Friend topless in front of DH

[cakehoover123]

Went to a friend's house - just her, me and DH. I went to the loo. When I came back in the room, she was breastfeeding her 8-month-old.

She'd removed whole top and bra on both sides, so was topless, with the non-feeding boob not covered up by baby. DH was doing a decent job of keeping his eyes on her face though 🤣

AIBU to think that's a bit odd?

I know I can't ever comment to her. Just wondered what to make of it privately, especially since she's always been a wee bit flirty with DH.

But I've never breastfed... so maybe this is normal, or maybe I'm just a prude. Would you breastfeed alone with a friend's DH? And if so would you cover up more than this?

🤣🤣🤣

I’d like to think I’d notice my boob being out but I’m not so sure now because I do remember my friend and her parents coming round to see my baby and I still had a breast pump attached and fully on show.

I think when you’re BF you do get a bit too used to having your boob out/so sleep deprived that you don’t notice or comprehend that it’s not normal to have a boob out around other people.

But this women didn't just have one boob out. She had taken off her top and her bra.

Not sure why people think this is odd behaviour. Her house, her boobs; she wasn’t dancing round a pole.

I know we brits are prudes though - is she european ;)

Yeah, all those women in southern European Catholic countries are whapping their boobs out all the time!

I’ve breastfed both of mine to over 2 years, and am a massive advocate for breastfeeding. I’d whip a boob out anywhere… However I have never felt the need to remove my entire top! Even when they have been going through the switching sides throughout stage. How strange.

It’s a strange flirting tactic though. Not exactly sexy or seductive is it?

Presumably you knowingly go to a topless beach? And can avoid it if it's not your thing? Not quite the same as being in someone's living room and them taking their breasts out.

There's any number of reasons it may be uncomfortable for another person if someone is indiscreetly breastfeeding, from someone who did breastfeed.

OP's husband hasn't even done anything😂
If he lectured to friend or berated her, then yes.

Why would you completely remove your bra and top to breast feed though? It is rather attention seeking. It isn't difficult to feed discreetly.

Besides, you might think it isn't sexy, but some men do.

What a weird selection of comments.

No they aren't @nonmerci99 - see my above comment. You are thinking like a woman. Men view breasts as sexual. It is a fact whether you like it or not.

Yabu and I'm so glad my own friends aren't so judgemental. Breastfeeding topless is my default way of doing it when I'm in my own home. Sure I might make a token effort to pull a cardigan halfway across if I have visitors but if it gapes open then so what. Babies wriggle and it usually takes two arms to breastfeed

I think you have no idea how men would view this. And it doesn't take two arms to breastfeed. Why would you need two arms once your baby is latched on? I never felt the need to get naked to feed and neither do most women. This is definitely attention seeking behaviour.

I BF DD and managed perfectly well to stay covered up and just use one arm (besides, it wasn't warm enough to go topless)

That is odd most definitely but then I find breastfeeding gross anyway

Yes but if she does this at home all of the time then it’s reasonable for her to do it in company and not realise what she’s actually doing.

There was obviously no other intention behind it and so it must be something she does quite regularly and either forgot she was in company or didn’t care.

That was my first thought she's lonely without a man in her life. I think the two of them staying and watching her breastfeed is strange I would've called it a day and said you look busy now. If she said no stay I would have responded with no don't get up I will see myself out.

But who gives a shit how men view it? I don't make choices related either what I'm wearing or how I feed my child with the way men view those things in mind.

Never a good idea to take your opinions and personal experience and attempt to universalise them.

The comments on this thread are sad and disappointing, including yours.

I'm Irish so European, I can confirm it is not standard here to get topless in front of our friends husbands.

Sorry but ‘her house her boobs’ is utterly ridiculous. Would you answer the door naked to the postman? I actually think all these posters pretending to be all cooooool mannn about it would’ve been shocked as well.

I do know of women who use breastfeeding as a way to flaunt.

Do they tell you that, or is it your interpretation? because that's what women have been putting up with ever since they began breastfeeding in public. It's never about feeding a baby, but trying to steal everyone's man.

Because boobs with engorged veins that drip/gush milk then smell like stale milk until you can get time to shower are soooo sexy and threatening, right...

It is not normal to behave in the way OP described. Been in rooms with many breastfeeding women - it was always done rather more discreetly

Years ago I did an early morning milk round while at uni and fairly regular to get a woman come to the door with a boob hanging out of nightwear. Don't know whether that was breastfeeding or just sleepiness. Mind you we interrupted quite a few couples having sex in the back of cars/

If it was a mum of a newborn and maybe she ordiginally thought she was alone and then didn’t quite know how to cover up without making it more awkward I could sort of envision it…. But in the circumstances sounds very odd!

yes- this about sums it up for me.

I once worked in a museum and we had someone do very close to this in the middle of a room. I'd never sit anyone in the loo or anything like that but a quiet corner was what everyone else did

I've got years of breastfeeding under my belt and was a Leader with La Leche League too. She was out of order and being an exhibitionist.No one needs to strip to the waist to feed a baby.

I asked my husband if he found breastfeeding sexy, he said 'Only you n your big ol' milkers, yeah, just a pity the baby gets in the way!' lol, but otherwise, maybe this is how she is comfortable, I cannot see anyone using a suckling noisy burpy baby hanging off their booby as a way to act sexy!!
As to those who say 'Wont the other one leak?' no, not all of us have leaky ones! lol
I much prefer to breastfeed topless, though I think mine is down to the fact I get hot flushes when I feed, so I like to stay cool!

By 8 months they've usually calmed down a bit haven't they? I can't remember!

It certainly seems weird and unnecessary. I'm pro breastfeeding and sometimes you need to wap one out, but to literally strip naked from the waist up is unnecessary exhibitionism.

Of course you do 🙄

Yeah that's weird. I have never ever seen anyone do this in company and I've breastfed two children and see my friends breastfeed many.

Next time she comes round just flippantly say 'if baby gets hungry, keep your clothes on this time please sharon' 😂