Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was done on purpose

160 replies

Strawberryandlime9 · 22/07/2023 00:29

Not taken it to heart too much but thought I would post for opinions.

I collected my DD from pre school just after 1pm and asked her ‘did you have anything nice for dinner’. The mum next to me (who was quite posh) said to her DC straight after ‘what did you have for lunch today darling’ and then looked at us. Aibu to think she was thinking that I am common.

OP posts:
PolaDeVeboise · 22/07/2023 07:56

I think this says more about your inferiority complex than anything else...

chrystlha · 22/07/2023 08:05

I'd rather be you than her.

chrystlha · 22/07/2023 08:05

This is a bit like gaslighting by committee.

midgetastic · 22/07/2023 08:07

Scotland is also quite big and since it has at least 4 different languages I would expect sone regional variation

And yes tea being the normal evening meal here too

Lunch for well lunchtime

Supper at supper time ( late evening )

Dinner for Sundays

Notmineagain · 22/07/2023 08:07

PolaDeVeboise · 22/07/2023 07:56

I think this says more about your inferiority complex than anything else...

This. Op you sound extremely insecure.

Clarinet1 · 22/07/2023 08:10

My understanding is that dinner is the
main meal of the day regardless of what time you eat it! Therefore at school it may be the
main meal for a lot of children, hence “School dinners” and “Dinner ladies”. I would tend I also refer to the middle-of-the-day meal as “lunch” and the evening meal as “supper”. “Tea” is scones and cake at about 4pm when I indulge! However I totally accept that other people may use these terms differently!
”Kitchen supper” is a term people use when they are either from a very grand background and they mean they are not changing clothes/having more than two courses and everything that would go with full-on entertaining and probably actually eating in the kitchen or, by extension, more average people might use it when the invite you round casually and, similarly, are not planning to lay on a full dinner party!

VisionsOfSplendour · 22/07/2023 08:11

Jujubes5 · 22/07/2023 07:02

I would say she was in a bad mood and just doing something diggy because of that. Not in a bad mood at you btw. Just in a bad mood.
But I over read people's behaviour.

How are you coming to that conclusion, is there some kind of rule that if you're the second person to ask about your child's midday food consumption you're in bad mood?

This thread is ridiculous

MichelleScarn · 22/07/2023 08:12

chrystlha · 22/07/2023 08:05

I'd rather be you than her.

Because she uses the term lunch?

poshme · 22/07/2023 08:15

Oh dear it's a good thing several posters don't know me.

We have breakfast, lunch & supper.
Unless (rarely) we have dinner- which would be a dinner party, in posh clothes in the evening.

High tea would be something my grandmother offered at about 4pm (cakes and sandwiches and tea in cups with saucers) but tea is just a drink.

But I'm posh.

(Though DS has breakfast, mid morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack of toast or pasta, supper, then evening snack of more toast or noodles or rice, then tea with another snack. When he moves out my shopping bill will dramatically reduce)

OP if I'd been the other woman, I'd have said lunch because that's the word we use- and perhaps hoping that by asking a similar question you and I might find something to chat about, and maybe be friends. I was very lonely when one of my kids started school. I would not have noticed what you called the meal- the smile from me would be my attempt at being friendly.

Ohyousillydivvy · 22/07/2023 08:18

Yes she did it on purpose? Next time ask your dd what she would like for tea as loudly as possible.

TheModHatter · 22/07/2023 08:23

I say lunch (used to say dinner but migrated south and picked up the vocab), but wouldn’t notice anyone saying ‘dinner’.

Unless she loudly emphasised the word and stared at you on the actual word, surely she was just asking her kid the same question you did? Dinner is hardly a controversial term.

stopbeingacunt · 22/07/2023 08:24

DontMakeMeShushYou · 22/07/2023 00:34

Well presumably you're happy to be seen as common so what is the problem? You know that "lunch" is what the posh people call it, yet you continue to call it "dinner", choosing what is considered the common term, so just own it. Or change how you refer to it.

