The idea of breastfeeding makes me want to pass out/vomit

[scaredsick]

Currently 28 weeks pregnant with my first child.

Trying to prepare myself for birth/feeding and whenever I read breastfeeding guidance , I feel sick and dizzy. I've followed my local breastfeeding forum on Instagram and have had to mute them as the videos of breastfeeding infants genuinely makes me feel unwell.

Intellectually, I think breastfeeding is amazing and I never realised I had such an aversion to it. I've had friends bf in front of me and have thought it was cool as fuck, but I've not actually been able to see anything, just baby's head resting on a friend's chest. But seeing close up imagery or even the harvesting colostrum infographics made me retch.

Has anyone had this and is it something that can be overcome?!

Even the word harvesting gives me the boak 🤮

Don’t read any more and just see how you feel. I’m quite squeamish and managed to bf three babies fine. But it’s not the end of the world if you bottle feed. Now mine are older teenagers and eating and drinking loads of crap I 🙄 at how worked up I got about breastfeeding.

Lots of luck with everything. Just try and chill and enjoy your baby 💗

I've breastfed 3 babies. I can't do more than 4 months as I start getting touched out. And although I love it at the time, the thought of doing it after I've stopped makes me feel really queasy.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself and if you do want to give it a go make sure you are as comfy as possible.

I would speak to your midwife though.

Absolutely this. Your baby will be totally fine if you stick to formula. No judgement.

Everything is over medicalised now. Breastfeeding has happened without faffing about for years. Just wait until the baby is here, try it, if it doesn't work for you then move on to formula.

I did struggle but wanted to, Doula helped me enormously.

Are you talking about harvesting colostrum before birth? It comes out upon birth and baby gets it then right? I had a midwife do mine and it was not pleasant, I hate anyone touching my nipples, and I found pumping awfully uncomfortable and feeding at first too. I didn't actually enjoy producing breastmilk until month 4 then it was plain sailing.

The second poster said it, just try it.

I didn't expect the aversion, pushed through, and in my mind I just "had to" do it to feed my baby.

I think we can do whatever takes precedence in our minds. It's why we can lift cars off babies, you just do whatever your highest priority is.

If you can't do it, then you can't do it, it's that simple. But thinking about it leading up to it is only going to solidify your aversion. There's no need to do anything before the birth. Just let baby do the breastcrawl on birth and feed for as long as you can/want.

OP I was exactly the same, made me feel weird anytime I saw on Instagram, thought about it etc, but i vowed to give it one go because I'd heard how beneficial it is for mother and baby.

No idea when I first fed my baby, I don't remember it. Midwife must have put baby on me, or I must have just done it instinctively? But I have no memory of it. Then I didn't stop for 2 years!

Now I've stopped, I get the same "ick" shuddery feeling when I think about it/see pictures etc.

I think it must be hormonal

I'm actually newly pregnant again now so know I will probably BF again but still feel weird looking at images etc.

Don't do it then. Problem solved.

I know that sounds flippant. Women will be judged WHATEVER they do though. You've said yourself that you are concerned about what other people will think. Please don't be. If you BF, there will be people who will have something to say about that too.

Honestly, this is just the start of it:
Feed on demand: 'Ooh, you're spoiling them...'
Feed on schedule: 'Ooh, you're starving them...'
Cloth nappies: 'You're making a rod for your own back, I've no sympathy...'
Disposables: 'You are POLLUTING the ENVIRONMENT!!!'
Wipes: 'POLLUTION!!! WASTE!!!'
Wet muslin: 'All that extra laundry, can't be good for the environment...'

You get my drift? The time to stop giving a shiny shite about what other people might think is NOW.

I had absolutely no desire whatsoever to breastfeed either of my kids- the thought of it actually made me feel ick. I was never,ever pressurised at ante natal classes,or by midwives in hospital to breastfeed and I never felt guilty.

I'm the opposite as I find milk in a bottle makes me want to heave. I think it is because of being forced to drink warm milk at school, those little bottles left out in the sun for hours and revolting to drink not to mention the accompanied slurping and boys who thought they were hilarious loudly burping.

