The idea of breastfeeding makes me want to pass out/vomit

[scaredsick]

Currently 28 weeks pregnant with my first child.

Trying to prepare myself for birth/feeding and whenever I read breastfeeding guidance , I feel sick and dizzy. I've followed my local breastfeeding forum on Instagram and have had to mute them as the videos of breastfeeding infants genuinely makes me feel unwell.

Intellectually, I think breastfeeding is amazing and I never realised I had such an aversion to it. I've had friends bf in front of me and have thought it was cool as fuck, but I've not actually been able to see anything, just baby's head resting on a friend's chest. But seeing close up imagery or even the harvesting colostrum infographics made me retch.

Has anyone had this and is it something that can be overcome?!

You’re right, that’s really not a normal reaction at all. Have you spoken to your midwife about this?

I was the same. So I didn’t breastfeed. Straight onto formula. Ignored anyone who gave me a lecture because I didn’t owe anyone an explanation. Once you start making excuses and explain, you're giving them permission to enter into dialogue with you. It's not illegal to not breastfeed. End of.

But seeing close up imagery or even the harvesting colostrum infographics made me retch.

Think it might make me retch too. Thankfully, it wasn’t a thing when DS, who I BF for 18 months, was born.

It’s very normal to have a strong aversion during pregnancy. I’ve breastfed both of my DDs but I’m pregnant again now and the thought of breastfeeding a baby makes me want to vomit. I honestly am quite repulsed at the thought right now. I fully expect that to change after the birth and for the hormones to kick in. However I’m also considering mixed feeding, you do what works for you.

It's weird because I wanted very definitely to try breastfeeding and was happy to get on with it, but got sick to death of the lectures on that and people buzzing around me telling me whether I was doing it right. I just wanted to be left alone to quietly get on with it.

I didn't want to be put under harsh striplights with voices in my ear on a loop. And then when I got home it was the same with DH and MiL, voices and opinions on a loop. (They wanted formula.)

Too many lectures!

No, you really don’t. Millions of us weren’t breastfed and we’ve done fine. Nobody ever talks about the benefits of formula feeding like dad being able to do it and the baby sleeping better. Do what works for you.

Antenatal expression drives me crazy. There is a huge push to do it, with out evidence it actually helps.

My suggestion is to find someone like a breastfeeding counsellor and talk through your feelings. If you decide not to breastfeed you can just say. "No, I'm not breastfeeding". You do not have to justify, or explain. You are allowed not to breastfeed.

It could be the pregnancy hormones making you feel this way, just ignore it and have another think about it once the baby is born. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, if people ask then just lie (if you want).

That's definitely not a normal reaction. You might feel differently once baba is here. Breastfeeding is amazing.

''Well we always knew it didn't work for everyone - pity I had to be one of those''

Wry smile

Bit intrusive to be asking no matter what your job

Then don’t. It’s as simple as that. A happy baby is a FED baby and it’s none of anyone else’s business.

I've always been like this with blood and worried I would be with breastfeeding and pregnancy. But actually when baby was here it felt natural and I've bf both of mine to toddlers.

I'm very squeamish.

Professionally, going through pregnancy and noting your reaction to information will help you at work, that's a good thing.

I've never heard of harvesting, doesn't sound like your thing so ignore it. Others can go down that route if they want to but you do you.

Congrats on the pregnancy, really focus on feeling positive and in the moment, it's an incredible time. It passes so quickly ( even the harder bits pass by)
You are pregnant for such a short time within your life, find the positives.

I fed my kids, still do, although the whole breast / bottle bit stopped 15 years ago.
Birth & breast feeding trigger a flood of hormones, it's a crazy time you are evolved to cope with but you have no idea till it happens - it hard to describe even when it's happened.
Be positive, have a goal - happy healthy baby & mum, have a Plan A - breast feeding is easier for you partly because it keeps triggering happy hormones to motivate you through the tough bits but Plan B - taking advice if your goal is in danger is there as back up.

I wish you all the best for your pregnancy, how do you feel today?

You aren't a walking public health message.

I am completely pro-breastfeeding. But honestly don't even 'give it a go' if the very thought is making you sick. Don't add to the stress and emotion of the first few days by feeling terrible about this. Enjoy your baby!

Your baby will be healthy, happy and well on formula.

Just formula feed then. It really doesn’t matter all that much. As for work frankly it’s no one’s business but if you must explain then say ‘sadly breastfeeding didn’t work out for us’ and move on.

Speak to your midwife but you don’t have to do it if you feel like this. You may feel different when baby arrives so I would suggest stop looking at the videos and see how it goes when baby arrives as sounds like it is stressing you out. I recommend going into mamas milk instagram page she has some great info about harvesting collestrum. And some people can’t do it anyway so again don’t feel like you have to if you don’t want to .

Honestly, in this day and age there's absolutely no reason to bf unless you want to. The difference to baby longterm is non-existent. If you were in a third world country without access to safe drinking water and formula then we'd be saying you should give it a try, but in the UK in 2023 whether you bf or ff your baby will turn out just the same so there's no reason to force yourself to do something you don't want to do.

bf can be amazing, ff can be amazing, they're both valid ways of feeding your baby who will thrive as long as they're receiving sufficient calories of one or the other. Good luck with the birth!

