The idea of breastfeeding makes me want to pass out/vomit

[scaredsick]

Currently 28 weeks pregnant with my first child.

Trying to prepare myself for birth/feeding and whenever I read breastfeeding guidance , I feel sick and dizzy. I've followed my local breastfeeding forum on Instagram and have had to mute them as the videos of breastfeeding infants genuinely makes me feel unwell.

Intellectually, I think breastfeeding is amazing and I never realised I had such an aversion to it. I've had friends bf in front of me and have thought it was cool as fuck, but I've not actually been able to see anything, just baby's head resting on a friend's chest. But seeing close up imagery or even the harvesting colostrum infographics made me retch.

Has anyone had this and is it something that can be overcome?!

Oh God, another stick to beat new mums with. What the hell is this colostrum thing now? Honestly OP, I never really wanted to breast feed, not due to an aversion as such, just that they are my boobs, my space, kind of thing. I didn't connect with all the baby led stuff either. I tried to BF, massive boobs, lots of milk, couldn't get latched and lazy babies, so failed. Terrible word "failed". But both my DDs are happy, healthy, slim, bright, young ladies now, we are also all incredibly close, so who cares.

A few people asking about colostrum harvesting and basically go get you used to being able to hand express and have a little stock of milk if you so have any initial issues. I get the logic behind it but personally just wasn’t my thing so I didn’t do it and successfully breastfeed all my children. It wasn’t even a thing when bad first child.
Same with membrane sweeps and perineal massage, they just were not my thing. However I think sometimes perhaps not clear for women that these things are just suggestions, not actual strong clinical recommendations like induction etc. Just say to midwife no isn’t your thing and they really won’t mind (I am an HCP) totally different issue to them saying they would recommend induction because baby not growing etc. I would definitely express if needed to if my baby prem/sick as evidence on them needing your milk is very high

I'm the same, really queasy about the thought of it. I just couldn't bring myself to try it. Two bottle fed babies. Don't feel guilty about it. When your kids get older you get perspective and realise that whilst breastfeeding is ideal in so many ways it simply isn't the be all and end all in the grand scheme. They all end up eating junk as they grow up!

I found the transition a bit strange / cool. That my breasts went from being inert, decorative lumps to functioning organs with moving parts that were capable of independently making my baby her dinner.

If it helps to have some positive associations with breastfeeding it burns a load of extra calories so it really helps you shed any extra pregnancy weight and then you can eat extra cake / cheese / crisps with no consequences.

Breastfeeding = slim mum with hearty cake habit

Honestly I’d stop reading about it for now and just see how you feel later. You may well find that the actual thing is completely fine for you- after all, we’ve all evolved to do it and when you’ve just given birth you’ll be full of the hormones that encourage you to do it, so it might feel right and natural. Or it might not in which case you can bottle feed. Let’s face it, if you’d never had sex but had only read about it, that idea might make you feel a bit uncomfortable as well 😆

The fact you work in public health doesn’t mean you have to breastfeed and doesn’t give anyone else the right to quiz you.

This. Thats what i did, i never wanted to pump milk so didnt. But i found breastfeeding very natural and felt a real closeness to my babies when they fed.

It sounds very extreme. Of course you don't have to bf, but in your shoes I'd really want to understand why that aversion had developed - i mean bf has existed as long as humans have and formula is an incredibly recent invention, so its odd to be so incredibly, physically averse/revulse to something completely essential for survival as a species.

Have you possibly experienced some trauma or abuse that could be impacting you? Do you have any other phobias or mental health issues that this could be related to?

I don't think harvesting colostrum is common at all, i think its only recommended if you know for some reason your baby will have to be born early

I remember very clearly sitting in a hot bath at about 34 weeks pregnant and noticing that I'd unexpectedly leaked a small amount of milk for the first time - I was certain I was going to pass out and/or throw up! I went on to bf my kids for a combined total of 4.5 years. But if it's not for you, then just use formula and let yourself move on.

Be kind to yourself!! Hope you enjoy lots of baby cuddles and find the right path for you and the little one.

Ignore opinions you haven't asked for.

Oooh the idea of breastfeeding felt so weird when I was pregnant. I talked to my aunt about it who agreed but said it felt so natural once your child arrived. We had a few teething troubles with it but honestly I loved it. Just see how it goes. Try and take some deep breaths and try not to worry about it.

