The idea of breastfeeding makes me want to pass out/vomit

[scaredsick]

Currently 28 weeks pregnant with my first child.

Trying to prepare myself for birth/feeding and whenever I read breastfeeding guidance , I feel sick and dizzy. I've followed my local breastfeeding forum on Instagram and have had to mute them as the videos of breastfeeding infants genuinely makes me feel unwell.

Intellectually, I think breastfeeding is amazing and I never realised I had such an aversion to it. I've had friends bf in front of me and have thought it was cool as fuck, but I've not actually been able to see anything, just baby's head resting on a friend's chest. But seeing close up imagery or even the harvesting colostrum infographics made me retch.

Has anyone had this and is it something that can be overcome?!

Harvesting colostrum wasn't a "thing" when I had my babies. Thank fuck for that-I'm pretty sure I couldn't have done something called "harvesting"..

I would speak to your midwife and see what she suggests.

I think sometimes you can be over prepared and overthink the whole thing. Hopefully you'll get some decent midwives to guide you, all the midwives who worked with me the 5 days I was in hospital were great.

I had ds 19 years ago and this thread is the first time I've heard of the phrase "Colostrum harvesting" and must admit it sounds a bit 🤢, even though ds was in SCBU for the first couple of days and the midwife helped me express colostrum for him. It wasn't the best experience of my life having someone milk me 😂 but you just get on with it and take it as it comes, the midwife was very kind, confident and matter of fact about it - and even warmed her hands - it honestly wasn't that awkward and you don't need to watch!

I would say if over analysing it now is making you squeamish stick to the basics, keep away from the detail. If you are undecided, keep an open mind, wait until you get there and make your decisions when you are ready - be confident that either choice is ok. When push comes to shove you might find your hormones kick in and guide you through the squeamishness.

Bf used to give me the proper ick. The thought of me bf or colostrum harvesting made me feel ill. I said I'd give it a go but had formula and bottles ready... Ten months on and we're still bf. It's not for everyone but it didn't feel ick when we started and it was my baby.

This!

Just try and give it a whirl and see what happens, if it doesn't work out or it's not for you then that's ok. There are some certain MN members ( the breast feeding brigade ) who will be along shortly to try make you feel like utter shit for feeling this way. Just ignore them, everyone else does!

This does sound fairly extreme!

however my advice would be skip colostrum harvesting and just go for baby latching once born. Then if you’re not digging it you can move over to formula. I would try it and see once baby is here

Great advice.

I was exactly the same, then when he came out bobbing for the boob and latching on it felt totally natural. No pressure for you tho if it's not for you then don't bother but you might change your mind

I was supposed to harvest colostrum for my baby too because of having GD. Couldn't do it. Not everyone can. The midwife kind of led me to believe my boobs would be producing milk like a dairy cow but that's not how it works with humans and I think midwives sometimes forget that women doing this for the first time have literally no idea what colostrum is supposed to/does look like before birth (i.e. the teeniest tiniest amount of what looks like discharge, not bags of creamy gold-top).

Kindly, I think you're overthinking it. There's no need to worry about it yet. Wait til your baby is born, and if you want to try breastfeeding then give it a go and if you don't like the idea of it then give formula.

I was the same, I don't like my nipples being touched. But I did it when I realised it would be far more convenient as we took my son abroad when he was 3 weeks old. I did it for 5 months. I'm glad I did it but never really enjoyed it.

The act of feeding is different to seeing pictures - for one, you don't see much from your point of view and secondly, hormones and instinct may well take over.

However, that doesn't mean you have to do it. And expressing, Colostrum or milk, doesn't work for everyone anyway. If it works and you're happy to do it, great, if not, it'll be fine, as Science has allowed women to have that choice or opportunity to not do it with practically zero impact upon the baby's health. Feeding infants has been outsourced for both not wanting and not being able to do it for millennia, and fortunately, we don't have to advertise for poor women to take on that role these days.

It's like giving birth in the first place - sometimes it's not possible, sometimes the body takes over and sometimes people just don't want to do it. And they're all OK. Because the baby will be born and the baby will be fed.

Don't think I'm keen on seeing the colostrum and I don't like seeing milk coming out - for this reason I can't/don't express. However you don't see any of that feeding the actual baby, once I got used to it it's a lovely feeling. So don't let it put you off too much? X

I didn't want to breastfeed, so I didn't.

