Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's already started

251 replies

Haruka · 23/07/2023 09:23

Oh my.

Day two of the official start to the holiday. Already, I have heard two sets of parents utter the exact same thing to their poor kids. "Can't wait until you're back at school". One this morning, another dad on Friday at pick-up, the literal beginning of the holidays, saying he'll celebrate the day they go back in September.

Yes, I'm being a massive judgey-pants, but the holidays are 6 weeks long and some people can't even stand to be around their kids for a day, let alone the weeks yet to come?

I don't know, it makes me so sad. And while everyone gets annoyed by their kids at some point, you don't openly tell them you wish they were somewhere else?

Pretty sure IANBU, but it's every holiday I hear this kind of thing and every time it gets me.

OP posts:
orangeleavesinautumn · 23/07/2023 10:15

Malarandras · 23/07/2023 10:13

There’s a lot of unpleasant judgement from some people in this thread. The rest of life does not stop because it is the summer holidays. All the issue people deal with the rest of the year are still there, only now the kids do not have their normal routine. For some that is incredibly stressful. Some people need to get off their high horse and let other people be.

none of that excuses telling your kids that they are an unwanted burden

Whiskeypowers · 23/07/2023 10:15

Breakoutbertha · 23/07/2023 09:39

I'm not superior at all. But I value my kids health and fitness. I don't want them sat on their bums being fed sugary hot chocolate in the summer.
It's pure laziness.

Do you have any idea how superior you sound?
Do you think all parents who do this just can’t be arsed? Did you ever consider that some of them are trying to finish their work, tidy the house, deal with other things and don’t have the headspace and energy to go mountain biking or bivouacking with their kids. Or possibly the equipment or money or another parent to share all the load?

so condemning

Willmafrockfit · 23/07/2023 10:16

yanbu

Almondcakeismyfav · 23/07/2023 10:17

I loved the school holidays with mine when they were little - now they are a sweaty difficult over excited but tired pair of young teens who currently aren’t really getting on … I’ve already had a jolly good nag .. and hope that they remember quite quickly that they do get on and start being a bit nicer .. don’t claim to be a perfect parent and huge sympathy to anyone else thinking it’s going to be a tough 6 weeks

Willmafrockfit · 23/07/2023 10:17

i hate to hear the way some people talk about their kids in their earshot - dont they realise how damaging they are being.

Changington · 23/07/2023 10:19

Walking home from school on his last day of year 1, my 6 year old said to me he doesn't want 6 weeks of holidays, he wants to go back to school next week please.
I have days out planned with me and with his grandmothers, childcare arranged, a week at the seaside booked... but he would rather be at school. 🤣

Herejusttocomment · 23/07/2023 10:20

orangeleavesinautumn · 23/07/2023 10:15

none of that excuses telling your kids that they are an unwanted burden

Show quote history

This

hopeishere · 23/07/2023 10:21

If you're working full time and utterly stressed about getting and paying for holiday camps to cover (nine weeks in Northern Ireland!!) then yeah it's not done big highlight. It's tough.

MysteryBelle · 23/07/2023 10:21

Some parents would quite like the school or whoever to have their children all year long. Maybe 24/7.

DrySherry · 23/07/2023 10:22

Tongue in cheek remarks mostly I suspect. That's how it went in our house anyway - and was deliberately designed to reduce sensitivity and entitlement. Snowflakes are too common these days.
The boot is on the other foot nowadays with remarks like "can't wait to get you tucked away into a nursing home" 😂

Brefugee · 23/07/2023 10:23

Haruka · 23/07/2023 09:35

Single parent here, too, and one of mine is quite young. I get that it can be a challenge to juggle it all and be responsible for it all, but at the end of the day we chose to have kids, and I hope most chose them for a good reason.

I can't afford a holiday away. Weather here is shite. But I make the best out of it, my kids are happy and will be well occupied.

It's not a chore.

it's not a chore for you.

For others? it is. You are a judgy pants and own it so there is at least that.

But if you're a teacher you might want to work on understanding how all families are different and how their home-lives impact the children.

Lefteyetwitch · 23/07/2023 10:24

Siameasy · 23/07/2023 09:29

I am probably saying it out loud for real on the last week and as a joke on the first

How about you just don't?
I'm assuming you teach your kids to speak kindly? Not to swear? Overall control what leaves their mouth?

How about we all hold ourselves to the same standard?

WhiteFire · 23/07/2023 10:27

The fact that posters are talking about 6 wonderful weeks spending time as a family just shows how out of touch they are with reality. I am working everyday bar a week's holiday, and we have now been told we can't book anymore annual leave.

Breakoutbertha · 23/07/2023 10:28

This thread has really hit a nerve with certain posters.

The poster who told me to fuck off. If you are an adult and speak to others like that on a public forum, well I dread to think how you speak to your children behind closed doors

Bbq1 · 23/07/2023 10:29

Haruka · 23/07/2023 09:23

Oh my.

Day two of the official start to the holiday. Already, I have heard two sets of parents utter the exact same thing to their poor kids. "Can't wait until you're back at school". One this morning, another dad on Friday at pick-up, the literal beginning of the holidays, saying he'll celebrate the day they go back in September.