So I breastfed, you don't have to so maybe plan to bottle feed?

@Hoppinggreen I get it with not admitting it IRL, I've never told anyone so this is a first for me and I'm sure some people will disapprove but we can't help how we feel can we. Over the years I have bottlefed GC when they have been left with me and I think I am getting over it.

God that is so true. You have to learn to ignore and move on don't you.

A lot of people knocking colostrum harvesting but it was really useful for us in the first few days where he would struggle to latch or just being so frantic giving it him made him settle a bit and was then easier to latch. Each to their own but no need to knock it when it is really helpful if your feeding journey doesn’t get off to the best start

I don't mind the idea of expressing, but i wouldn't want to breastfeed directly.

Felt exactly the same
Never breastfed !
My boys turned out perfectly fine 👍🏼

My lovely DIL hated the thought as well, so baby was bottle fed from the start.

Baby fed is primary need. How it’s done is up to you :)

Made me feel sick too, hated the thought of it. Got 3 older kids now and I'm never asked if I breast fed. If people ask in the beginning just say you couldn't and give no further information.

I never wanted to breastfeed. Had three Dc and never tried it once. It didn't make me feel sick or ill but just never wanted to even try.

See how you feel and be prepared with formula x

I was diagnosed with this https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/breastfeeding/dysphoric-milk-ejection-reflex/#:~:text=or%20D%2DMER.-,What%20is%20D%2DMER%3F,more%20than%20a%20few%20minutes.

I persevered until my baby was 4 months and then basically overnight my milk supply just stopped (having gone from massive over supply issues). I think it was the stress of it all, my body just gave up. I managed to express for another few months which was enough for a couple feeds a day, but by 6 months they were FF and not a penny the worse for it!

This is not really related at all, but apparently the reason people have superhuman strength when it seems like a loved one is in danger is because normally our muscles will give a pain signal way before they are in danger of being damaged so that we don't keep pushing and injure ourselves. When you're in that fear and adrenaline situation like needing to lift up a car to rescue somebody, your brain simply doesn't pay attention to those signals. People who have done that kind of superhuman strength thing then often end up with some kind of strain injury from doing that because that pain signal is there to protect you.

(This has nothing to do with breastfeeding or not. Just someone made a comment referencing lifting a car off a baby and it reminded me of this fact).

I never felt comfortable with the idea.....so didn't! Your body, your baby ....your choice! As long as you're happy your baby will be happy.

I didn’t harvest colostrum or use a pump at all but breastfed DC for years without issue. I also never leaked. So it is possible to breastfed without the ‘messy’ bits (not that there is anything wrong with those parts of it - just addressing Op’s aversions).

I think quite a few people feel this way. If your feelings are that strong I'd go into this planning to bottle feed. I'd also tell everyone else that too, you dont need extra pressure. When you give birth you can see how the mood takes you.
I'm no mother earth but when that oxytocin kicked in I was on a maternal high and just got on with it.

I get you with the warm milk thing. I went to a small rural Primary in the 70s and my Mum had to fight for me NOT to be forced to drink the milk that basically sat in the sun from 6am to 10am.

100% with you on the warm milk in bottles thing 🤢

This has been really helpful.

I'm actually not putting a lot of pressure on myself to breastfeed - I'm a real pragmatist and I'm a huge advocate for judgement-free infant feeding advice and for empowering parents to make the best decision for them, rather than pushing any kind of 'breast is best' agenda.

I guess I was worried by the strength of my aversion. My friends talked me through colostrum harvesting and I thought it sounded great, especially due to the health issues I referenced earlier. I liked the idea of having a little supply.of the stuff in case my baby came early/was poorly. I was really shocked that I couldn't even read an info graphic without feeling intensely nauseated to the point where I couldn't finish it.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who is grossed out by it - even if it is the most natural thing on earth! I'm very open to just giving things a go and seeing what happens and keeping both bottle and breast options open.

It is pretty extreme.

It sounds like breastfeeding isn't for you.