I did allow myself to be pressured into giving it a try with DD1 and it was a huge mistake. We were both a total mess. I lasted four days and felt like I was losing my mind. I reverted to my original plan of formula feeding and never looked back.

DD2 and DD3 were both formula fed right from the word go.

You do what works for you and what feels right. It is nobody's business but yours.

Breastfeeding wasn’t a thing when I had my babies (my eldest is 10) and according to the nhs website it’s only recommended these days if there’s complications with mum or baby.
Baby will get colostrum for the first 3 days if you breastfeed just how nature intended.
If you don’t breastfeed you can formula feed and baby will be absolutely fine, will thrive and be healthy and lovely.
Don’t give in to all the modern pressures which keep piling all these extra unnecessary rituals and routines upon women. They’ll only make your feel like a failure if you can’t keep up.

Sorry not breastfeeding I meant COLOSTRUM HARVESTING!! wasn’t a thing of course breastfeeding always been a thing lol

Is it possible that you are feeling anxious about the "specific health related reasons" and this is intensifying a negative association with breastfeeding?

It would be a good idea to speak with your midwife as they will be able to get you some support. I know a lot of PPs are focussing on the breastfeeding aspect, but I think maybe your anxiety is worth addressing.

If you want to bf as sounds like it's a new development now you are looking at this more indepth. Then I agree with other posters that you could look at hypnosis- there will be doulas that do hypno birth that might be able to help.

However don't beat yourself up if you end up not doing it

Also u might be 100% fine after the baby is born as we do change!

I felt the same OP, tried colostrum harvesting and just felt ick. I said I'd see how I felt on the day and if I wanted to let DS latch in hospital then I would, but turns out I didn't. He was put on my chest and I loved him, but I had absolutely no rush of hormones or desire to put him to the breast at all, I still felt a bit grim about it.

He's formula fed and absolutely fine (of course he is, all formula fed babies are fine, and if they're not fine it's not because of the formula!) and I do still feel a bit guilty about not trying but you can't help how you feel. Giving birth is tough enough without trying to do things that make you feel even more eurgh. Maybe take the pressure off and just see what happens when your baby arrives.

Why are you planning this before baby is here? Breastfeeding can only happen when he/she has arrived.

Save yourself the stress and don't do things ahead of time. My midwife said if you have a baby plan, go ahead and bin it because plans are one thing and when the baby comes it's a different story.

My breastfeeding story is positive, with both my babies it clicked straight away in hospital and I fed them both till they were 18m old. The idea of bottles, sterilising, warming up, cooling down, pumping milk and so on gives me a headache as I found breastfeeding so straight forward. Especially at 3am when a baby is hungry, it's the easiest thing rather than running around the kitchen.

So, wait till baby comes and go from there. Enjoy your pregnancy ❤️

Lots of good advice here!

Colostrum harvesting is recommended in GD because it's very good for the baby's blood sugars which can be low at birth. It's not essential, formula or direct will do much the same, and some babies can't manage more than the very smallest amount after birth anyway. One of mine threw up all the harvested colostrum but was fine direct. You really, really don't have to.

Sounds like classic breastfeeding aversion to me. HCP or not, no woman has to BF. No one else has the right to question you, either, but actually, I don't think it's a bad thing for any woman in the industry to discuss reasons why it hasn't worked for them.

You are overthinking really! There are benefits, but it has to benefit YOU. It's worth trying, with the rush of birth hormones and your own baby it is very possible it will be completely fine, but if it's not, you mustn't sweat it. No good for your mental health!

Just see how you feel when baby arrives, harvesting colostrum etc was never my thing either and always found the idea of hand expressing a bit icky (and perineal massage 😑) but didn’t mind pumps. Feeding my own babies was very different to watching all that. Just go with what you feel most comfortable

I felt like that too, when number 1 was born I'd not really given it much thought, we didn't spend 9 months obsessing back in the day. However when the time came I whipped it out and she seemed to know what to do, I recall a fountain shooting across my room from the other side into the nurse's eye! After that I never considered anything else, it was free, easy and nothing to wash up!

I felt the same when I was pregnant op. I felt physically sick when my boobs started leaking before my babies were born. I was hoping I’d feel differently once they were born, so I tried bf’ing and absolutely hated it. It felt so unnatural to me, despite it being the “most natural thing in the world”.
I took the pressure off myself and formula fed them both, enjoyed my time with my babies and they’ve grown up healthy and happy.