Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send DD in despite sickness?

151 replies

Downdoneandout · 19/07/2023 03:58

Message sent home from DD’s preschool earlier this week saying there’s a sickness bug going around, reminding about 48 hour rule etc. Currently sat up with DD who has most definitely got that lovely bug as of tonight; fun times!

She’s not due in preschool again until Thursday, but this will not technically be 48hours clear. In theory I should keep her off. However…it is her very LAST DAY of preschool before she goes off to school next term, there’s a leavers party etc. If I don’t send her in, she will miss the whole experience and be totally heartbroken (as will I to be honest!).

I am usually a real stickler for following the 48h rules, but AIBU to consider breaking them in this case?! 🫣

OP posts:
Moonberri · 19/07/2023 06:36

It would be such a horrible selfish thing to do. I get that it feels like a massive deal now to miss the party because you've been looking forward to it but honestly I can't even remember my DCs leaving events now. Imagine you were the family who had to cancel your much-needed and looked forward to holiday because some selfish person spread around a sickness bug.

You'd basically be saying that you don't care if other people get sick and ruin their plans as long as you don't get to miss an event. It's pure selfishness.

Moonberri · 19/07/2023 06:38

Aw273 · 19/07/2023 06:35

She got it from the preschool, everyone else there will have already been exposed same as her so no point in her missing out now. Most bugs are most contagious before/during illness, not after

I despair. No they haven't all been "exposed" and there's a 48 hour rule for a reason. Its people like you that cause these illnesses to spread in the first place. So selfish.

Flopsythebunny · 19/07/2023 06:39

There are some selfish c**he on here.
"I usually stick to the rules" unless it affects me or mine!
The rules are there for a very good reason. You risk making multiple kids sick just as the holidays are about to start.

Lougle · 19/07/2023 06:41

'Not technically 48 hours' might apply if she was sick at 11am on Tuesday, so should stay off until 11am on Thursday, but preschool starts at 9am.

'Not technically 48 hours' does not apply when she was sick at 5am on Wednesday, which means that you'd be sending her in 20 hours early. That's just breaking the rules.

LovelyGirlsCompetition · 19/07/2023 06:43

You seem genuinely surprised at these replies stating in no uncertain terms to keep her off for 48 hours. Why?? Can you really not see how supremely selfish and inappropriate it would be to send her in?

Put yourself in another parent’s shoes and imagine you’re looking after a vomiting child on a plane, long car journey, at the vulnerable GP’s, or just having to cancel all your first week of the holiday plans. Stop being part of the problem, there’s enough selfishness around as it is.

YukoandHiro · 19/07/2023 06:43

I'd send her if she was fine all day today (Wednesday)

Billyhero · 19/07/2023 06:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

DiscoDeborah · 19/07/2023 06:43

Don't send her in, it really doesn't need a conversation about it just don't!

I get she will be sad to miss her last day but it would be incredibly selfish to send her in. Have a nice day at home and she'll be fine.

We've just had a bug going round our house was surprised at how long it took to spread. I was patient zero and was away when it started and still passed it on when I got back.

Think of the ruined holidays, trips etc that you could be responsible for and how you'd feel in reverse. It's really not fair for the sake of one day.

Billyhero · 19/07/2023 06:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Kitkattt · 19/07/2023 06:44

A colleague was telling me recently they’d all had a tummy bug and were all fine and went to visit family and even though they had no symptoms quite a few members of family ended up getting it.

Even if you are no longer vomiting it’s 48 hours for a reason sadly. It’s the same in hospitals so they’ve clearly got evidence to prove this is safest way to prevent spread.
In fairness your child won’t remember this I am sure you will be more upset but there are going to be lots of firsts and lasts and upsets along the way so you just need to accept it and move on.

RampantIvy · 19/07/2023 06:47

AIBU to consider breaking them in this case?!

Yes.

JustAnotherDayWorkingAtHome · 19/07/2023 06:50

Personally I think 24 hours clear of vomiting is fine. That even was the rule back when my kids were in nursery. I think you are much more contagious before an ms during.

Mojitosaremyfavourite · 19/07/2023 06:51

Aw273 · 19/07/2023 06:35

She got it from the preschool, everyone else there will have already been exposed same as her so no point in her missing out now. Most bugs are most contagious before/during illness, not after

What a load of shite . Complete nonsense advice.

