To hate being told I look so young

[Walkingthrough]

Hear my out, I know this sounds like a boasting thread but it isn’t. I am constantly told I look early twenties. I feel it limits me. At work I’m treated like a young girl with no experience. As a mum I’m asked if I’m their sister. It makes me feel inadequate.

im mid thirties and just want to come across as mid thirties. I have a degree, job, kids (oldest is 12).

anyone relate?

when I buy wine which is much needed and anticipated and I get refused as I don’t have ID it just pisses me off.

Yes! I miss it a bit.

About a fortnight ago a bloke said "are you 18..." and I nearly gratefully went for my passport, then he said "...just about".

I get the feeling OP probably does, in reality, very much look her age. I took it at face value, but getting IDed for Calpol... 🤔

I forget how nasty some women on MN are until these kind of threads. It shouldn't be a surprise really, but somehow it always is. Exactly the types of people who treat younger/younger looking colleagues like shit in the workplace.

And classic MN response - woman has problem with how society perceives and treats her - obviously woman should change her appearance and 'quit ya moaning'. Silly woman.

Blah blah blah

Oh come on now most women in their 40,s and 50,s do not look.like they are teenagers regardless of how much they think they do !
Most women look.their age granted some look.a lot better for their age then others do ,but they still look their age those that think they look so much younger are frankly deluded .

I'm possibly one of the posters you're aiming this at and I'm younger than OP. She doesn't need to change her appearance, just employ basic common sense and take ID with her if she's constantly being denied essentials for looking ever so super duper youthful. 🤷‍♀️

Sympathies OP.

DD is mid-20s but is often mistaken for an under-18, or even an under-16. I don't think it does her any favours as it means some people don't take her seriously.

She is petite with a young face, but she could look older if she wanted by wearing more grown up clothes and getting a different hair cut, but I guess I'm more bothered by it than she is.

😂

I always get ID'd at 27, even when I have my two children with me.

A salesman came to my door yesterday and asked if my parents were home. Immediately I made the decision I wasn't interested in what he was selling. It felt patronising.

But I got ID'd in the Co-op and the man serving me said "wow you're almost the same age as me" and he looked at least 15 years older than I do, so I understand why sales assistants have to be cautious.

I sometimes fool myself that I look really young for my age until I see a photo or stand next to much younger colleagues and realise the sad truth 🤣.

I genuinely would love to look in my 20s, especially if I had the health of a 20-something (would be a bit weird as I have a 14 year old but would do it anyway in a heartbeat!). Will award the OP the world’s tiniest violin 🎻

@x2boys not everyone commenting on them thread are in their 40's and 50's. Why are you so easily dismissive of the women here giving examples of their own experiences?

@Gladreel 'ever so super duper youthful'. Honesty, have you read any of the comments from others explaining how they are treated? Including my own. Are you struggling to understand or are you always this patronising? Looking youthful doesn't equate to looking good, feeling good or being treated well.

At 24 I got asked by a cashier when I was starting back at college.
At 27-29 I got told I looked like I was still in school.
Now at 32 I get told I look 'mid 20s' and never get IDd.
However I suspect when I reach menopause it'll catch up with me, it usually does.

Me too. I can’t say I am upset about it 😂

The latter.

I had your problem. Carrying ID is not an issue, it is not being taken seriously at work. If I walk into a meeting with my junior, people think my junior is my manager. So quite uncomfortable all round. People with an older look have gravitas and get promoted faster. Not great for someone who wanted to get on in the workplace.

I would say your looks slowly catch up with your biological age when you are in your 40s. So you are not far off and be careful what you wish for

I am mid-fifties and not sure how old I look to people. I am definitely look older than 30s so a middle-aged woman but not 50s. The best thing about this is having been held back for so long by my looks in my 20s and 30s, I realise that my working life has an extra 10 years in it because during job interviews, people don't see a 50-something but late 40s. I imagine when I am in my 60s (if I make it), I will look in my early 50s.

Swings and roundabouts.

Don't worry op, you'll age soon enough.

I've always looked younger. I'm 38 now and don't get asked for ID anymore. I'm "catching up" a bit now since I hit my late 30s though. I've liked it most of the time but found in my 20s I was never taken seriously in the workplace. I feel like I'm treated as more of a proper adult as I get older which is nice!

🤣🤣🍷

Oh I used to get this and then I had my first child at 33 and bam never get asked anymore 🤣🤣🤣🤣 it is annoying though but you'll be grateful for your youthful looks once aging starts, trust me enjoy it as it won't last 😄

My SIL is very slight of frame, quite short and looks about 14 despite being late 20s. She has a professional job with significant responsibility but has been asked by well meaning strangers what subjects she enjoys at school on more than one occasion. I do feel a bit sorry for her.

I did also find an old picture of my DM the other day, she'd have been in her early 30s at the time but looked about 16. She did tell me my DF used to get refused drinks for her in pubs and I can see why now. However, she doesn't look 16 now, and while she looks very lovely does look much more her chronological age. No one argues when she asks for the pensioners special.

So I'm sure it will all work itself out in the end.

Story of my life. Still get mistaken for late teems and early twenties. I am 38.
It seems to be getting worse rather than better.

In what way is it getting worse?

I get where you're coming from OP.
I got treated similarly well into my 30s as well. I'm quite short with big blue eyes as well which likely didn't help and I found people were quick to infantilise me. It is frustrating and you're right, anytime I raised it as something that bothered me I either got dismissed as boasting or teased with the "aw look at you being all grumpy" thing.
I can genuinely say it didn't stop until around aged 42 when people stopped IDing me for alcohol, people no longer seemed surprised when they heard my age, and people accepted that I'm valuable and capable as an adult woman.
Though now of course there's a part of me wondering if I seemed to age horrifically in one year or something 😄

I was ID'd til I was 35. I missed it when it stopped! Don't worry OP, you'll look old and haggered like the rest of us soon enough! Personally, I wouldn't wish youthful looks away, but we r all different