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Original poster

To not rehome my pets despite lowering their quality of life?

119 replies

bakingtouch · 23/07/2023 13:53

I need this thread as a very clear wake up call if that's what's needed.

I've just broken up with my long term partner and have moved out of the house we were renting. I've recently moved into a ground floor flat that has accepted my pets. It has a garden bit out the front albeit concrete but my dog has no issue toileting there (obvs I clean)

They're all adjusting well (2 cats and a dog) and they're honestly my world, especially after the breakup, I'd feel so isolated without them. They're 7, 5 and 4. The dog is 4.

I'm having to go back to in office work full time (was at home 2/5 days before). On those 3 days my dog would get picked up by a service that offered a 2 hour play date service and dropped home again, with other dogs, but the best I can do now is have my mum pop in to let him out to the toilet. They've always been on KatKin and Butternut Box but this is massively going to have to change, my outgoings on my own are simply exceeding my salary so I'm having to cut back and they're going to need to go on a cheap food.

I do feel awful overall. They're life is going to be very different, but they're going to be happier with me still, right? Sad or is it best to give them up to someone who can offer them a lot more?

OP posts:
Overthebow · 23/07/2023 14:20

The food isn’t an issue, they will get used to their new food. The cats will be fine, as long as they have food and a litter tray they’ll be ok indoors. It’s the dog I’d worry about, 5 days alone with just being let out once for the toilet isn’t great. Can you stretch to daycare or a dog walker once or twice a week? I don’t think it’s that fair on the dog to be left that long alone 5 days in a row.

Somethingsnappy · 23/07/2023 14:22

Plenty of exercise before and after work, the cats for company, and your mum popping in to let him out and say hello...it'll be OK! And as a pp said, your circumstances could change again, and become more favourable. I had my dogs for 13 years, and my circumstances changed a few times in this time period, some for the better, some for the worse. It was all fine!

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/07/2023 14:23

They will be with you - you love them and feed them tho a cheaper brand

Sounds like us all. We are all changing to own brands stuff

How long are you out for

If leave at 8 and back by 6

get the dog Walker to do 11-1

So dog is alone 8/11. 1/4 and mum to pop in 4pm

Or something similar

No need to get rid of your loves pets

Woodstocks · 23/07/2023 14:25

Everybody makes adjustments. So many families are trading down from expensive supermarkets to Aldi and they aren’t rehoming their children!

Could you pop in from work to walk the dog in your lunch break? A friend of mine did this as she lived close. In the morning she would go for a run with the dog so it would be tired out and then pop in for lunch and another walk in the evening and it was fine.

Chesneyhawkes1 · 23/07/2023 14:25

100% keep your pets. I've had a few relationship breakdowns and many house moves - but the one constant in the 17 years I had my dog - was me.

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 23/07/2023 14:27

This, you clearly love your little gang and you have no idea where they could end up if you tried rehoming.

If you can afford it, a small cat tower in the window would provide a bit of entertainment for the cats. Also, maybe provide some nice biscuits to bribe your mum to stay for a brew for half an hour when she pops in?

You can also pick up cheap indoor cameras so you could keep an eye on them too - hopefully will show them all snoozing happily whilst you're out and help put your mind at rest.

JT69 · 23/07/2023 14:29

Rescues are overwhelmed, the chances of a perfect new home are slim. You are their family , their world and love you more than themselves (well the dog does anyway!). Keep them, they will help you through x

caramac04 · 23/07/2023 14:29

I think your pets would prefer to stay with you in reduced circumstances rather than being rehomed.
I applaud you for keeping them and NOT rehoming them.
You are their world. Well you are the dog’s world; the cats expect nothing less than your devotion 😂

Ilovelurchers · 23/07/2023 14:33

Like everyone has said, many pets have worse conditions than yours - you should definitely keep them!

The food is a non-issue. I have actually had pets who prefer a cheaper brand sometimes! That will be fine.

The pets won't really care that your flat is a bit smaller.

The only thing is the long day for your dog, and as others say, plenty of dogs don't even have someone popping in to loose them out, so yours will be better off than some.

Lovely as dogs are, they aren't actually people and he won't be sitting there thinking, God this is boring, I wish I had a book to read or at least a jigsaw to do ....

Some dogs CAN get bored obviously and destructive or noisy - has there ever been issues with your dog when he has been left before? In my experience, if your dog is ok for four hours he will probably be ok for eight.....(with the pop in from your mom, obviously).

Is there anyway you could safely give your dog access to the outdoor bit or the property when you are out? This would be even better, but only if he can't destroy it, can't escape and isn't likely to be stolen.....

Best of luck. You sound a lovely caring person OP - I am sure things will pick up for you soon!

ThinWomansBrain · 23/07/2023 14:34

your cats will adapt - it does seem a long time for the dog to be on his own though - fingers crossed he'll be OK, but keep an eye on whether his behaviour is affected, and be open about solutions other than your DM just letting him out for a quick poo.

