The idea of breastfeeding makes me want to pass out/vomit

[scaredsick]

Currently 28 weeks pregnant with my first child.

Trying to prepare myself for birth/feeding and whenever I read breastfeeding guidance , I feel sick and dizzy. I've followed my local breastfeeding forum on Instagram and have had to mute them as the videos of breastfeeding infants genuinely makes me feel unwell.

Intellectually, I think breastfeeding is amazing and I never realised I had such an aversion to it. I've had friends bf in front of me and have thought it was cool as fuck, but I've not actually been able to see anything, just baby's head resting on a friend's chest. But seeing close up imagery or even the harvesting colostrum infographics made me retch.

Has anyone had this and is it something that can be overcome?!

Just try it and if it’s not for you then quit.

Hypnotherapy might be worth looking in to? I know it sounds condescending, but when it's your own baby and you get that wild hormone rush, you might be ok.

Harvesting colostrum is something I never did, I felt grim about anything touching my nipples. I also reaaaaally didn’t used to like anyone touching my breasts.

HOWEVER, I bit the bullet and breastfed. DS1 2.5 years and DS2 4 years. It’s painful at first because you have to get baby’s mouth open much wider than you think, and to be successful, you need to feed pretty much 24/7 for the first few weeks. Lots of time in bed, safe co-sleeping.

I really want to harvest colostrum (specific health related reasons why this would be beneficial for my baby) but literally can't read the guidance and see the info graphics without my head spinning. This isn't normal, surely?

I didn't do the colostrum thing, I found it too gross to squeeze my boobs and watch stuff come out suddenly. It made me quite queazy actually.
However when my DD was born I breastfed. When you've just had a baby it is different, you sort of go on autopilot plus you generally don't see the milk coming out so it doesn't feel as gross.
You might as well just give it a go and see.

This does sound extreme. You've got time to get some counselling to help you figure this out, if you want to.

But look, as long as the baby is fed, all is well. Remember that.

Looking at pictures or reading descriptions isn't the same as doing it though.

I have a very low threshold for bodily functions but have bf 2 dc.

I mean colostrum harvesting is pretty niche, if you don't feel ok doing it then don't. Don't fall into the guilt trap of motherhood now, it only gets deeper 🫣

I didn't want to bf as it grossed me out. When dc 1 was born I put him on the boob to see if it would work. Was ready to bottle feed. But he latched on and I was surprised how natural it felt. There were challenges along the way but baby and I got the hang of it and it was all fine and the lazy way of feeding tbh.

Try searching for 'breastfeeding aversion' and there will hopefully be some helpful resources. I've heard about it a few times so it definitely isn't unheard of.

Ultimately if you can't get it to work for you then so be it. Your child will still grow up happy and healthy. Breastfeeding is best, on a population scale. Individually, it's not going to make a huge difference and providing you love and nurture your child they will thrive just as much as any other child.

Sorry, just realised how flippant the happy and healthy part sounds. Meant with the best of intentions and I realise these aren't always a given.

You don't have to do it!

You don't need to harvest colostrum if it's stressing you out so much, i tried and didnt get anything out anyway. Don't put so much pressure on yourself.

If you'd like to breastfeed you can always put baby to breast and see how you get on, baby will get the colostrum that way.

I also didn't like the idea of breastfeeding but when DD was born it just seemed natural and i wasn't freaked out anymore. If you still don't like it (or don't even want to put baby to breast) that's OK!

Congratulations and good luck on whatever you decide to do.

Forget the pictures, infographics and stuff. If you really want to give it go properly then maybe book in a doula or breast feeding expert to help you in person. They will be used to people being squeamish and will be guided by you.
And see how it goes at the time. The hormones will play a massive part or else who in their right minds would do any of this.

Honest just step away from all of this information and try and forget about the whole thing until your baby is born.
My grandma (born 1900) managed to breastfeed 6 children without ever having seen a video, book or breastfeeding expert.
Sometimes too much information can actually just worry you, much better to see how you feel at the time.

The colostrum harvesting is a very new idea. DC2 is only 5 and it was never suggested to me then, now it comes up all the time.

If it's the harvesting idea that's freaking you out I'd ignore than and concentrate on just actual latching and feeding if you want to try.

I tried colostrum harvesting and it freaked me out so much that I panicked and dropped the syringe and never did it again. Once baby was born and was struggling to latch, the midwife in hospital helped me do it again and it didn't freak me out. Maybe you'll feel differently once the baby is here.

If you really want to try then do, but I didn't find any of the pictures or videos helpful as babies are individuals. If it's still making you feel funny then don't worry, there's nothing wrong with formula! I was formula fed and I'm perfectly healthy.

Good luck!

Then don't do it if it makes you feel this way.

Just give it a go .you may find doing it yourself quite different to watching a video! You say you have no problems with friends doing it.I think you may be surprised TBH. A good BF counsellor will be able to help .If you dont take to it then just try Bottle Feeding .

I felt the same and was really stressed out about it during my first pregnancy. My husband eventually said ' do you have to do it?, can you choose not to'. Weirdly that hadn't even crossed my mind. I went straight to formula feeding once the baby was born. No regrets

I hold a role in local public health, and I know people are going to constantly ask if I'm breastfeeding. I help compile a lot of guidance and policy for families and I feel.like such a huge hypocrite.

Do you know what, I'm a total breastfeeding advocate but some of the language around pregnancy and infant feeding makes me cringe a bit.

'Colostrum harvesting'
'Bloody show'
'Good latch'
'Nipple shields'

And all this stuff about calling the baby 'Baby', as in, 'I can see that Baby is engaged!'

I found it quite reductionist and patronising tbh. But then again, my MiL (as was) drove me mad trying to persuade me that breastfeeding was 'unnatural', I kid you not.

Anyway, as pp have said, give it a go and see how you get on. Maybe give things different names in your head, like 'early days feeding'. I managed OK with my DC (and didn't ever have to 'harvest' anything, even with premature DC2). Plus, it saves a fortune ...

I didn't want to breastfeed so I didn't.
I was prescribed some tablets to get rid of the milk.
Breastfeeding is a personal choice that only you can make.
It's nothing to do with anyone else how you feed your baby.

It does sound extreme - but honestly I would just see how you feel when the baby is in your arms.

I always thought breastfeeding was a bit ick (privately) and even took formula to the hospital with me for DC1's birth. And then he arrived, and a midwife asked me if I wanted to feed him, and I thought I'd try. Never looked back. Ebf all 3 of my kids and loved it. I can't understand my previous aversion at all, though it was definitely real.

Pictures would put me off too, but I breastfed two out of my 3 children, so reality is very different. However there are no rules whether you should breastfeed or not, and I wouldn't be getting into discussions with people about how you intend to feed ( apart from your partner or HCP). It's really none of anyone else's damn business.

I felt the same, BF of any kind by anyone makes me feel a bit queasy and it was never going to be an option for me. People told me I would feel differently when I had my baby but I didn’t, in fact the MW stuck DD on my nipple without asking when she was born and it was awful and I managed to avoid it with DS
I have no idea why I feel/felt like that, I have no issues with my boobs but I just did. I could never admit in IRL though and will probably get attacked here but I really don’t care.
My DC are teens now and healthy, happy and doing well at school etc. I am very close to both of them and I have absolutely no regrets.
If you think there is some trauma or something you need to explore then do so but you are allowed to have your feelings and as long as your baby is fed safely and adequately it’s nobody’s business how you do that.

I mean no I wouldn’t say it’s normal to feel that strongly about it.

How are you with your own breasts? Do you have issues with them? So far you’ve only mentioned issues with the infographics/information involving other peoples or diagrams.