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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend topless in front of DH

576 replies

cakehoover123 · 20/07/2023 14:53

Went to a friend's house - just her, me and DH. I went to the loo. When I came back in the room, she was breastfeeding her 8-month-old.

She'd removed whole top and bra on both sides, so was topless, with the non-feeding boob not covered up by baby. DH was doing a decent job of keeping his eyes on her face though 🤣

AIBU to think that's a bit odd?

I know I can't ever comment to her. Just wondered what to make of it privately, especially since she's always been a wee bit flirty with DH.

But I've never breastfed... so maybe this is normal, or maybe I'm just a prude. Would you breastfeed alone with a friend's DH? And if so would you cover up more than this?

OP posts:
Tighginn · 20/07/2023 16:15

Friend, breastfed in front of friend and his wife got jealous...

KingsHeath53 · 20/07/2023 16:15

YABU.

She's feeding her baby.

Pammy26 · 20/07/2023 16:17

Odd …she should have covered up

momonpurpose · 20/07/2023 16:18

Breastfeeding is normal. THIS IS NOT!

Mostpeculiarmama · 20/07/2023 16:19

Fine having one boob out but very attention seeking having the other totally exposed. Completely dubious in front of a friend's husband.

Notmineagain · 20/07/2023 16:20

momonpurpose · 20/07/2023 16:18

Breastfeeding is normal. THIS IS NOT!

This! She was definitely trying to do something inappropriate here. How desperate and pathetic of her.

Nuttkin · 20/07/2023 16:21

why is it different? Breasts are not genital and not inherently sexual. There are plenty of cultures e.g. france where women are shirtless in public and it’s absolutely not different to a man. It’s not the 1950s anymore!!

Yeah, men in France aren't attracted to women's boobs 😂😂😂

Jongleterre · 20/07/2023 16:22

For those saying she's in her own home at what things do you draw the line at when have visitors?

Shaving your minge? "Nice to see you Carol and Bob, whilst the kettles boiling, I'm just going to shave my minge. Let me know if I miss a bit?"

CoreyTaylorsSoggyTshirt · 20/07/2023 16:24

Jongleterre · 20/07/2023 16:22

For those saying she's in her own home at what things do you draw the line at when have visitors?

Shaving your minge? "Nice to see you Carol and Bob, whilst the kettles boiling, I'm just going to shave my minge. Let me know if I miss a bit?"

She was feeding her child, not shaving her genitals 🤔

Weird to compare the two.

empatheticpretzel · 20/07/2023 16:25

never go over there again and tell everyone why

Intriguedbythis · 20/07/2023 16:25

Maybe she just felt really comfortable in front of her friends ? Some people are less prude, Wouldn’t personally take whole top off but can’t say it would bother me particularly if a friend did .

Mumtothreegirlies · 20/07/2023 16:27

I think some women make a big song and dance about breastfeeding. You just have to flop them out from a lower cut top. Yanbu you don’t need to be naked. Stupid women. I’d have it out with her if that were my friend and tell she was pathetic.

Meeting · 20/07/2023 16:27

Personally I don't think we're ever going to win breasts not being sexualised by men

You think men are the only ones who sexualise breasts?

So when women sexualise them, it's empowering blah blah blah. But when men do, it's unnecessary sexualisation?

AlanJohnsonsBeamer · 20/07/2023 16:27

That is strange. When I was BF though, I was so sleep deprived some days I often almost answered the front door topless. 🤣

Mumtothreegirlies · 20/07/2023 16:28

KingsHeath53 · 20/07/2023 16:15

YABU.

She's feeding her baby.

Baby needs nipple not whole upper body to bf 🙄

AngelinaFibres · 20/07/2023 16:29

Went to a posh cafe in Oxford once ,long before I had my own children. There was a woman in the middle of the cafe , facing the entrance ,totally topless, huge breasts, feeding her baby. There was very much a 'challenge me' vibe about it all. She wasn't looking at the child. She was looking at everyone who came in ,presumably to see their reaction. I fed both if mine. Never felt the need to wap everything out

BodegaSushi · 20/07/2023 16:31

I was expecting this to be about sunbathing, or just being a nudist.

KingsHeath53 · 20/07/2023 16:31

@Mumtothreegirlies there are a million reasons you'd breastfeed topless in your own home? Thrush, mastitis, out of nursing pads, nursing bras or tops in the wash, etc etc. I've been topless in front of my brother in law in the very early newborn stages when I couldn't remember which way was up and I DEFINATELY don't fancy him lol. Other mates done same in front of me too. Not the norm but not weird-weird.

KimberleyClark · 20/07/2023 16:31

Of course breasts are sexual. They playa role in sexual attraction without which there wouldn’t be any babies to feed.

Bromptotoo · 20/07/2023 16:32

FFS she's using her breasts for what the Good Lord meant.

If people, aside from peeking teenage boys, are even near getting off on it they need more than a head wobble!!!

CarPour · 20/07/2023 16:32

It's a little odd. But breastfeeding is not a sexual activity. And realistically it is just boob. Even if I fancied a man I don't think I'd chose to get my veined, milk filled tits out to flirt with him, with a baby on one. It's just not flirting is it?

Startyabastard · 20/07/2023 16:32

AngelinaFibres · 20/07/2023 16:29

Went to a posh cafe in Oxford once ,long before I had my own children. There was a woman in the middle of the cafe , facing the entrance ,totally topless, huge breasts, feeding her baby. There was very much a 'challenge me' vibe about it all. She wasn't looking at the child. She was looking at everyone who came in ,presumably to see their reaction. I fed both if mine. Never felt the need to wap everything out

I'm sure that was true, but I think that is very, very much the minority.

Presseddaisy · 20/07/2023 16:33

I think this totally depends on the person. I breastfed under a sheet so noone could see a hint of nipple but one of my best friends used to get both boobs out and rest them on the table in Costa when feeding.

ConnieLinggusThe69th · 20/07/2023 16:33

Meeting · 20/07/2023 16:27

Personally I don't think we're ever going to win breasts not being sexualised by men

You think men are the only ones who sexualise breasts?

So when women sexualise them, it's empowering blah blah blah. But when men do, it's unnecessary sexualisation?

I mean its interesting you only quoted the line that suited the thing you wanted to say and didn't include the rest where I didn't say what you've decided I have 😅

cadburyegg · 20/07/2023 16:35

That's weird and I breastfed both of my children. Never once stripped off all of my top half.

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