Sarfar45 · 23/07/2023 14:34

Sounds fine if he's getting a walk before and after work. Maybe once you get to know the area you might make some friends on dog walks. Then maybe you could do a walk swap.
Would your mum be happy to sit and have a cup of tea at yours for half an hour so he has company for little while? Maybe throw a ball in the garden for a bit.

Autumnsoon · 23/07/2023 14:36

Sounds like a normal life for a dog who’s owner works

jolaylasofia · 23/07/2023 14:36

dog will be fine, loads of pets are left whilst people work. Our dog eats chicken thighs and kibble and that's it. very cheap but he's really healthy on it.

TheMamaYo · 23/07/2023 14:37

Not sure if it’s been mentioned yet. But have a look at Borrowmydoggy. It might be possible to build up a relationship/ trust with someone who is available to walk your dog during the day, or him spending a day or two with them whilst you are working.
Besides him being left alone for too long, they’ll be absolutely fine. Never as high expectations from our pets than what there is from fellow humans. :)
Hope you are ok.

ThinWomansBrain · 23/07/2023 14:40

& look at zooplus for good quality food at low prices - mine loves a grain free one called Wild Freedom that's v economical if you buy the large cans

AuntieJoyce · 23/07/2023 14:41

NotBotheredAnymore · 23/07/2023 14:12

I have only one favour to ask. If you are out for a long time make sure your cats have places of safety thoughout your flat. Just because they all get along right now doesn't mean it will continue once boredom and a smaller area start to be the norm.

This is a really good point. My two cats got on fine until I had to rent somewhere smaller for 6 months in between houses. It got very fraught between the cats and one of them was very unhappy and barely went out.

Now I am in my long-term home, which is bigger, she is much happier again

NoTouch · 23/07/2023 14:41

4 is still a young dog. If his future is the spend 5 days a week home alone for full working days for the next 8-10 or more years I would seriously consider if he could have a fuller life somewhere else.

Tbh while you will find it hard, however much we think we are ours dogs world he'll quickly get over you and love the next person who treats him well. Their lives are so short he deserves better than long days alone and bored.

The cats will be fine.

Didiplanthis · 23/07/2023 14:43

I've got to go back to a different job which means 3 days a week there will be no one at home 8-4.. one day I can afford day care, the other 2 I'm arranging someone to come in to let them out and play for a bit. One of mine is already a rescue and this is FAR better for him than being rehomed again. If I couldn't I still think he would be better with us and at home 8-4 ( he has our other dog as company ) then being rehomed. I've got a camera set up. He never barks or cries, he just sleeps when we are out. I guess it might be different if he was distressed though.

Original poster
bakingtouch · 23/07/2023 14:47

Ah sounds so sad when you say 5 days alone for the rest of his life Sad

The cats have about 1/3 the living room as like a playpen, they obviously can jump in and out but the dog can't. In there is a giant cat tree, 2 litter boxes and their food (the opposite end) so they have space away from him if they need and can obviously get all their basic needs without him being involved.

I work 9-4, I've been looking at borrow by doggy and was very keen to try it but then read some posts on here about people saying they never would and would only pay a professional... I'm sure my mum would stay for tea and a biscuit, if she wasn't too busy.

OP posts:
OrangeKettle · 23/07/2023 14:48

We switched from Butternut to Aldi. My dog prefers it (the sachets in jelly, fwiw).

If you happen to live in Hertfordshire and by some amazing coincidence near me, I’d help!

ConnieLinggusThe69th · 23/07/2023 14:52

OP have you got to know any of your neighbours particularly? I'm disabled and we can't have a dog bc I wouldn't manage it but I would be overjoyed if I had a neighbour out to work who said "would you like to watch my doggo, not walk him just give some company and let him potty"

Ofc not everyone would want this arrangement but there may be some elderly/lonely/disabled folk who can't quite manage having one but could manage befriending one near you

Takacupokindnessyet · 23/07/2023 14:53

I think you just need to try and see how it goes, some animals will cope fine with the change, others might fret but you won't know until you try.

Doidontimmm · 23/07/2023 14:57

I had amazing success with borrow my dog, met some lovely people who loved my dog! Just stopped due to covid and us now working from home. I still keep in touch with one lady though who ended up getting her own dog.

PimpMyFridge · 23/07/2023 15:00

The main thing is your pet is loved, fed and safe. If being left for long periods is too stressful you'll see that in the behaviour and should respond accordingly, but you're walking before after and dog has toilet breaks and if that's the best you can do, so be it.
There are homeless people living rough on the streets with their dogs so this isn't the worst life a pet can have, no one is suggesting their pets are taken off them.
I'm sure it's s harder adjustment for you than them.

thecatneuterer · 23/07/2023 15:11

I'm with a rescue. There is no space in any rescues and virtually no homes available. Last week we took in around 50 desperate cases - pregnant cats left behind after tenants moved out - newborn kittens in a dustbin - that kind of thing - and we homed two. TWO!! And last week we also had to say no to another 100 or so calls for help with unwanted and stray cats.

So yes, any home with loving owners is preferable to none at all. And if by some miracle you did manage to get them rehomed, well then you'd be taking a home that other homeless cats could have had.

Keep them.

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