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Original poster

To not rehome my pets despite lowering their quality of life?

119 replies

bakingtouch · 23/07/2023 13:53

I need this thread as a very clear wake up call if that's what's needed.

I've just broken up with my long term partner and have moved out of the house we were renting. I've recently moved into a ground floor flat that has accepted my pets. It has a garden bit out the front albeit concrete but my dog has no issue toileting there (obvs I clean)

They're all adjusting well (2 cats and a dog) and they're honestly my world, especially after the breakup, I'd feel so isolated without them. They're 7, 5 and 4. The dog is 4.

I'm having to go back to in office work full time (was at home 2/5 days before). On those 3 days my dog would get picked up by a service that offered a 2 hour play date service and dropped home again, with other dogs, but the best I can do now is have my mum pop in to let him out to the toilet. They've always been on KatKin and Butternut Box but this is massively going to have to change, my outgoings on my own are simply exceeding my salary so I'm having to cut back and they're going to need to go on a cheap food.

I do feel awful overall. They're life is going to be very different, but they're going to be happier with me still, right? Sad or is it best to give them up to someone who can offer them a lot more?

OP posts:
thecatneuterer · 23/07/2023 15:13

Oh, and I'm sure dog charities are having the same issues

rickandmorts · 23/07/2023 15:16

I wouldn't rehome under these circumstances. Plus rescues are full to bursting. Everyone will adjust to the new schedule and you don't need to spend £££ on food which is often just fancy marketing.

Babyroobs · 23/07/2023 15:16

thecatneuterer · 23/07/2023 15:11

I'm with a rescue. There is no space in any rescues and virtually no homes available. Last week we took in around 50 desperate cases - pregnant cats left behind after tenants moved out - newborn kittens in a dustbin - that kind of thing - and we homed two. TWO!! And last week we also had to say no to another 100 or so calls for help with unwanted and stray cats.

So yes, any home with loving owners is preferable to none at all. And if by some miracle you did manage to get them rehomed, well then you'd be taking a home that other homeless cats could have had.

Keep them.

This is heartbreaking.

Ladyj84 · 23/07/2023 15:18

Don't worry about what there fed all mine over the years have happily survived on cheapy food

Chlora · 23/07/2023 15:22

As well as our responsibility to our pets, I think we have a responsibility not to re-home lightly and I think you're doing the right thing.

Re the cat equipment, they also need space away from each other so access to hiding spots in different corners of the house would be valuable if you can.

minipie · 23/07/2023 15:26

Definitely look at borrowmydoggy, a friend uses it with no issues, her dog loves having a wider social circle. Especially available for Mondays and Fridays when many people wfh. or weekends but guess you are home then anyway.

Presumably your dog gets lots of exercise and they all get lots of love and attention when you are home

Can you look into a cat flap for the cats - I guess you can’t install a permanent one but think there may be some you can install in a gap in an opened window. Not sure how secure these are though.

Any chance you could move to a different job which lets you wfh sometimes? Or any chance of working Saturday instead of say Wednesdays so the pets get a mid week day with you.

Strawberrypicnic · 23/07/2023 15:40

The website allaboutdogfood is really good for helping you understand the nutritional value of different brands. You'll be able to choose the 'best' food you can afford to give him on your new budget. That might help you feel a bit less guilty! I also think you should keep them btw :)

JamSandle · 23/07/2023 15:47

KEEP THEM - ABSOLUTELY KEEP THEM!

Can you afford a dog sitter or walker on any days?

Teajenny7 · 23/07/2023 15:57

Don't worry about expensive foods. Our dog is 15 and has never had fancy foods. He loves fruit, raw veg and human left overs. Loves chewing on a carrot. Needs must with their day. Hopefully, your Mum could have a cuppa and sit there for a while. I would try borrow my doggie or get to know your neighbours. A lady I know actually advertised in a group looking to borrow a dog as she needed to make sure she got a break from wfh before she went mad! We all help each other out with doggy care etc. Especially, if you can recipicate on a weekend.
Good walk or run in the morning. Good for you too. Mum at lunch, a decent walk after work and a lovely evening walk before bed. Good for the dog and you.
I use to cycle home at lunch just to let the dog in the out. He would help me eat my lunch!
Obviously, a not a possibility for everyone.
Your pets are lucky to have such a caring owner. You need them too
.

ThisIsACoolUserName · 23/07/2023 16:01

Can you walk the dog before you leave the house, and then leave a radio on for them?
Can your mum spend 20 minutes with them, giving them a bit of fuss, when she pops by to let them out?
Could you still pay for 1 or 2 of the play date sessions a week?

