DP won’t stop asking ridiculous questions

[QuestionAfterQuestion]

Please tell me my DP isn’t the only one who does this. Misery loves company and all that.

We went to a new cafe today. Neither of us have been there and it’s a place he picked (I’ve never heard of it). Walked in and he asked me where the toilet was. Well I don’t know but I looked around and saw a sign so I guess it’s there! Bonus questions I was asked include the likes of ‘what’s good here?’ and ‘which brand of milk do they use for their lattes?’.

We make a trip to the cinema. 10 minutes into the film he asks me who that character is. I don’t know but I expect all will be revealed soon enough!

He stands in the kitchen, heating instructions are right there on the packet he’s holding. ‘How long do we heat this up for?’

His macbook had an os update. ‘How long does it take to install?’

I’ve been biting my tongue and responding with ‘I don’t know’ instead of something snarkier but it’s relentless!!

To be honest, I'm not generally this cynical, but I wonder if it's evidence of an unwitting desire to control. I'm not necessarily trying to demonise him - plenty of us have to keep tabs on controlling impulses to make sure they don't get out of hand. But his subconscious thought process strikes me as 'let's see what bullshit I can get her to engage with'. He must sense on some level that it's disrespectful to get you to do these very basic tasks for him, like read a packet of rice for cooking instructions. Or maybe he's simply too comfortable with you and not bothering to filter all the babble in his head as people usually do, but feels the need to phrase it as a question so he doesn't seem boring going on about milk brands. I would have very little patience with the lack of social grace or the need to control, whichever one it is, and would probably ignore him, though it would all bubble up eventually. The verbal equivalent of leaving an empty loo roll on the side for someone else to bin!

Yep mine does this too. I think it is just laziness in that he can’t be bothered to find things out for himself, so would rather just ask me. I have now resorted to “I don’t know” or rather “how the hell should I know!”

One time he arranged a Birthday surprise weekend (big Birthday) which he did pretty well to be fair. We were rushing trying to get to a show on time when he starts asking random strangers where the place was (we weren’t exactly close but wanted a rough direction), a poor soul then started to look it up on his phone! I was a bit mortified as he/we could have done that!

Also, got to a posh restaurant he booked and the doorman asks to see the booking confirmation - he didn’t have it because it was on his work email (on laptop at home) so starts having a big argument as the bloke won’t let us in and bloke doesn’t have any way of checking the booking, as he is a doorman at the bottom of the lifts and restaurant is at the top! Eventually doorman gives in and lets us passed but it was touch and go. When we got to the restaurant they ask again but we explain and the reception guy giggles saying “he’s old school”. Me nodding furiously.

I organise most things in our life as everything goes tits up otherwise!

‘No need to be snippy it’s just a question’

My eleven year old does this and it drives me crackers, must be infuriating coming from a grown up

I take the piss out of my dh when he does this and it's slowly stopping

If he'd asked me where the toilet was I'd have told him that he has to walk out the front door, turn right and they around the back of the building - then laughed when he came back in (he now knows never to ask me where a toilet it. Or if the kitchen is clearly visible I tell him he has to walk through the kitchen and it's in the back

If he asks me how long anything will take, I always respond with 'about an hour'

Heating instructions - 'about an hour'

OS update - about an hour

Milk - full fat hamster milk

But we do have a good sense of humour so it's always in very good humour

I think sometimes people are narrating their day or saying their thought process out loud, but yes it drives me insane.

Needs a hard reset.

I have one like this, but mine is faulty. Not only does he ask me irritating questions instead of using his own brain, he leaves out or swaps half the key words so I also need to be a mind reader. For example, earlier I had "Where's the black thing that we use in the thing?"... FFS

He has on occasion become cross with me for giving him a wrong answer, because he asked about the wrong bloody thing in the first place! (Think along the lines of "where are the scissors" when he actually meant the sellotape)

DP actually asked me the other day "Am I hungry?"

I find "HOW COULD I POSSIBLY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT?!" said repeatedly, at volume, helps a bit.

Haha this would wind me up no end, thankfully I only get the "have you seen my..." which most of the time is met with "it's up yer arse" 👌or at one time I'd put this on loud if he asked interrupted me whilst working from home to ask😂

I have one of these. I think he just assumes I know everything.

Oh yes. Enjoy it when he looks puzzled, or even accepts your idiotic response as gospel!

Pretty sure we have the same DP/DH.

‘What should I have for lunch?’

no response from me.

‘Any ideas, babe?’

Get some sushi or something.

‘But today’s not a sushi kind of day.’

Go get a burger?

‘I just had a burger yesterday… Should I get some pho?’

All as I am halfway out the door.

My DH asked me today for advice on his pension, I do not and never have worked for the pension company.

I have voted YABU because YABU not to just say "I don't know, I just got here too/just started watching the film too" etc.

Mine does this it drives me insane. I have been known to end up yelling "I'm not google!!"

Saying nothing doesn’t work. Like for the movie example, he started nudging my arm and whispering ‘babe?’ Every time I ignore him he takes it as though I haven’t heard the bloody question!

he nudges your arm?? How is he not under the patio???

You have far more patience than me OP

My ex was like this. Ask him to make a quick dinner for the kids as I was going out/ill/thought it was his turn:

Which tray shall I use? The flat one? Which one is the flat one? How many chips/nuggets shall I put in? What, just judge by eyesight? What temperature should it be on? Should I go check on it now? How about now? What do you mean they need a side to it? Do we have any beans in? Which saucepan for the beans? Where’s the ketchup bottle? What do you mean I’ve put on enough chips and nuggets to feed a small army? You never told me the exact amount to put in! Oh they need a drink with their dinner? I need to wipe the table? Where are the baby wipes? What do you mean use antibacterial ones?

You have the patience of a saint!!!

If I had maybe he wouldn’t be an ex 🤣. I could not deal by the end, it got worse over time.

My 5 year old does this - I gave stupid answers instead. He soon got the message

Tell him to engage his brain

YES!!!!!!!!

Its so fucking irritating!

DP’s questions seem to hinge around other people, like because I’m female I have a higher psychic insight as to the lives and emotions of others

Me: Bumped into Susie in the supermarket, she’s going to the school fete this weekend
DH: Is she bringing anything for the tombola? What’s she bringing?

It’s like he thinks for every brief interaction I have with anybody I can glean every single fact about what they’re telling me

It doesn’t sound like much but it’s relentless!

My DH asks me if he needs a coat (already dressed) before going outside knowing I run way warmer than him, he runs cold, and I have not gone outside myself.

I remind him of our body temp difference and suggest he steps outside himself. For some reason, it doesn’t occur to him to step outside first and check for himself instead of asking me.