'd given him calpol taken his temperature then see how he was..

For context?

She's asking the (reasonable) question about when to keep DC home or not, based on her experience of having a child during Covid.

Cannot understand why this is confusing to you.

Your child may act normal and even want to play despite having a fever. As long as they don't over-exert themselves and play calmly, that's perfectly fine. However, your child is still infectious and should avoid going around others.
This is what I found in regards to a fever

I think it's irrelevant whether your son is a covid baby or not

I think it’s relevant. Raising a young child during Covid restrictions set the bar for illnesses much higher than it was before or is now. Presuming an only child the OP is having to readjust from serious restrictions to a more normal perspective on mild illness. The fact she’s on here asking says to me that she’s not 100% confident in her judgement.

I had two who ran temperatures for the most minor of colds (apparently DH was the same). Luckily we had a childminder with just one other child who took a robust view on being happy if they weren’t D&V.

OP, mine both grew out of it aged about 4 (to my utmost relief). I had had a chat to a healthcare professional friend who said some small children are like that with colds.