If I could go back in time and change anything about the early weeks with my first baby, it would be to give myself a break over breastfeeding. It took me months of struggle, pain, and shame to be successful at it and although I eventually was I think the difficulty probably damaged my early relationship with DD and being a mum. The decision to breastfeed or bottlefeed is a personal one not a public one, whatever your job. Your baby needs to eat is the main thing - that's why formula was invented.

That said, I would be feeling a bit stubborn about getting rid of an aversion to anything that wasn't rational and I couldn't control - maybe some emergency counselling or hypnotherapy as someone else suggested. But that's me not you and you should take the path that feels like it will set you up best for success and happiness.

My friend felt the same way. She bf her first for a few months alongside formula. She she formula fed second from the get go. She hated the idea of breastfeeding and it made her miserable. I totally respect her decision not to. I have others who have made the same decision. You don’t have to breastfeed. Your baby will be fine.

I can imagine it’s not easy with your public health role. But most health professionals know ‘breast is best’ only up until the welfare of the mother or baby is at stake. You’ll have to navigate that conversation if people ask. You always come up with a prepared statement ‘for complicated reasons I chose to formula feed and I don’t want to talk about it in this forum…’

For my part, I bf my child but suffered from something called DMER which lead to intense emotional surges (something guilt / sick to you stomach feeling) EVERY TIME I breastfed. That was shit. It got better as it went on. I’d do it again but I found DMER communities really helpful. There was a strong cross over between DMER and breast feeding aversion. I would recommend researching aversion, you’ll find a lot of people in the same situation as you.

You sound like a thoughtful mum. Your baby will be fine however you feed them. Motherhood is full of guilt inducing dilemmas, try not to let each one get you down.

Mate, chill.

Give it a go when the baby is born. If it works great, if not try a few things.

If still no good, formula will be fine.

Jeez "colostrum harvesting" now, like women don't have enough to fucking do/worry about.

I didn’t suffer from this and loved breastfeeding but if you don’t like the thought of it, then giving your baby a bottle won’t stop them thriving. Just be grateful you have the choice and try not to stress about it. Generations have grown up into perfectly healthy adults with bottles. If you’re desperate to breastfeed, then maybe trying something like CBT might help-or you may find when you have your own baby, you won’t feel repelled by it. But please don’t worry-your baby will be loved and fed and can thrive however you decide to feed.

Hi, first time mum of an 8 month old here.
I felt exactly the same as you! I'm squeamish and felt dizzy, faint and sick at reading about a UTD before I had one, peeling off the bandage of my first tattoo, and almost every time I have had blood taken- I've passed out several times! It's not a cognitive thing- it's a vasovagal response.

I knew I wanted to breastfeed. Harvesting colostrum around 38 weeks was so hard. I had to stop several times. But I persevered and it got easier. Here's how I did it: pick a time of the day you know you can go and lay down and won't be bothered. Have a warm shower and massage your breasts. Get on the bed, light a nice candle, put some lovely moisturiser on one breast and massage it while you're watching something on your iPad. Do that for 10 mins or so- be gentle. Get your syringe and give it a go- you're only going to get little droplets at first. Stop if you feel ill, compose yourself and try again. You might get frustrated that it's so much work for seemingly nothing. But if you do this every day, you will get better at it, and you will get more colostrum. Yes it will be weird and gross at first. It's completely alien to have this coming out of your body!

But the likelihood of your baby needing it is high when they're born. You will be so proud and pleased when you give it to the midwives/MCAs in hospital and you can give it to your baby. They will also encourage you to keep trying once your baby is born too. So get familiar with it, but take it slowly, gently and in the most relaxing way possible. Wishing you best of luck- you're doing an amazing thing!

Ps I promise all the ickiness will disappear as soon as you have your baby xx

You are doing too much research! You don't need to be this prepared. A lot of things about pregnancy and early baby days sound repulsive in advance, but when you're actually doing them they're ok. If you want to breastfeed, then try it when the baby is born. Your midwives will support you in trying to establish feeding. If you don't take to it or it makes you feel ill, then don't do it.

It’s not compulsory
there’s nothing wrong with bottle feeding - you’re not somehow ‘lesser’ if you can’t bf.

two of mine were formula fed they seem to be alright

Reading about bodily functions in general can seem a bit icky, but actually doing them may be a different matter: it just happens. Your body does its thing.

I'm male, so feel free to ignore me or tell me to butt out of this as wtf do I know about lactation and infant feeding, but I have a vague memory that as a child I felt quite grossed out at the idea of sex, to the point where reading about the mechanics of how it worked was really quite unpleasant, but I've somehow come around to the idea.

Without wishing to suggest breastfeeding is in any other way similar to certain other bodily functions, There are plenty of other bodily functions which many people would find pretty repugnant to read about or look at pictures of, but which we all do routinely!