Yes, I'm being a massive judgey-pants, but the holidays are 6 weeks long and some people can't even stand to be around their kids for a day, let alone the weeks yet to come?

I don't know, it makes me so sad. And while everyone gets annoyed by their kids at some point, you don't openly tell them you wish they were somewhere else?

Pretty sure IANBU, but it's every holiday I hear this kind of thing and every time it gets me.

That's saf. I loved every moment of the summer holidays and all other school holidays. My mum was the same. I looked forward to spending time with my son. I love him so i want to spend time with him. He's 17 now and he does his own thing but we're close and he will still suggest we go to the cinema or grab lunch together. I still love spending time with him - when he's up! Guess the parents who don't want to be with their kids now will be wondering why they rarely see their teens/adult children...

Whiterose23 · 23/07/2023 10:31

I love my children and in general love the school holidays.
However we’re on holiday, it’s raining and they have decided that this morning they hate each other!
I’m sure order will be resumed soon (otherwise I’m opening a bottle of wine as soon as it’s an acceptable time)

Ponoka7 · 23/07/2023 10:32

Breakoutbertha · 23/07/2023 09:30

Couldn't agree more. We are an active family and plan sports for the summer.
The snuggly autumn thread gave me the rage yesterday. Who wants to snuggle their kids under blankets and give them a screen to look at.
Terrible lazy parenting.

Or cash poor. Where we live a lot of parks are becoming unusable because of the behaviour of teens. Personally I think that public transport should be free for primary age children, otherwise the chance to be active, except for walking, isn't feasible.
I agree though that certain things shouldn't be said in front of them.

unicornhair · 23/07/2023 10:33

I remember the stress of managing childcare when I was working. Otherwise we had lonely times off when DD was in primary.
Now she is in secondary we struggle for activities and she hates the lack of routine of no school.

I used to see parents from DDs primary on the bus and they would be swearing and grumpy with their children. I imagine they had little money and also few skills in occupying them. I used to spend weeks finding free/cheap activities and planning days out to keep us occupied.

decaffonlypls · 23/07/2023 10:33

orangeleavesinautumn · 23/07/2023 09:25

YANBU Summer holidays should be the highlight of the family year - so much time together -surely that is why people have children in the first place.

Sarcasm yeah???

MollysBrolly · 23/07/2023 10:34

Usually mid Aug when I'd watched the 50th millionth episode of Pokémon.

Herejusttocomment · 23/07/2023 10:34

Ponoka7 · 23/07/2023 10:32

Or cash poor. Where we live a lot of parks are becoming unusable because of the behaviour of teens. Personally I think that public transport should be free for primary age children, otherwise the chance to be active, except for walking, isn't feasible.
I agree though that certain things shouldn't be said in front of them.

Show quote history

Check with your local bus company. In Northumberland children under 11 are free during the school holidays when accompanied by a paying adult and I'm sure in Newcastle there are similar schemes, I know the Metro was free for my DD last year.

PurpleWisteria1 · 23/07/2023 10:34

Haruka · 23/07/2023 09:35

Single parent here, too, and one of mine is quite young. I get that it can be a challenge to juggle it all and be responsible for it all, but at the end of the day we chose to have kids, and I hope most chose them for a good reason.

I can't afford a holiday away. Weather here is shite. But I make the best out of it, my kids are happy and will be well occupied.

It's not a chore.

I would never have told my kids that I found things so hard but..
I had 3 kids under 3. DH works in city long hours so just me all week pretty much during the week.
When they were little (I.e 4, 2 and 2 or 5,3 and 3) or ) it was extremely hard. I was in tears many nights and wondering how I was going to survive another day. This was mainly because holiday from nursery / school, and everywhere was so crazy busy that we were so limited where we could go where I could still see them all properly.
At the end of whichever holiday it was people would ask, have a nice summer / Easter / half term? I would be thinking not really it was hellish hard, but I would smile and say yes. Then when they were gone I would be silently in tears- how come everyone else had such a lovely time? Why is everyone else looking forward to the next break when I am struggling through every single day?
Now they are older it’s better- I look forward to it now but it’s still really hard at times but at least they can run and play safely in a park in the holidays without me worrying.

LetMeGoogleThat · 23/07/2023 10:35

How about you concentrate on parenting your kids, your way and leave others to do the same without starting a judgy thread on here. What are you hoping for? People to agree with you just to confirm your superior attitude? You have no idea of the context of that discussion and should keep your nose out.

Herejusttocomment · 23/07/2023 10:36

LetMeGoogleThat · 23/07/2023 10:35

How about you concentrate on parenting your kids, your way and leave others to do the same without starting a judgy thread on here. What are you hoping for? People to agree with you just to confirm your superior attitude? You have no idea of the context of that discussion and should keep your nose out.

What possible context could justify telling their child at school pickup that they can't wait for September? 😔

Rosebel · 23/07/2023 10:37

I loved the summer holidays when my oldest two were younger. I'm hoping to go term time at work next summer so that I can be with DS in the holidays.
My mum said she missed us when the holidays ended and the summer holidays were her favourite when we were at school. But even then she said parents would be saying I'm so glad they're back at school aren't you? And my mum would say no, not really and get strange looks.
If you don't want to spend time with your kids, and let's face it it's only been a weekend so far, then why bother having them?

Swipe left for the next trending thread