To hate being told I look so young

[Walkingthrough]

Hear my out, I know this sounds like a boasting thread but it isn’t. I am constantly told I look early twenties. I feel it limits me. At work I’m treated like a young girl with no experience. As a mum I’m asked if I’m their sister. It makes me feel inadequate.

im mid thirties and just want to come across as mid thirties. I have a degree, job, kids (oldest is 12).

anyone relate?

when I buy wine which is much needed and anticipated and I get refused as I don’t have ID it just pisses me off.

If you constantly get I'D'd why don't you just carry I'D?

I think of all this things to get upset about... This seems pretty ridiculous to me. And I say this as someone at 33 who still always gets ID'd. It's a minor inconvenience.

Wait until you get to my age and the ticket collector on the train doesn't want to see my ID for my ticket which I bought using my senior railcard

I’m 21, same thing happens to me. People think I’m under 16 usually so almost always get id’d

I totally get it. I we t through the sane and it genuinely upset me in my professional role. I felt I wasn't taken as seriously as my colleagues who looked older.

I'm now in my 50s and I can't tell you how nice it is to be seen younger and how I deed it is helping me with work that I'm still seen as credible.

It will be you too.

I’ve had this all my life, baby face, but worth it now I’m nearly 50 but look a lot younger

Being forever young is indeed a burden.

It won’t last

In the meantime figure out what you can change - hairstyle, makeup - to age up and always carry ID

I genuinely don't mean to be facetious - but why not just carry ID? Will still be annoying to be asked for it, but at least you still get your wine or Calpol, whatever is needed. I always have my driving licence in the card holder of my phone case, then I don't even have to think about remembering it.

I look younger than I am because im fat.
Plumps out the wrinkles.

I look under 40 (I'm 50) and dh is 53 and looks slightly under 40 too. I'm not just saying this myself, we are mistaken for much younger constantly. It's all in the genes. Wheras i love it when somebody speaks to me as if I'm younger than i am, dh hates it. He feels like people don't take him seriously when they call him lad, son etc.

😂

I think the thing you hate us being treated like a child rather than being told you look young.

No, not jealous or anything like that. I've been told that too, but as you know, it doesn't work in your favour. As a teacher, some of the non teaching staff would reprimand me for being where a student shouldn't be, until I showed them.my ID. Their whole demeanour changed after that.

With the ID thing, surely that's just shop assistants doing their job? Do you have a driving licence? I keep mine in my wallet so I always have some form of ID.

Haha! - same here

Being IDed aside, being treated as "lesser than" professionally and socially is not an inconvenience – it's demeaning and it consistently chips away at your self-esteem. You highlight my exact point by bringing up 'the pleasures of looking youthful' – you assume they care or that it's a priority for them over being seen as and treated as capable. And are you really blaming how a woman chooses to dress or style her hair or wear her makeup as an excuse for being treated as incabaple? Women should be free to dress and present however they like and should expect manners and fairness wherever they are and whoever they are with.

We should form a support group.

😂😂

I get what you mean. Some of the responses here have been a bit unfair/rude. It's not the looking young that's a problem (looking young is quite nice), as when you get age it definitely helps. It's just that the way people treat you because they assume you are a young, inexperienced person and don't take you seriously even though you have professional qualifications, years of experience in your job, etc. I've had colleagues say, "Oh you couldn't possibly know that, you're not old enough". And I am the same bloody age as them! It's just a subtle way of trying to undermine you professionally. It's a bit like not being taken seriously, or being over-looked because of any other physical feature which I'm sure you wouldn't receive the same kind of unhelpful responses about.

I took my 1 year old niece to the park when I was much younger, and a nosy lady asked if she was mine. Then before I could even answer she said, "Oh silly question, you are far too young to have a baby". I said she's my niece, but she is my sisters baby and my sister is younger than me. The woman looked so horrified, despite having absolutely no idea how old my sister and I actually were. So for all the rude people on this thread, can you imagine having to deal with everyone being horrified at the thought that your child is yours because they think you are basically a child too?!

BTW, you don't need to change your appearance as some PP have suggested. Dress, wear make up and do your hair however you want.

I wish people weren't so ashamed of looking their age. I'm talking about some replies on here, you can see they're seething with jealousy because people don't tell them they look young. I wish it wasn't seen as such an achievement to look a few years younger than you actually do.

I can relate. I'm still called this girl in my workplace by people who doesn't know my name and age.

Needless to say that I'm almost 35.

I apparently look young for my age but I never get carded anymore so depends really.

That's not your appearance, that's their rudeness. Have a word.

I mean it won't last, it just won't. You will look old soon. There are no 40 year olds that look 20 so you know, quit ya moaning. I was the same, now I'm in my 40s and that's life.

Ha!

I always ask for the OP on these threads to post a photo so we can see the problem but unfortunately they never do. My advice is to carry ID, keep drinking the wine and you’ll soon look as old as the rest of us.