Am I being unreasonable to thinks MN has become full of blokes lately?

[hopelessmum1]

I have been absent for a while and I am suddenly seeing lots of blokes usernames. Could yous not go and create a Dadsnet or summat so women can talk freely and openly without being monitored by men? @mumsnet

I don't mind men posting on Mumsnet - it would be impossible to exclude them anyway so we may as well embrace the fact that they want to participate.

The only thing I dislike is the ones who have an agenda. Like they dislike the idea of a "mums" group or find it laughable and basically only come on here to start arguments or push their own agenda. That does happen on certain forums, unfortunately, but it isn't really fair to use that as a reason to want to exclude all men as most are genuine.

They are beginning to pop up now to tell OP how wrong she is, and how valuable men are on this site. Yawn.
Theres a new website by Salk Grover coming out called ‘giggle’ which is going to use facial recognition to check if you are a woman.
Sadly, she is currently being dragged through the courts by MRA’s and TRA’s,- who don’t think this should be allowed.
I really hope she wins, I’d love a truly female only space online.

I completely agree.

I've definitely noticed more and more men here lately, it puts me off posting on some threads

I do have another couple of usernames which don't proclaim that I'm a dad, and I sometimes use those in threads where my own personal experience is pretty irrelevant and I'm not talking about my family. I wonder how many 'under the radar' men there are, posting like this, and whether that's also seen as an issue?

In the past I've been asked to leave threads (especially about women's-only spaces) simply because I'm a man, and I always have done (I hope without flouncing). I don't know where I'd find as a new online home if MN became single-sex, but that's a potential problem for me rather than MN!

I don't mind men asking for a women's POV actually contrary to PPs, but I do understand the pov that it's asking for emotional labour etc

It's perfectly acceptable for men to visit the site and browse if they want to learn about women's issues - my husband does so sometimes actually!

But I object to men just joining in general conversation here. It feels like the tone is being stealthily changed.

I found a subreddit aimed at men and men's issues that is positive and not misogynistic. I browse because I'm raising a son and I want to learn - but I don't post there because it's not my space! It's not difficult to refrain.

I cannot believe how many posters are trying to police who is allowed to post on a website designed for parents. MN is quite clear that the boards and the forum is open to anyone , male or female, those with children or those who are child free. I think it is healthy to have Mums and Dads on here. As for those people who reckon they can spot a male poster at forty paces........ like many other female posters if I post something that someone else disagrees with, the fallback response is, well, you must be a man. The more diverse and inclusive the better.

I do think some posters do not realise the aims of a for profit website like MN. Read the talk guidelines. It is clear that it is inclusive and welcomes everyone as long as they abide by talk guidelines.

Most men are fine and very much welcome on mumsnet. These are here for the same reason women come.
Then you have the ones who come here to tell us we are wrong. They try to belittle the women speak and will argue rather than debate. They don't listen and are incapable of reading the room.

Those like Pigletjohn and probably the men like pp add to this forum, they don't seek to take away from it.

In the relationship board, if a op is having difficulty with an abusive partner and have children. I think that is something I can offer an insight into. I grew up in a dv household and know only too well how it affects a child. It took me decades to reconcile that experience within myself. And then a bit more light hearted the pros and cons of hot or cold buttered toast.

@Northernsouloldies I'm sure you've got lots of valuable things to say, as most people do regardless of gender. But I value mumsnet as a place where I can assume I'm talking to a fellow woman, unlike the vast majority of online forums.

I'm not trying to "police" who comes here as a PP has said I'm simply giving my opinion that if more men come to mumsnet, it won't be a place I particularly want to post anymore.

Yeah I agree the site is for everyone - you certainly don't need to be a "mum" to use this site or where does it end? Not encouraging childless women to post?

I do agree with @hopelessmum1 however that there do seem to be a lot of male "voices" on Mumsnet - of course we never really know each others identities on here but some do seem to seem to be hostile to women or pursuing an agenda such as promoting male YouTubers on the property forum. I think the answer is not to attempt to exclude men because the site aims to be inclusive. It is perhaps to employ more moderators to check the content of what is being said and take action against people being repeatedly argumentative or trying to silence women.

Yes. I think a number of them are using female names.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mumsnet are never going to attempt to 'ban' men fgs!!

It's a site 'for PARENTS by PARENTS'....that's it's strap line ad. And always has been

I completely agree. If there are lots men on MN the tone will definitely shift to being like any other internet forum. I really like the current tone of MN, and I don't like most other internet forums I've explored. This puts me in a bit of a dilemma! (I'm not suggesting that this is anything other than a 'me' problem.) It would be very hypocritical of me to say "I should be allowed to continue posting here but other men should stay away." Who draws the line?

I voted YANBU on that basis.

They are beginning to pop up now to tell OP how wrong she is, and how valuable men are on this site. Yawn.

Not a single person has said that they're "valuable"

How come that when women ask for advice on this site, it's easy to respond, but if a man does it's "emotional labour"?
Does their sex really completely change the effort it takes to answer their question?

I'm very happy for men to post here. Don't see how we could prevent it if we wanted to.

I just hate it when I see a post informing women why they're wrong about everything, CMS is anti-man hatred and feminism has gone too far, and then check the name and it's LadyIsabellaOfWomanville.

Absolutely!

I didn't realise there were that many men on here. Unless they have a masculine username then I struggle to tell. I don't really care either way. If I did, then I'd probably just choose to ignore them.

There are loads of non mums on Mumsnet. It stopped being a placed for that particular shared trait forever ago.

Personally it's the people who actually seem to be covert advertising that piss me off - there was a run of Botox advertising a while back which was really trying to make women feel insecure about their appearance

But this is an open site and if you can tell the men so easily just ignore what they say - they'd get fed up quick enough

I've seen complaints like this come up on forums before, when people want a say or sense of control over the tone of the whole forum. Unfortunately it's a non starter due to the nature of open, public forums. Posters' online identities are not backed by proven links to real life identities, so there's nothing anyone can do.

An Ignore button is one solution, where you can hide the posts from any posters you don't want to see. It has obvious problems though and most forum admins don't like it.

@Twiglets1

I think the answer is not to attempt to exclude men because the site aims to be inclusive. It is perhaps to employ more moderators to check the content of what is being said and take action against people being repeatedly argumentative or trying to silence women

But how would that work? MN isn't a pre-moderated site. The moderators don't sit there all day trawling our posts looking for objectionable content. They couldn't possibly, given the size of the site and the number of daily posts. They only see it if threads/posts are reported to them.

If something is bad report it - they tend to take action very quickly and do band repeat offenders

It's self moderation- we can use reporting to save mn the cost of pre moderation