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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was done on purpose

160 replies

Strawberryandlime9 · 22/07/2023 00:29

Not taken it to heart too much but thought I would post for opinions.

I collected my DD from pre school just after 1pm and asked her ‘did you have anything nice for dinner’. The mum next to me (who was quite posh) said to her DC straight after ‘what did you have for lunch today darling’ and then looked at us. Aibu to think she was thinking that I am common.

OP posts:
TequilaNights · 22/07/2023 00:30

No, you most likely just prompted her to ask her dc the same thing.

gwenneh · 22/07/2023 00:31

YABU. It's unlikely anyone was even thinking of you in that moment, let alone trying to show you up over what you said to your pre-schooler.

PollyPut · 22/07/2023 00:31

I would guess the other mum was just trying to find out what her child ate, like you had done. Think you're reading too much into it

Enko · 22/07/2023 00:33

I doubt she even registered you were calling it dinner and she lunch.

Pinkitydrinkity · 22/07/2023 00:33

YABU, people have different names for their midday and evening meals, it’s not a class thing.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 22/07/2023 00:34

Well presumably you're happy to be seen as common so what is the problem? You know that "lunch" is what the posh people call it, yet you continue to call it "dinner", choosing what is considered the common term, so just own it. Or change how you refer to it.

TyneTeas · 22/07/2023 00:35

What you asked was perfectly fine and normal

Lunch v dinner is a thing for some people, so ignore it

A minor observation is yours was a closed question, yes or no, where asking what they had to eat may prompt more of a response, depending on age/vocab etc

HeddaGarbled · 22/07/2023 00:41

Massive chip on your shoulder there. Perhaps she wanted to make friends when she looked at you. You could have had a nice conversation, starting with the quality of the school catering, organised a play date for the children and they or you would have become life-long friends, enriching all your lives. But now you’ll never know 😢

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 22/07/2023 01:05

Next time ask your DD "What did you have for luncheon?" Wink
Or gp full on Jilly Cooper and ask the other Mother round to yours "nothing fancy , just kitchen sups" ( I know , I have no idea what kitchen sups is either ! )

Tittyfilarious81 · 22/07/2023 01:35

Yabu to give a fuck even if it was done on purpose.

RicherThanYews · 22/07/2023 01:49

Nah don't sweat it. I have been labelled rough, common and chav but I use lunch then dinner and my boy calls me mummy, it isn't a class thing.

sheworemellowyellow · 22/07/2023 01:52

Disagree. Totally fine on purpose. People can be like that.

sheworemellowyellow · 22/07/2023 01:52

Totally done

WandaWonder · 22/07/2023 01:57

No I do don't think the person had so little in their life that thry have made you a 'thing' to think this to me shows you have issues you need to deal with

Also to think this means you think these things about others?

IneedcoffeeinanIV · 22/07/2023 02:20

It might have just prompted her but I get why you've taken it the wrong way as I'd probably overthink it too. My DP says lunch and I say dinner and he's definitely not looking down on me for it, it's just what he grew up saying. I wouldn't think too much into it

SophieHope7 · 22/07/2023 02:24

Smile and move on. Life is too short.

VisionsOfSplendour · 22/07/2023 02:26

Woman says lunch and looks at you?

Are you prone to over thinking?

Threenow · 22/07/2023 02:32

Oh for goodness sake .........

LordSalem · 22/07/2023 02:35

RicherThanYews · 22/07/2023 01:49

Nah don't sweat it. I have been labelled rough, common and chav but I use lunch then dinner and my boy calls me mummy, it isn't a class thing.

How have you been labelled as those things?

SD1978 · 22/07/2023 03:22

I don't think lunch/ dinner is an indicator of class- it's regional isnt it? Scottish here and it always lunch and dinner- dinner is tea time. Although I also don't care that others call mid day meal dinner- assume it's where you're brought up, more than the MN class obsession.

Hohumitsreallyallthereis · 22/07/2023 04:05

What on earth am I reading? Do you always overthink things?

sashh · 22/07/2023 04:05

I think it depends where you are, if you are in Yorkshire she's a snob, if you are in Surrey she's normal.

MichelleScarn · 22/07/2023 04:17

gwenneh · 22/07/2023 00:31

YABU. It's unlikely anyone was even thinking of you in that moment, let alone trying to show you up over what you said to your pre-schooler.

No no of course not, this other mum has nothing else going on that at the madness of pick up time, she has all her focus on what another parent calls a meal time! 🤨

SaysRelaaxxx · 22/07/2023 04:40

I use dinner and lunch interchangeably, also use both dinner and tea for evening meal. Think I’m class confused

Coolhwip · 22/07/2023 04:41

SophieHope7 · 22/07/2023 02:24

Smile and move on. Life is too short.

Why should she smile?

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