DP won’t stop asking ridiculous questions

[QuestionAfterQuestion]

Please tell me my DP isn’t the only one who does this. Misery loves company and all that.

We went to a new cafe today. Neither of us have been there and it’s a place he picked (I’ve never heard of it). Walked in and he asked me where the toilet was. Well I don’t know but I looked around and saw a sign so I guess it’s there! Bonus questions I was asked include the likes of ‘what’s good here?’ and ‘which brand of milk do they use for their lattes?’.

We make a trip to the cinema. 10 minutes into the film he asks me who that character is. I don’t know but I expect all will be revealed soon enough!

He stands in the kitchen, heating instructions are right there on the packet he’s holding. ‘How long do we heat this up for?’

His macbook had an os update. ‘How long does it take to install?’

I’ve been biting my tongue and responding with ‘I don’t know’ instead of something snarkier but it’s relentless!!

Just punch him in the throat and have done with it

Yes I strongly suspect this is a big part of it. But why have some people grown up to only be able to 'have a conversation' this way? I know a PP said it's learned behaviour from her mum, I wonder what else is at the root of it. It's food for thought

Oh fuck me, I don't know how you put up with it. I'm annoyed even reading about it.
I'd have to have it out with him or I'd end up just getting up and walking out or away.

@phoenixrosehere it's very harmless, no one's dying by me asking a question. You can choose how you respond and how you react to a question that's asked. If you're sharp with someone asking a simple question then I find it incredibly rude rather than actually talking about it. By saying 'can I ask why you ask questions you can easily find the answers too because I find it frustrating or annoying etc' you might actually find something out about that person because chances are, they don't know they're doing it. It comes from childhood 9 times out of 10.

there are numerous previous threads like this one! Almost like men expect women to take the mental load of looking everything up for them…

DH is certainly not above asking daft questions like that. I tend to look at him blankly and say "How would I know?" or "Have you tried googling it?"

Sometimes he's possibly just asking himself out loud as a general rhetorical question and doesn't expect you in particular to have the answer.

If you love them you put up with it

My bugbear with a couple of exes was the inability to get swiftly to the point of an anecdote. Rather than move directly from A to B it roped in the old lady over the road, that annoying bloke at at work and a particularly irritating friend.

Of course if you say "Get to the point" you are accused of not being interested or not listening

C'est la vie

But halfway through hopefully someone else will know! I'm like this, I have ADHD and the cinema is the best place for me to focus on a film, but even then sometimes I can just zone out!

Exactly this . It is with me anyway - most of the time. I never used to like silence and took me a long time to enjoy the quiet, I think that also has a lot to do with it.

Of course, no one’s dying, but if you’re doing it and even when talked about it, continue to do so and the person has been polite repeatedly, that’s rude too.

For an adult,
Q "What's for dinner?" A."Pig's dick & lettuce".
Q. "When will so & so happen/arrive?" A. "When Nelson gets his eye back."
Q. "Where's my glasses/phone/pen ?" A. Where you left it/them or on the hoojah next to the wotsit or in the coal hole (we don't have a coal hole), under my armpit."

🙄

I used to work with someone like this, by the end of the working week I was ready to throttle them. Ended up asking them politely why they thought I would know and they said "well you seem really clever"!

It is a man thing. My fella & dad are the same

Mine does this too with the added function of rewording the question if I reply I don't know. The supplementary question gets answered with "I still don't know". After 20 years he still hasn't got the hang of it poor dear 🤦🏻‍♀️

@ManAboutTown DP took umbrage once when he was being particularly long winded and I did a “speed it up” gesture. Apparently he’d never be so rude to me! Yes, well, it wouldn’t take me 15 minutes of rambling to deliver information amounting to “it’s hot outside”.

Oh yeah, DP is exactly like this.

His favorite is "what time is it". I've been known to tell him that I am not the speaking clock and he has much recourse to find the time as he does.

And "what's this" or "where does this go" when I've got my back to him or am in another room. Usual reply from me "what 'this' are you talking about".

But also comments. I recently had a load of teatowels ruined by having to mop up some rust. I told him they were all ruined and only any use as rags now. And he said "you could try washing them". No, really!?

I'm ooooo

I have a boss that does this. Asks me if I did a task on a file when they have the file in front of them, asks me what's in the parcel that's arrived before I open it, asks who rang when I've already emailed them. It's really annoying. I put it down to laziness.

Glad to see someone knows what it's like😂

My MIL also does this but then contradicts whatever I say.
Her (waving a box of fish fingers): How long do you think these take?
Me: Probably about 20 minutes
Her: Oh, the box says 15-18 minutes.

It drives me nuts, why are you asking me! Is it so we can play the worlds shittest guessing game? Is it because we have so little in common that we’re reduced to discussing it the cooking time of various toddler snacks? Arghhhh

He does this sometimes too!

‘Babe, what time will the package arrive?’
‘I picked the 3-5 time slot’
He pulls out his phone to check
‘Yeah you’re right’

Why ask me in the middle of my WFH session then!!!!!

@phoenixrosehere but - hear me out here - it's an ingrained unconscious thing that many people do and have done since childhood, it's not like it's a thought through process, so it can't really be seen as rude, unless they did it on purpose to annoy the other, then yes that would be, but 99% of the time they don't know they're doing it. I didn't, and sometimes I still ask easy to source questions, like what time is it whilst I pick up my phone to check, because most of the time I'm about to suggest something then my brains realises my suggestion is time dependant so I'm actually just talking aloud in most cases before I get to whatever I was going to say, but when I actually ask and look at my husband for an answer & see his blank look, that will usually set us off laughing because he's reminding me I'm doing it again.

It sounds like you're totally incompatible with someone who does this, which is fine, they're not your cup of tea, and you won't be theirs. We don't all need to get on but being more understanding towards one another will ease our stress levels.

My husband sometimes does it too, I think everyone does - because we don't realise we're doing it, some do it way more than others, he will also ask a question knowing full well I don't have the answer and we both start laughing.

So if someone else is cooking dinner, it's actually rude or stupid to ask them what the dinner will be?

I don't know, in the old days that was regarded as a harmless enough question, but I suppose the world is now too "woke" for such crude communication.

Doesn't 'Shut the fuck up' work in that situation?