Friend topless in front of DH

[cakehoover123]

Went to a friend's house - just her, me and DH. I went to the loo. When I came back in the room, she was breastfeeding her 8-month-old.

She'd removed whole top and bra on both sides, so was topless, with the non-feeding boob not covered up by baby. DH was doing a decent job of keeping his eyes on her face though 🤣

AIBU to think that's a bit odd?

I know I can't ever comment to her. Just wondered what to make of it privately, especially since she's always been a wee bit flirty with DH.

But I've never breastfed... so maybe this is normal, or maybe I'm just a prude. Would you breastfeed alone with a friend's DH? And if so would you cover up more than this?

Did you sit half naked in front of your friends breastfeeding because your friends might say Starlight Lady loves getting her tits out at any opportunity.

Of course that’s the issue. But some posters are ignoring that because it doesn’t suit them/their super cool agenda.

Have you ever seen anyone take EVERYTHING off to breastfeed and leave the other breast uncovered? Because I haven’t nor have I heard of it.
To top it off the friend is known to be flirtatious with OPs DH.. this is fishy to me.

I would normally not blink at anyone breastfeeding, but someone is making a show of it..

No, I wouldn't - and I'm not totally on board with breastfeeding in full view either.

Like some of the comments on here, women will say: 'They're just breasts' and 'I wouldn't want my head covered to eat my dinner' and not think twice about revealing their breasts in the company of strangers - ie, in a food court or similar - which I personally have seen many times. But now it's someone's actual DH, there's an issue.

My point is, any man could be someone's husband. So what's the difference!?
We either accept breastfeeding in society - without conditions - or we don't?

If someone took her top and bra off in a food court or similar, I would have exactly the same reaction. I find it odd that any woman would feel comfortable sitting there with it all hanging out, and it really isn't necessary.

Breastfeeding in public is completely normal though. Yes, people might occasionally flash a breast in the process, and I don't see that as a big deal at all...feeding a baby is a perfectly normal, natural process. Sitting there half naked is a bit different!

There are whole websites dedicated to this as a fetish.

I’d have asked if he minded, but I’d have been discreet. When I bf in front of my dad (when I went to stay at their house) I asked if he minded and he didn’t, but I kept discreet as I did in front of anyone, men and women. That’s a bit odd

Am I the only person who would be weirded out by the reverse scenario then?

If I was visiting a friend and my DH went to the toilet and he chose that moment to whip his top off in the lounge and then just sat there naked to the waist I'd be weirded the fuck out.

Is that normal to other people?

Because if not, I'm not sure the comments about 'why is it fine for men to be topless' apply...

Wow so now people are trying to steal others husbands while breastfeeding! You must be a real misogynist if you think most women who just become mums are plotting to entice other men ! No women I know ever used breastfeeding to anything even remotely sexualising . Get a grip !

But that's not for us to decide.

Women have been told that they can - and should - feel comfortable BFing whenever, wherever and however they choose without feeling awkward.
So they do that. Often in public, in full view of other people's (unprepared) husbands, who are NOT allowed to object.

However, it appears we've now established that there IS a boundary after all. I'm saying that boundary should be respected whether it's friends OR strangers!

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12168491/amp/Diners-left-speechless-naked-couple-walk-pub-enjoy-meal.html
Couple who are friends dine naked in front of families.

I'm a 40 year old woman and would be reasonably uncomfortable with a friend getting both tits out.

I mean, I'd live but I'd find it bloody awkward TBH

I suppose you lock your husband at home and he is not allowed to holiday abroad ? Because in France , Portugal, Spain , Italy , lots of women do too less on the beach .
if this so how she is comfortable breastfeeding then he should get a grip as should the OP , she is home . What a misogynist view of the world that things must revolve around what men see fit

To be fair, if you asked anyone if they minded you bf-ing, no one is going to say yes.

I started to see my body as just a baby making and feeding machine. I completely forgot that breasts are considered sexy. They were just functional and I quite often wouldn’t notice if forgotten to cover up after DC had finished. It embarrassed others more than me. I would cover up once I realised though.

Seeing multiple women who are strangers topless on a beach is different from seeing your friend topless in her home whilst have a conversation with her. I am surprised you cannot tell the difference.

It is unusual to sit with your top half completely exposed even when breastfeeding (in public anyway) I have never seen a breastfeeding woman with both her boobs even half out let alone all of the top half uncovered. I would definitely be a bit umm this is a bit odd if even one of my close friends did it unless they were newly breastfeeding and still getting to grips with it.

Breastfeeding your child, absolutely fine but there doesn't need to be a performance over it. I didn't breastfeed so I don't know but I would assume by 8 months it's top down, boob out, in mouth.

I think it's also weird that she chose the one moment OP was out of the room to do it. Of course it could just be a coincidence but if she has been flirty before I'm not surprised it's being given a bit more thought. It's the combination of it all, if it was one isolated incident then it wouldn't be half as weird (although still a bit unusual!)

I wouldn't give it any more thought though. At best she just didn't think, at worst she's an attention seeker hence the flirtiness.

I definitely would be a bit weirded out if one of my husbands friends chose the moment he left the room to take his top off as well!

I should add I absolutely love that my hubby would not find this odd or uncomfortable at all , he would probably ask her if she needed water or a drink lol 😂 .
He came from a family with lots of women who mostly breastfeed and I breasted so if any of my friends is around or we are with friends he doesn’t even bat an eyelid .
I should I add he is a boob guy but as he would say himself , boobs as object if desire are a thing and a woman breastfeeding are 2 very different things .
Maybe people need to normalise breastfeeding more .

Well my dad would have if he did mind. He wasn’t one for mincing his words. But others unlikely to. But it’s a courtesy at least

There are hundreds of tribes in Africa where female toplessness is part of traditional clothing and who would disagree with you. Breasts are sexualised in some cultures, not all.

Well no, breasts are secondary sexual characteristics in humans. Shame and sexuality aren't the same in many countries. Just because it's sexy, doesn't mean it needs covered up.

Basically in a lot of other mammals there isn't a breast as such, just a nipple. The idea being that when arses weren't on show as for most primates, when we started walking upright, breaths developed as a secondary characteristic. Essentially, look at my boobs, I have this much extra energy and vitality to waste. Just like peacock tails and baboons arses.

Lots of body parts have multiple uses, doesn't mean they aren't also evolved to be sexually attractive.

Like I said, I agree... but I know of many women who do not.
I was once sitting in a shopping centre food court where a woman with twins was sat, top fully off, nursing a baby on each breast. And they weren't exactly small breasts, so I'm in no doubt everyone - including people's 'husband's - saw. I know mine certainly did!

Let's, for argument's sake, say that OP's friend was the woman I saw that day.
If it's OK for her to openly BF in front of my husband - why not the OP's husband?

That's my point.

The difference is she is feeding a child !! Not doing strip tese ffs 🤦🏻‍♀️

If it's OK for her to openly BF in front of my husband - why not the OP's husband?

It is not ok for her to have her top fully off to bf in public.

Breastfeeding will probably take off now looking at the prices of formula milk. Breastfeeding would be the cheaper option. Before Brexit women preferred formula over breastfeeding. Health visitors was trying to promote more women to breastfeed and even hired breastfeeding consultants to help mother's.

Not sure why you mention strip tease. How is that relevant?