Bet she'd rather be common as, crap than be a masty classist like you. Your post has quite a nasty undertone, but you already knew that, didnt you? What you call your midday meal is, nowaday a regional office variation, not a them and us situation. Love you! Kate the kommon lunt x

stopbeingacunt · 22/07/2023 08:25

Sorry for the typos

Twyford · 22/07/2023 08:30

Do you normally look for reasons to take offence? She just asked what her child had had to eat using the term that came naturally to her.

Tarantella6 · 22/07/2023 08:30

DH is Northern and in this house we have lunch and tea. Any discussion of dinner just causes confusion so we avoid it!

wutheringkites · 22/07/2023 08:31

This is regional. I know plenty of 'posh' Northern people who call the midday meal dinner and I'm a working class SE person who calls it lunch.

LakieLady · 22/07/2023 08:34

KingKhazi · 22/07/2023 06:40

Since when was lunch posh? I'm as common as much and its breakfast lunch and tea here. Never called it dinner.

Same here.

Do people who call it "dinner" have a "dinner break" when at work, or a "lunch break"? And take a "packed dinner" if there's nowhere nearby to get something to eat in the middle of the day?

I also wonder if there are regional differences. I'm in the SE, and I think it's normal to call the midday meal "lunch" here.

beeswaxinc · 22/07/2023 08:34

DontMakeMeShushYou · 22/07/2023 00:34

Well presumably you're happy to be seen as common so what is the problem? You know that "lunch" is what the posh people call it, yet you continue to call it "dinner", choosing what is considered the common term, so just own it. Or change how you refer to it.

What on earth!

I am certainly not posh and it's lunch down here to both my posh M C friends and all the kids from my council estate primary school in the 90s/early noughties.

Really think it's more location based than how posh you are...

BrioNotBiro · 22/07/2023 08:35

Nah, if she were really posh she'd have said 'luncheon'!

stopbeingacunt · 22/07/2023 08:35

If you book an afternoon tea it will be sandwiches and cake not a cooked meal.

That's because it's afternoon tea, traditionally served with a cuppa, I the afternoon, not at teatime which is a mealtime, when you have a hot meal. 🤔

Ladybug14 · 22/07/2023 08:36

YOU think you're common

If you don't like that, change

randomsabreuse · 22/07/2023 08:37

At pick up any query about lunch/dinner is based on observation - "Did you like the pasta?/stew/soup" and "did your shirt like it too?". It's an obvious pick up question, especially if DC is wearing lunch! I'm not actually sure which one I'd use, the dinner ladies used to serve lunch at lunchtime so I wouldn't judge either!

BackAgainstWall · 22/07/2023 08:37

The way you explain the situation/actions, yes I do
think she was probably trying to ‘educate’ you.

Don’t worry about the way you phrased it because it was nicer/heart felt compared to the way she phrased it, which was more of a standard obligatory question.

I always remember my lovely FIL saying they would be over at dinner time.

He definitely thought I was being funny because I genuinely didn’t know which time he meant.
You can of course guess where I grew up it was in fact referred to as lunchtime!

Ladybug14 · 22/07/2023 08:39

"""We have breakfast, lunch & supper.
Unless (rarely) we have dinner- which would be a dinner party, in posh clothes in the evening.

High tea would be something my grandmother offered at about 4pm (cakes and sandwiches and tea in cups with saucers) but tea is just a drink. """

This is exactly what my ILs say and do

The silver always comes out for high tea 😳

Littlewhitecat · 22/07/2023 08:39

This thread is crazy. I say lunch but i also understand some people say dinner because people are different. Are people saying if i am with someone who says dinner I have to change what I normally say (and effectively patronise them) so they don't think I'm calling them common? I also say cob for a filled roll but DH says barm, my boss says mam but I say mum and another colleague who is from Birmingham says mom. Should we all be changing what we say if the other person says their offending word first?

Swipe left for the next trending thread