To hate being told I look so young

[Walkingthrough]

Hear my out, I know this sounds like a boasting thread but it isn’t. I am constantly told I look early twenties. I feel it limits me. At work I’m treated like a young girl with no experience. As a mum I’m asked if I’m their sister. It makes me feel inadequate.

im mid thirties and just want to come across as mid thirties. I have a degree, job, kids (oldest is 12).

anyone relate?

when I buy wine which is much needed and anticipated and I get refused as I don’t have ID it just pisses me off.

You had your baby at 46?

I have a side parting and subtle highlights - still get people thinking I’m 20 years younger than I am! Never owned anything from Boden though…It’s just genetics.

Not in many workplaces & not if you want to have authority especially working with men.

I agree that being petite and young looking in a work place isn’t a positive. Trying to work your way up the career ladder can be hindered, people taking you seriously etc.

In nearly all other areas of life it’s a positive for sure apart from work

I managed it, but I worked on being assertive. It's difficult, but not impossible.

Same, it gets to a point where its just offensive because they're not looking at you. They're looking at some external facade. They're not really seeing you.
I ignore it in people who I don't interact with frequently but for those you do you need to make sure you have the confidence self assurance and assertiveness of your years and make sure its on display in everything you do: walk talk dress, everything

When I think of me and my peer group we all look better late 30s than we did as teens/20s, I don't get this obsession with youth.

Cheer up, it won't be long before you're given a senior's discount without being asked if you qualify.

As a parent, anyone with authority (doctors, nurses, school staff) has always spoken to the adultier adult right over me if my mum happened to be present. I’m 33 and DD is now 11. I’m short, skinny and baby faced.
The majority of replies you'll get will be sneering. Which probably smacks of jealousy on some level. That's the go to on here with threads like this.
It's no fucking joke though. It's demeaning, embarrassing and it makes you feel belittled. It eats away at you every time it happens.
We're all adults here, would the rest of you like to be spoken down to or treated like a child because of how you look? I'll guess not.

I think you’re very naive if you think older women have an easier time in the workplace and are more likely to be promoted/hired.

No, they don't necessarily. Misogyny applies all the time. But you're on the back foot in terms of credibility if you look younger.

This was interesting www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/age-discrimination-women_l_64ac0fe0e4b02fb0e6f9d516

Same here! I looked at pics of myself In my 20s and my face was very round, full of acne, it was before I had braces and honestly feel I look so much better now. However I wasn't short of male attention then and I do wonder if that is simply because I was very 'young' looking.

I have always looked my age and would be offended if people thought I looked much younger than I am. It's misogynistic.

I can definitely see why it would be annoying for you. People probably assume you have less maturity and experience than you do.

You might be best off working extra hard to identify a more mature clothing style, hairstyle etc in order to be taken seriously. It isn't fair that you should have to do that, but it's something which is in your control.

PS I'll tell you another thing you may not even realise is affecting you disproportionately: sexual harassment. The older you get (or rather, the older you appear), the more free of it you become. I never noticed how bad it was until I reached middle age and discovered that it disappeared. It was such a huge relief not to have to deal with that shit constantly.

And how grim is that 🤢 predatory men

Do you know what else is grim?

Finding that because you look young in your 20s, any man of the same age who is interested in you romantically is considered to be predatory.

Looking young can also easily stunt your dating options - and as a result your chances of starting a family.