Am I being unreasonable to thinks MN has become full of blokes lately?

[hopelessmum1]

I have been absent for a while and I am suddenly seeing lots of blokes usernames. Could yous not go and create a Dadsnet or summat so women can talk freely and openly without being monitored by men? @mumsnet

It's easy to tell if a poster is a man because they always start their posts with 'man here'

It's alright 'ladies', everything's ok now there's a man here

I remember many years ago before MN became so popular, posting regularly on the TES website in the general chat forums( disclaimer, I really am a teacher). I am sure lots of non teachers posted on the current affairs and other boards on TES. teachers are a generous inclusive bunch and I don't remember posters policing the boards on there trying to get non teachers banned.
MN is a For Profit website for parents. They want as many members and visitors as possible to earn revenue. I am sure they would like more Dads to post and to tap into the huge advertising revenue that posters support.

I saw one yesterday describe women as 'sacred life givers'

I mean, cringe enough, but then he went on to annihilate his wife because she's going through the menopause and seems distant and pissed off and has gone off sex. Mate I'm not surprised, I would heal over if DH called me a 'sacred life giver'

Then maybe there should be a campaign to encourage people to report more posts? I don't feel that inclined to report posts personally because you never hear back from the mumsnet moderators after you do. Sometimes they do remove the post but sometimes they just leave it there and you wonder why.

I was shocked when I first used this site as to how absolutely full it is of personal insults and vitriol. I came from a different site that was moderated much more stringently and personal attacks were heavily frowned on.

Now if someone insults me I don't bother reporting it as I have learnt that the moderators don't seem to mind that behaviour, so instead I just give as good as I get. But a better idea than people trading insults might be for people to be encouraged to report them and the mods having a low tolerance for personal attacks.

Or maybe they're just being open about it, recognizing that they should be as this is regarded as a board for women?

So on this thread men are wrong to hide their sex and wrong to be open about it. Okay.

Well if you don't report, then nothing will happen! Daft thing to say.

You don't always hear back if it's something as simple as spam/advertising, but IME you do mostly get a reply. But even if you don't, the moderators (tell us) that they read every single report.

So if you see something that breaks TG or you think is horrible, then report it.

Unless someone says that they are male, I struggle to understand how people are so certain about the sex of anonymous posters. I've been accused of being male a couple of times. That translated as "I don't agree with you so you must be a man". I can't be arsed getting agitated about this, but in the end this is the internet / world wide web and not a private user group. It is open to anyone to use.

I'm expecting to hear an entire orchestra of teeny tiny violins for this, but sometimes men here are in an impossible situation. (I know, I know.) I vividly recall a thread where I told another man off for being misogynistic, and the thread instantly turned into a discussion of whether I should have become involved (women don't need male voices here to White Knight them, versus thanks for being an ally). I left the thread with an apology and since then I've tended to keep quiet. Maybe I should just report more often as a compromise?

Now if someone insults me I don't bother reporting it as I have learnt that the moderators don't seem to mind that behaviour, so instead I just give as good as I get.

Not my experience. I've reported a number of posts where someone is being called a cunt or a twat and it's always been deleted. Are you reporting actually abusive, name calling posts, or just ones that robustly disagree in strong terms?

This is my experience too - actual personal attacks - any I report have been removed quickly.

BTW someone called me a cunt for mentioning a SPAG issue once, I didn’t report it but someone else must’ve done as it was deleted.

I have seen threads where if certain posters don't agree with what some are saying then they must be men. It's a public forum open to the world not a safe space or whatever people like to think it is.

There seems to be a growing number of 'poor men' replies on relationships threads, victim blamey posts,and posts that dismiss women's experiences. Some of them feel very manosphere in their outlook.

I can't tell whether it's an increase in male posers or an increase in women who think they're not-like-the-other-girls and for some reason are very invested in telling women to put up and shut up.

I'm just being honest that I report less than I used to do because I understand now that personal abuse is largely tolerated on this site, though actually calling someone a cunt may not be. Not going to get into an argument with anyone about it as don't want to derail the thread any further.

I still remember with great fondness the young man announcing his availability to help us with any computer problems we may have.

I wonder if he ever came back under another name?

Wish I'd seen that post - I'm always having computer problems 😉

I think MN moderators are really quick to respond to reports about posts that break talk guidelines. I always report anything which is racist, sexist, ageist or anything that goes against the clear talk guidelines. They are really on the ball.

A bit damned if you do, damned if you don't. But my tiny violin is out for you 😭😂

This site seems to be 'mums' by name only and really for parents. It's a great resource for parents and the side benefit for men is that they can read about the many trials and tribulations that women face. So in theory (and providing men are open to learning) it's a great way to break down barriers now that more men are choosing to take more active roles in parenting. It's sad to even type that but is still the case.

I'm not entirely sure if it's possible to tell who's who on here. I see so many instances of women being accused of being men, just because they don't agree or have a different POV. That's the ultimate insult but is hard to tell on the internet and AIBU is just one big bun fight at times and attracts people for the same reason 'am I am asshole' does on Reddit.

It’s more than just MRA and TRAs with issues with it, the recognition isn’t good enough and misgenders many ciswomen, especially women of colour.

Agreed, personal attacks don’t stand. People disagreeing with the OP (saying they did something shitty) aren’t the same thing.

But it's also school holidays and all manner of forums get an influx of new members trolling. MN is no different and possibly a bigger target as there's fun to be had trolling women.

I have no problem with men posting on here as long as it’s not a mansplaining post or some other misogynistic crap

Or maybe they should recognise that it's a board for women and not insert themselves?

@Grottoscraper A mute button would be good

Great to come back to all these replies. Thanks