To think this was done on purpose

[Strawberryandlime9]

Not taken it to heart too much but thought I would post for opinions.

I collected my DD from pre school just after 1pm and asked her ‘did you have anything nice for dinner’. The mum next to me (who was quite posh) said to her DC straight after ‘what did you have for lunch today darling’ and then looked at us. Aibu to think she was thinking that I am common.

If you felt it was purposeful, it was. Communication is hugely non verbal, so that feeling you have is 100% reliable.

But her condescending behaviour is on her not you. At least your question asked if your DC enjoyed her food. Hers didn't care.

Are you from the north east? I worked in Darlington for a while and was surprised at how many people call lunch dinner and their mother "me Mam".

How bizarre - why would anyone say dinner for lunchtime in the first place?!

I think only you can say OP as it depends on her manner, how she said it, her facial expression etc. it could have easily been intentional but that depends on what this woman is like generally. Some people would definitely do it purposefully. I’m in my 60s and from Yorkshire. School lunches are called dinner where I am. I’m going to ask my friends what they call/called it as most are originally from the South but their DC grew up here. At home it was breakfast, dinner and tea around 6pm when DF came home from work.

Yes. We have weirdness. Some people call the midday meal lunch, others call it dinner. Some call an evening meal dinner or supper.

You have dinner ladies serving lunches at lunchtime but no lunch ladies ever.

You can be invited for dinner or supper in the evening but if you are invited for lunch, it's in the day. Some people also call their evening meal 'tea' and they will eat that around six in the evening with coffee not tea.

If you book an afternoon tea it will be sandwiches and cake not a cooked meal.

If someone invites you for tea, it usually means a meal unless they say something like, "Do you fancy popping in for a cup of tea?"

You can only have coffee in the mornings and tea in the afternoon in some counties in England.

Definitely not class thing. We’re not posh but have always called it lunch time and dinner time in our house. My In laws are very well off and they say dinner and tea (which irritates our DC with ASD)

And this has really stuck in your head all day 🙄

Why do you think people care this much about you???

So a you smile and chat about the horrific thought of hordes of toddlers lunching together. Or speak and find her unfriendly and stop caring. Or next time ask what fucking grub she got to see how far you can push the reaction. A huffy move away is the aim.

I would have thought you were asking about her dinner the previous evening, if I had thought about it at all. I am not at all posh, but I cannot imagine referring to a meal at school at midday as dinner.

Yes, I think you're being extremely unreasonable. That's a crazy interpretation of the situation.

It's regional. I'm guessing she's from the south and you're Midlands or higher.

It's not bizarre. It seems to be quite a moveable term. I was brought up believing lunch is the midday meal and dinner is in the evening, but still said "school dinners" and "dinner ladies". Then I discovered that there are different usages in different parts of the country, and class differences, and the concept of "tea" that to my mind, if not a simple cup of the same, is a mid-afternoon mini-meal, sandwich/cake sort of job, but to some is what I'd call dinner... Confusing!

I'm normally quite pedantic (though not always correct with it!), but I don't actually think there is a "right" way to define lunch, dinner etc. The only thing that remains more or less fixed is breakfast being in the morning, - unless it's at a wedding - argh! And what about night workers? Is their breakfast also their dinner?

As for the OP being accused of being judgemental, she is describing someone being judgemental of her. The poshness is not a stick to beat the other woman with, it's an explanation of why it appeared the woman thought OP should be corrected. OP was there, she saw the look, it's almost certainly what was intended (making sure her daughter didn't take up such dreadful common speech!). And I think she was wrong. So there.

99.9% of people from the south east of England call the mid day meal lunch. It's a regional thing, not a class thing.

The dinner lady thing has always thrown me though. There's no denying lunch ladies don't exist!

Im in a location where it’s dinner for midday while i would say lunch. I do wind up my local friends if we are meeting for meals but I don’t look down on anyone using dinner or lunch for midday.

OP you are really overthinking and I honestly don’t think this person is that interested in you. You sound insecure and it might be worth looking for some therpy to control what could be anxiety.

Oh, and you can have a packed lunch that you would be expected to eat at midday but it can be handed to you bay a dinner lady. There's no such thing as a packed dinner unless it's a doggy bag. There's no such thing as a packed tea unless it's fish and chips and that's called a 'chippy tea'.

Breakfast is in the mornings but in reality, the first meal of the day is breakfast so you can have breakfast at lunchtime or dinner (or tea) time if it's the first thing you've eaten that day but you can't call it that. You can call it brunch if it's lunchtime but there's no such thing as brinner or brupper. If you used the term brinner or brupper, you would be carted off as a lunatic.

Or, you know, what several people have posted in far fewer words while I was typing that lot 😁

In many places in Ireland the content of the meal dictates whether you call the meal lunch or dinner!

For example on Sunday you go to the carvery and have a roast meat and veg meal, we’d called that dinner. If you had soup and a sandwich, that’s lunch. Even though both were eaten at the same time of day.

So you might hear an Irish person say that they had their dinner at lunchtime … just to add to the confusion.

Or one of the other 3 constituent countries of the UK, that also exist.

THIS!

I used to deliberately call lunch ''Dinner'' {after all, it was school dinners!} and Dad would get really cross.

Breakfast, dinner and tea - maximum Dad annoyance.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner - Dad happy.

''Supper'' mum uses that.

From my experience lunch/dinner is a regional thing rather than a posh/common thing.

... oh yes, supper, I'd forgotten that. I hate the word, couldn't really tell you why; I think because it should only be a light, late meal and too many people use it for what I call dinner. "Fish supper", the same number of syllables as "fish and chips", which is all it is, annoys me to a ridiculous degree. What I would absolutely not do, though, is correct someone else saying it. It's my personal prejudice, not a right/wrong choice.

That makes sense ''Dinner'' sounds like something substantial.

'Lunch' less so.

Love regional variations.

Radio 4 {I think} had a character on one of it's programmes from Scotland who used to say ''Ye'll have had yer Tea?'' if someone called round at tea time -meaning ''We don't want to feed you'' 🤣

I hate it too!...the sound, like someone smacking their lips.

Mum has only used it lately {past few years} since Dad died.

But she eats like a bird...Maybe the frugal amount is why she uses it.

That’s funny, because I’m in Scotland, and in my part of Scotland tea is a warm drink and doesn’t include food (except maybe a biscuit!)