After baby comes if you still feel strange try 12 squirts of magnesium oil on the backs of your knees (apparently it is absorbed best there) I discovered this on a couple of breastfeeding groups and it's like a miracle cure for aversion. Worked like a charm for me with one of mine.

Also don't fret about it - if you can't manage if formula is always an option. Just don't overthink it before hand as you just can't know how you'll feel when the time comes. Good luck!

And don't worry about harvesting. Health things are always a balance. Go easy on yourself. You'll have colostrum when the time comes. Pregnancy is a hormonal rollercoaster - avoid things that make your head spin. Your needs are important too!

Your aversion is so extreme that I don’t think you’ll be overcome it without counselling. And if you don’t want to do that, then your baby will be fine being formula fed.

Stop with the pressure. Get bottles and formula. If you decide one you give birth you want to try on the breast then give it a go. If not that's OK too

Anyone asks just say your going to see how it goes.

Meant to add… I’ve breast fed three children and never harvested colostrum.

Just don't bother. No point working yourself up.

If i have another I will never breastfeed as I’ve had severe aversion this time and I can’t even go into detail but i had to stop immediately as it was causing awful things

Harvesting colostrum is a new fangled trend, far better is just to breast feed, it's achievable by most women (90% is the figure I saw)!but benefits from having someone help with positioning at first, the great thing is there's no messing with bottles, powder, machines, sterilisation... and it's free (well you'll need at least 2 bras plus a couple of packs of reusable pads you can throw in the normal washing). For encouragement read one of the many threads about not being able to get formula overseas, running out in local area, struggling when not home to make up bottles, and remember with breastfeeding none of this applies. I get mine for nearly 3 years combined between the 2 of them. So easy once you get established (took about 4 weeks with dd1, about 10 minutes with dd2)

I didn't harvest colostrum and despite trying for 3 days never actually produced any milk so DD had formula.

It's fine.

As long as your baby is fed that's all that matters.

Speak to your MW if you do want to try breastfeeding but if you don't then just go the formula route and ignore anyone who comments.

Honestly I feel you, I have two children and never attempted breastfeeding simply because the thought of baby sucking on me gave me the gip and would make me cringe. I’m all for it though have no issue just for me personally it made me feel ill. I have no idea why i had such an adverse reaction to it I guess it just wasn’t for me. And that’s ok too!

Of fgs, some women just don’t like it. My young adult daughter thinks it’s repulsive and she always pulls a face when I remind her she was breastfed! It doesn’t always mean trauma-you’re allowed to find something really icky without being traumatised. Luckily, we now have formula which is a perfectly valid choice.

I have pcos. I was told to try harvesting my colostrum but it didn’t work for me. Yet when I put baby to the breast (both times) the milk did emerge even with DS’ tongue tie. Unless your baby is going to have a cleft lift or will be a premie and you need to do it, I suggest you wait until it’s born.

Breastfeeding aversion for ‘no reason’ is often a sign of undiagbosed autism. It’s one of the number one signs that often lead to a later in life ASD diagnoses in European countries where breastfeeding is more commonplace

I would wait and see how it is. You don't have to breastfeed if you don't want to.

I had pretty bad feeding aversion when I was pregnant with DC3 while still feeding DC2. I weaned DC2 and I had huge doubts about whether I'd even be able to feed DC3, to the point that I made a little savings pot and started saving for a year of formula in case I couldn't do it! Absolutely crazy seeming when I fed the first two for years each.

DC3 arrived and I just latched him on the same as the others and all the horrible feelings totally vanished. I still have absolutely no idea what that was all about, but guessing it must have been a pregnancy hormone thing.

Maybe your feelings are the same. I found that just preparing to formula feed anyway helped me feel calmer and less panicky because I knew that I didn't have to breastfeed.

I agree just to wait and see, once the baby is here that instinctive urge might kick in (but it's ok if not).

In terms of colostrum...I had an over supply for both babies but couldn't get colostrum beforehand. What I think it did do though was induce early labour (37 weeks) for my second, so I wish I hadn't tried.

My second baby was in the NICU and I was able to express colostrum when he was born, no problem.

Good luck with it and try and put it out of your mind for now.