Friend topless in front of DH

[cakehoover123]

Went to a friend's house - just her, me and DH. I went to the loo. When I came back in the room, she was breastfeeding her 8-month-old.

She'd removed whole top and bra on both sides, so was topless, with the non-feeding boob not covered up by baby. DH was doing a decent job of keeping his eyes on her face though 🤣

AIBU to think that's a bit odd?

I know I can't ever comment to her. Just wondered what to make of it privately, especially since she's always been a wee bit flirty with DH.

But I've never breastfed... so maybe this is normal, or maybe I'm just a prude. Would you breastfeed alone with a friend's DH? And if so would you cover up more than this?

The odd thing here is your reaction . It’s a boob , for breastfeeding . Your husband is bound to have seen lots of them by now . Grow up

but they are also sexual and that will never change.

There are hundreds of tribes in Africa where female toplessness is part of traditional clothing and who would disagree with you. Breasts are sexualised in some cultures, not all.

I breast feed my 9 month old and will feed him happily in front of anyone. However! I do not whip my top off and have both my boobs on show, lol! If I'm wearing a top where I literally have to whip my boob out over the top of the neckline I cover the top bit with some muslin. It's a bit weird to me but everyone is different. I wouldn't whip both my boobs out in my own house unless it was just me and my partner home. Certainly not in front of guests.

Then get the men to change their wayside feeling or behaviour ffs ! This woman has done nothing wrong . It’s the same as saying people get raped because they where skinny outfits and men had to look !!

Well we don't know her so it's hard to say what her intentions were. My colleague came in with her baby and I didn't even know she was feeding him when we were talking at first.

People can't be shocked that people find breasts arousing (obviously normally not whilst feeding a baby). I'm a straight woman but think they nice.

I can't imagine getting mine out especially infront of male family or friends.

He might have a boob fetish and she knew this?

Get men to stop getting turned on by breasts?

Yeah and no doubt some men are aroused by being smothered in tomato sauce and whipped with tagliatelle, with a garlic baton shoved up their arse. That's not the reason I sat in the window of Bella Italia at lunch time.

They genuinely are, it’s called ‘squelching’ - people have sex with food!

Totally weird. I didn’t bf DS but lots of my friends breastfed and apart from the odd very very brief glance of a nipple, I hardly ever saw boobs.

Naked from the waist up while feeding an 8 month old is a bit unnecessary to be honest

😂

I think we have a different opinion about half naked friend but this did make me laugh.

Er what? This is a discussion about etiquette and your brining rape into it.

If OP's DH sexually assaulted her friend, then you'd have a point.

So basically, if you don't agree with public nudity (for example) you're a rape apologist? Or maybe, different behaviours are appropriate at different times. It's good to be respectful of others, and that includes breastfeeding mothers.

I breastfed everywhere, including walking around the supermarket. But I covered myself and my baby so nobody could tell.

I missed that and she still felt the need to whip them out. I would understand if the baby was 8 weeks but 8 months the mother was obviously looking for attention.

I find men's torsos and shoulders attractive, especially if a bit toned. Doesn't mean that I think they need to cover up to protect me from finding them attractive. But also, I think the majority of men do not find breastfeeding sexual and I do think that there's something deviant about the men who do. Do we have to conform to the feelings of deviant men?

For goodness sake, she was feeding a child in her own home in what she considered was the most practical way. What is the big deal? Women have breasts and they feed babies with them.

I go topless at the beach when with friends and sometimes their husbands, nobody is scarred for life.

The baby is 8 months old what she did was unnecessary. The op's friend may be a hippy.

You prance on the beach to tan and eventually get all wrinkly because you dried up your skin. Another joy of going topless on the beach the added bonus of skin cancer.

Totally unnecessary and quite shocking. If this is her home, not sure I want to visit for fear of what else she thinks is appropriate to expose in polite company.

Honestly, some things I prefer not to see and it is rude to inflict on guests. Best to bring eye bleach if you do decide to visit again.

I bf-ed my dcs for 3 years. So no stranger to it.

I find comments like this curious. Women are constantly told they should feel comfortable breastfeeding their child anywhere and not feel they have to 'cover up' themselves or their baby.

However, now that a woman has chosen to breastfeed her child, with both breasts in full view, in her own home, with her friends husband present, that's apparently 'weird'.

Breastfeeding in 'public' (even tho this wasn't actually IN public) is either acceptable or it isn't - not only if the woman is feeding a certain way or in a certain place. Because, when you think about it, any man is potentially someone's 'husband'...

I've breast fed anywhere and everywhere and you do get a bit blasé about people seeing your boobs. I literally didn't care. However I've never removed my whole top and bra on the presence of anyone, never mind my friend's husband.

Have you done it yourself before is that why you have that opinion would you go topless in front of friends or family?

Surely the issue is that it's obvious if you sit there with both your boobs out in front of your friend's husband it might make them uncomfortable. Out of basic politeness and consideration for others, just don't do it. It's totally unnecessary.

It is not all or nothing. It is reductionist to think that there is no nuance to what is acceptable bf-ing behaviour and what is not. This is so far on the opposite side of the pendulum that you must be disingenous to think this has not crossed the boundary of decency.

I find comments like this curious. Women are constantly told they should feel comfortable breastfeeding their child anywhere and not feel they have to 'cover up' themselves or their baby.

There is a vast middle ground between forcing a woman into another roof or to be covered in a shawl - and sitting there with your entire breasts out areolas and all, in front of people who were unprepared.