Am I being unreasonable to thinks MN has become full of blokes lately?

[hopelessmum1]

I have been absent for a while and I am suddenly seeing lots of blokes usernames. Could yous not go and create a Dadsnet or summat so women can talk freely and openly without being monitored by men? @mumsnet

How do you know PigletJohn is male?

Same.

It's easy to tell if a poster is a man because they always start their posts with 'man here'

Except for the very many who don't...

Similarly, there's no way of telling from somebody's username what sex they are. People choose something they thing is funny, interesting to them or maybe the name of a real famous person whom they admire. That's one of the beauties of usernames, really: that you can be imaginative and choose something that is nothing like your own name. How boring would it be if all everybody were called LucyPerkinsOf28SchoolRoadSloughSL11AA - not to mention an extremely dangerous security risk?

Just as there are female users with obvious male usernames, there are probably also male users with female usernames - not necessarily because they're out and out perverts and sickos, but maybe just because they're, say, big fans of Taylor Swift/Tina Turner/Helen Mirren and just want to acknowledge this in their online presence. Are we to assume that women who call themselves something like BenedictCumberbatchsToothbrush are doing it because they're filthy deceitful perverts?

I think there's a bit of a parallel between 'men on MN' and all the MIL stories on here. I could tell you lots of stories about the things that my MIL has done over the years - but none of you would find them very juicy or exciting, as they're the kind of things that are routinely done by kind, loving, caring MILs - the sort that a great, great many people are lucky enough to have.

The name Mumsnet will have the instant effect of casually deterring a load of the most toxic men out there, whilst actively encouraging women, whether mums or not - which always has to be a very good thing; but we have to accept that there are still plenty of toxic people on MN: men and women; in fact, going on the user demographic, probably a significantly higher proportion of those people are actually women. Do we want misogynistic condescending, mansplaining Billy-Big-Balls arses on here? Obviously not. But we don't particularly want smug, bitchy mean-girls here either.

I mean they are annoying, yes.
But worse one’s are the one’s pretending to be women, that’s more insidious.

Not always. But some do give themselves away. Often with their reaction to being asked if they're a man. Most women if asked would just say no. When you ask the men they invariably say 'what makes you think I'm a man?'

"Bloke here" to tell us why we must appreciate his presence...

If any of the men here prove to be any of those things, we can deal with them as individuals. We don't have to paint every man who posts here (apart from the apparently sainted pigletJohn) as toxic.

This thread is full of generalisations about men as a sex. If there's anything I hated in the early days of fighting for women's and girls' rights, it was being told 'what women are like'.
So no, I don't generalise about men or put a negative spin on everything they say, without reason, because I've been on the other side of it, we're not done yet, and I'm not a hypocrite.

Sacred life givers 🤣
I’ve seen some crazy misogyny here, but that is wild!

Are they easy to spot?
Fairly easy.

Usually they jump between the Rules of Misogyny and strongly dislike women challenging them.

If you've not seen them then they're things like:

• Women are responsible for what men do
• Women should be grateful to men for everything. E.g. don't say he's a useless dad because he does a tiny percentage of housework, you should be grateful he's doing anything
• Women/feminism must be useful to me or they're worthless (hello cool girl so called feminist posters who think that bowing to penis is empowement)
• women identifying male pattern behaviour is sexist to men (see also cries of but NAMALT)
• It's worse for a woman to anonymously name the abusive behaviour they're experiencing than it is for the man to be abusive
• Women are playing the victim/martyring themselves so maybe if they stopped talking about things then they'd not feel so oppressed. They should put up and shut up.

There's a full list that gets posted here from time to time.

Sacred life givers 🤣
I’ve seen some crazy misogyny here, but that is wild!

That sounds exactly like a description that Gwynnie would proudly use - and probably hawk an overpriced foof-themed candle to celebrate it.

Ah yes, because my post demanded all the women folk worship at my feet.

Except it didn't did it. I identified as male, and outlined why I personally appreciate this site. I don't expect anyone else to so much as acknowledge my existence on here, let alone "appreciate" me

That was probably posted by a man pretending to be a woman anyway.

We don't have to paint every man who posts here (apart from the apparently sainted pigletJohn) as toxic

Yeah that didn't happen @saraclara. As has been said now 387848 times, it's the creeps, pervs, mansplainers and MRAs that aren't welcome. In fact, I said that in the post you quoted there, but for some reason you think that means I'm 'painting every man who post as toxic'.

All forums cross. I'm also on Gransnet, because I am a gran, but there's plenty of young women on there posting. And, some men. Men can sometimes offer a different perspective.

The net is wide open - anyone can post.🙂

I think if the sex board didn't exist, then we'd lose most of the men overnight.

The other week, I had someone with a flowery feminine username complaining that the Sex topic had been removed from Trending and how it was a sign of how uptight and man-hating MN is.

This thread is not full of generalisations of men as a sex🙄. It's a thread about the condescending, patronising, misogynistic and creepy men who have joined Mumsnet.

#Will I fuck BeKind and wheesht about it.

As other posters have already pointed out. If you offer an alternative or indeed any viewpoint that is different , some posters immediately claim that you must be a man. I often think that all the mothers to be who ask posters to guess the sex or gender if their baby, just need to ask the posters on this thread, who claim to be able to identify a man from his writing style. I wonder how old a child has to be before his style of writing immediately identifies him as male. It is ridiculous.
I love MN being inclusive and embracing Mums, Dads and those who are child free.
Hurrah for inclusivity. Those who don't like it are very welcome to start their own website where a team will analyse writing style before allowing people to join.

FGS.

Wanting a teeny, tiny slice of the internet that’s women-only is hardly on par with the oppression women have experienced since time immemorial. Seriously, there are not enough 🙄🙄🙄 in the world for such a comment.

I like men. I have lovely men (and boys) in my life. I socialise with men.

I would still far prefer they all clear off from MN.

Don’t worry Man Defenders - that’s never going to happen, so I just have to make my peace with the fact that they’re here.

Amongst my wide circle of lovely men - none of them would even want to come here. It’s not their space. They respect that. I respect them for that.

I will continue to wish they’d all clear off, and all of you who want them here can relax, happy that they’re here - always, always sharing their perspective……

I don't think a username is enough to go by. One of my usernames had a man's name as part of it, it was after a character.

I think it's disingenuous to pretend that there isn't a difference.

They've been posts before where an OP is talking about someone and doesn't disclose the sex, it's obvious if they're talking about a man or a woman.

Men and women have different behaviours and it comes across in their writing and storytelling as well

Ooh, women should be inclusive. Now where have I heard that before?🤔

So @TooBigForMyBoots , why not start your own exclusive website that answers to your criteria. MN has made it's position clear. It welcomes everyone as long as they follow the talk guidelines. You cannot demand exclusivity from a successful website that does not belong to you.

That's alot of lovely men , you're very lucky😁 and i like the way you describe us , yet you don't want us here. What about Grandads then ,you want them to not invade your space and fuck off aswell to Grandsnet's shed.

I'm not seeking exclusivity. But I don't have to silently accept MRAs, TRAs and perverts in the name of inclusivity.🤷‍♀️