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Original poster

To not rehome my pets despite lowering their quality of life?

119 replies

bakingtouch · 23/07/2023 13:53

I need this thread as a very clear wake up call if that's what's needed.

I've just broken up with my long term partner and have moved out of the house we were renting. I've recently moved into a ground floor flat that has accepted my pets. It has a garden bit out the front albeit concrete but my dog has no issue toileting there (obvs I clean)

They're all adjusting well (2 cats and a dog) and they're honestly my world, especially after the breakup, I'd feel so isolated without them. They're 7, 5 and 4. The dog is 4.

I'm having to go back to in office work full time (was at home 2/5 days before). On those 3 days my dog would get picked up by a service that offered a 2 hour play date service and dropped home again, with other dogs, but the best I can do now is have my mum pop in to let him out to the toilet. They've always been on KatKin and Butternut Box but this is massively going to have to change, my outgoings on my own are simply exceeding my salary so I'm having to cut back and they're going to need to go on a cheap food.

I do feel awful overall. They're life is going to be very different, but they're going to be happier with me still, right? Sad or is it best to give them up to someone who can offer them a lot more?

OP posts:
JudgeAnderson · 23/07/2023 13:54

They'll still be with the person they love, safe and have enough to eat. Keep them.

purpleme12 · 23/07/2023 13:56

Nothing about that says you should give them up

Babyroobs · 23/07/2023 13:56

It's a long day for a young dog to be left. Any chance your mum can take it out for a short walk when she visits ? I presume it is walked before and after your working day ?

MargosMangos · 23/07/2023 13:56

You sound like you love them very much, hold onto them

blacknredsweeties · 23/07/2023 13:57

Is there a window / door directly outside for the cats to come and go? I mean can you see if they wanted to come in?

It's not ideal for any of you but the animals will get used to it.

Original poster
bakingtouch · 23/07/2023 13:58

Oh that's really great, I feel so guilty and automatically think everyone would view it as bad.

@Babyroobs my mum sadly doesn't love animals much and wouldn't be keen on walking him but doesn't mind letting him out. Definitely not ideal though, I agree Sad he's walked before and after work

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 23/07/2023 13:59

purpleme12 · 23/07/2023 13:56

Nothing about that says you should give them up

Absolutely nothing. Your pets are fine. I've never fed pets .on anything as fancy as Butterbox😃

Original poster
bakingtouch · 23/07/2023 14:01

@blacknredsweeties I make the cats stay in when I'm not there or asleep. When I'm home I do leave the kitchen window open for them to come and go from the garden bit. They obviously use a litter box inside.

OP posts:
AgnesX · 23/07/2023 14:01

JudgeAnderson · 23/07/2023 13:54

They'll still be with the person they love, safe and have enough to eat. Keep them.

Exactly!

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 23/07/2023 14:02

The cars won’t care anyway and although it’s a long day alone for the dog, I know my dog would prefer to continue with my love than be sent to live with someone else or even worse, end up in a kennel. We’ve had to give up Butternut Box too and our dog couldn’t care less as long as he’s fed. He gets the trays from Aldi now.

LadyVictoriaSponge · 23/07/2023 14:04

Can you leave him puzzle toys and kings to keep him busy? Does he like the television? There is something called dog tv I think which might keep him entertained. I think when you are home you will have to make sure it’s quality time and if you can make the morning walk a longer one so he gets tired and hopefully sleeps more. Also I wouldn’t normally recommend this but is there someone locally on borrow my doggy who may be happy to take him out a couple of times a week?

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 23/07/2023 14:06

The cats won't care but I would worry about the dog - that's a long time to leave him with just someone popping in for the toilet.

Can your mum stay and keep him company for a while?

MissAnneLister · 23/07/2023 14:06

I think the unhappiness your pets would feel at losing you, their caregiver and prime relationship, far outweighs any discomfort they might feel at their change in circumstances.

Ilikewinter · 23/07/2023 14:08

Doesnt sound awful to me either. Is there scope for him to go to doggy daycare 1 day a week, or every other week, if he enjoys mixing with other dogs still?

As for chagning his food, we've all had to down brand, so im sure he will be fine 😁

Moonface31 · 23/07/2023 14:09

OP after my 13 year relationship ended I kept our dog. It was difficult, and the guilt was real, getting up before work to walk him, the dark rainy walks after work, all falling to me, paying for a midday dog walker and still not being happy with how long he was left 5 days per week. It's also extremely tying if you live alone. But he's my absolute world, and I am his, and I regret nothing. Keep him x

Vicliz24 · 23/07/2023 14:10

They're with you and that is always always going to be the option that keeps you all happy.

MereDintofPandiculation · 23/07/2023 14:11

If you took them to a pet rescue place to rehome (advisable because as an individual it's too difficult to check on the potential new owner) you have no guarantee that the new owner could provide them with any better conditions than you are. And they'd have yet more changes of location to get used to.

NotBotheredAnymore · 23/07/2023 14:12

I have only one favour to ask. If you are out for a long time make sure your cats have places of safety thoughout your flat. Just because they all get along right now doesn't mean it will continue once boredom and a smaller area start to be the norm.

Austrich · 23/07/2023 14:13

Don't give them up. They'd be heartbroken and as your dog is only 4, your life will likely change and get more comfortable over the course of his life. Rehoming would be a permanent solution to what may well be a temporary problem. A dog's priority is always their family.

ninjafoodienovice · 23/07/2023 14:14

Is there a back door for a dog or cat flap so they can let themselves in and out? My neighbour leaves her dog for long periods during the day but leaves the patio door open to an enclosed space and the dog is quite happy. Gets walked morning and night etc
You are your pets safe place and they are loved and fed and their needs met,that's all it needs to be.

LadyVictoriaSponge · 23/07/2023 14:15

MereDintofPandiculation · 23/07/2023 14:11

If you took them to a pet rescue place to rehome (advisable because as an individual it's too difficult to check on the potential new owner) you have no guarantee that the new owner could provide them with any better conditions than you are. And they'd have yet more changes of location to get used to.

Yes you have no idea what situation your pets would end up in, that would haunt me, keep your pets.

Sugarfish · 23/07/2023 14:16

Sounds like they’ll be fine and you sound a responsible owner with making plans for their wellfare. They’ve already recently had an adjustment. Rehoming them could upset them further.

AdoraBell · 23/07/2023 14:16

They will be fine, you have organised something for the dog and the cats will be okay. Enjoy your new home with your fluffy roommates. Onwards and upwards.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 23/07/2023 14:16

Have you got neighbours who will be irritated by your dog being vocal?

Chamging food is fine but it needs to be over a period of time so they adjust .

We changed our cats' biscuits from Whiskas to Crave (they have pouches too) as they use a litter tray though have access via catdoor . Makes a huge diffference to the smell (pooh)
Or maybe I'm in denial ! Grain free is better for moggies anyway

Weedoormatnomore · 23/07/2023 14:17

I will be slated but I used to have a dog when I worked full time. Had a walk before and after work she just slept during the day while I was out never had a problem with chewing, accidents. Your pets are still loved and looked after. They will quickly let you know if they are it not happy.