Mumtothreegirlies · 23/07/2023 16:05

I would keep them because it sounds like you love them very much.
did you know sylvester Stallone sold his dog just before his rocky script got bought because he was in masses of debt, so when his script got bought he went and bought back his dog and actually had him appear in the movie.
you never know what’s round the corner and animals don’t care as long as they’re loved and fed.

carly2803 · 23/07/2023 16:35

you know those dogs who sit in kennels 23/7 and have NO owner? those are the ones feel sorry for. They get a little walk and hope they get adopted

yours are loved, warm and happy. Do not feel bad please.

Keep your animals, they keep us sain

WhatADrabCarpet · 23/07/2023 16:36

Your mental well-being is already at a low ebb.
Losing your beloved pets would be a disaster for you.

I feel sure that there are people local to you who could help out for not too much money. Keep an eye out on your local facebook page and look in the local advertising pamphlets that drop through your door.
Quite often, childminders who do before/after school care would like to pick up some extra money during the day for jobs like dog walking/minding.

I also feel sure that your mum would be willing if she knows how much your pets mean to you right now.

And don't worry about their food. Your pets just need feeding and they'll be fine with whatever you provide for them.

They love you and need you. They'll accept whatever.

Yetisrus29 · 23/07/2023 16:41

Do you have a friend or neighbour that could walk the dog for you during the day? Even a sensible child over the summer? I work from home, I would happily walk someone's dog at lunchtime.

As for the food, they'll get used to not having the expensive stuff.

Don't get rid of them, you'll regret it.

squirelnutkin11 · 23/07/2023 16:41

Sorry op l think it is cruel to keep a dog alone in one room/space from 9-4 5 days a week.
I think you have to find someone to walk him for at least an hour in the middle of the work day.
Dogs are active social creatures and will not thrive like that.
borrow my dog is good option and depending on his/her breed maybe a local elderly person could take him to their house for a few hours with a little garden ball throwing....get on Facebook and do thorough research.

Please don't just shut your door and go off to work.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 23/07/2023 16:43

They need love and consistency not luxury xx
Keep those babies close you need them as much as they need you xx

FeigningConcern · 23/07/2023 20:06

Cats will be absolutely fine. Can they get out during the day?

I would be concerned about the dog though. That's a long day to leave a dog 5 days a week.

NoTouch · 23/07/2023 20:29

minipie · 23/07/2023 15:28

Possible cat flap alternative here

I think that would likely invalidate your household insurance if you had a break in when out.

OK for detering opportunitist theft when you are in the house, but not if leaving house unattended.

Brk · 23/07/2023 20:34

If you rehome them it’s unlikely that they’ll find an owner who cares for them the way you do. If you rehomed through a shelter there’s a real risk they’d end up euthanised, particularly the older cat. People want kittens and there are zillions of kittens available, at age 7 that cat is already elderly.

Cats are fine if left. Perhaps consider a catflap so they can exercise and enjoy fresh air when you’re away, but there is no reason to rehome the cats and several reasons not to.

The dog I don’t know, as I know nothing of dogs 😬 I suspect much depends on her breed and temperament.

musicforthesoul · 23/07/2023 20:50

They'll be fine. Shelters are full and there's no way you'd be able to guarantee the circumstances they'd be adopted into even if you did manage to find a shelter with space.

The cats will be fine with everything you said, no issues there.

The food doesn't matter as long as you can afford to buy enough, certainly not a reason to consider rehoming. Just get the best quality one possible that fits your budget.

Thousands of dogs up and down the country are home alone all day while owners are at work. The majority are fine. its not ideal but its better than being in a shelter. If your dog struggles then you might have to try to find alternatives but for the moment what you've planned sounds OK. See how you get on.

Do consider vet bills as well and make sure you have a plan for that.

primoseyellow · 23/07/2023 20:54

Keep them, they don't care if their food changes, can you use a pet food bank?
They just want to be with you, they will settle in a new place and routine and that will be normal for them because you will be the constant.

fifteenfifty · 23/07/2023 21:00

I am so glad this thread will be bringing you comfort, you clearly love your pets and are a responsible owner. I agree so much with the person who mentioned lonely elderly people nearby. This could be such a positive two-way improvement if you could find someone who would enjoy some doggie company.

Littlejacksmummy · 23/07/2023 21:01

Your pets are so so lucky to have such a considerate owner that loves them so much. Many pets are not so lucky.

Yetisrus29 · 23/07/2023 21:05

Brk · 23/07/2023 20:34

If you rehome them it’s unlikely that they’ll find an owner who cares for them the way you do. If you rehomed through a shelter there’s a real risk they’d end up euthanised, particularly the older cat. People want kittens and there are zillions of kittens available, at age 7 that cat is already elderly.

Cats are fine if left. Perhaps consider a catflap so they can exercise and enjoy fresh air when you’re away, but there is no reason to rehome the cats and several reasons not to.

The dog I don’t know, as I know nothing of dogs 😬 I suspect much depends on her breed and temperament.

7 is not old and a healthy cat would not be put down. Stop scaremongering fgs.

Older cats may take slightly longer to rehome than a kitten but there are many people (me included) who go for older cats.