Popsicle42 · 19/07/2023 06:52

Sometimes kids get ill and miss stuff. My daughter had to miss her last ever chance at a nativity because she got chicken pox. She was well in herself but still contagious. Bye bye Angel Gabriel.
You would be completely unreasonable to send your child to her leavers party tomorrow. She’ll get over missing it.

Monkeynuts57 · 19/07/2023 06:53

Oh my! Definitely do not send her in! Do you mean she was sick just this night and early hours of the morning? And you want to send her Thursday? That’s not even really 24hours? I think it’s selfish if you do that she can pass on just before many families will be going on holiday and potentially getting flights abroad etc!
I know it’s sad but there’s not much you can do! Perhaps do your own celebration on Friday or the weekend or arrange something with any of her friends there for in the summer holidays

JenniferBarkley · 19/07/2023 06:55

The 48 hour rule is sacrosanct. So many families will have holidays etc planned for this weekend, it's worse to break it this week than normal.

Bit miserable for your DD but needs to be done I'm afraid.

WoWsers16 · 19/07/2023 06:55

I'd want to send my boy in too so totally understand! 😂

As a teacher I know so many parents don't follow the rules- so easy when asking the children and they don't lie - it happens so often unfortunately, Infact one child in my class has been sick but I know they will be coming on the school trip tomorrow even though it's not been 48 hours.
So you will not be the only one OP xx

WeWereInParis · 19/07/2023 06:56

JustAnotherDayWorkingAtHome · 19/07/2023 06:50

Personally I think 24 hours clear of vomiting is fine. That even was the rule back when my kids were in nursery. I think you are much more contagious before an ms during.

NHS website "stay off school or work until you have not been sick or had diarrhoea for at least 2 days. This is when you're most infectious"

Stomach bugs are not most contagious before and during, they're most contagious during and immediately after.

Dacadactyl · 19/07/2023 06:57

SomeOfThesePostsAreRidiculous · 19/07/2023 05:41

Message from an actual experienced mother...Ages 23,21 and 19..
If your kiddo feels sick,lethargic or just yuck don't send them. If they are puking and have uncontrollable diarrhea,obviously, you don't send them.
But if your young one feels better, regardless of precious other parents,let them enjoy the day.

Show quote history

I agree with this. My kids are 11 and 16.

namechange55465 · 19/07/2023 06:57

Lougle · 19/07/2023 06:41

'Not technically 48 hours' might apply if she was sick at 11am on Tuesday, so should stay off until 11am on Thursday, but preschool starts at 9am.

'Not technically 48 hours' does not apply when she was sick at 5am on Wednesday, which means that you'd be sending her in 20 hours early. That's just breaking the rules.

Yeah, this. I'd send if she'd been sick on Tuesday and nothing since say early Tuesday afternoon. But you're basically halving the time - that's not ok.

ConnieTucker · 19/07/2023 06:58

Monkeynuts57 · 19/07/2023 06:53

Oh my! Definitely do not send her in! Do you mean she was sick just this night and early hours of the morning? And you want to send her Thursday? That’s not even really 24hours? I think it’s selfish if you do that she can pass on just before many families will be going on holiday and potentially getting flights abroad etc!
I know it’s sad but there’s not much you can do! Perhaps do your own celebration on Friday or the weekend or arrange something with any of her friends there for in the summer holidays

How is that not even 24 hours?!

when they get to high school, we often dont even send them home if they hVe been sick at school. Here is a sick bucket, off back to class with you.

id send her in if she looks better.

ConnieTucker · 19/07/2023 06:59

WeWereInParis · 19/07/2023 06:56

NHS website "stay off school or work until you have not been sick or had diarrhoea for at least 2 days. This is when you're most infectious"

Stomach bugs are not most contagious before and during, they're most contagious during and immediately after.

Show quote history

But people dont have a week off with d&c.

Escapetofrance · 19/07/2023 07:00

See how she is today. So many parents send their sick children to school -it’s not right at all, but you wouldn’t be the first.practice lots of hand washing and good hygiene with her.

kayserah · 19/07/2023 07:01

I think you want her to go in more for yourself than she would want to.

My daughter missed the last two weeks of her time in year 6 due to covid. (Wasn’t even her with covid) We were heartbroken as her end of primary school
experience was taken away from her. So I can understand why you are upset. But the rules are there for a reason.

Would you want another child getting sick from your child and potentially not being allowed to get on a flight for a much needed holiday?

CarPour · 19/07/2023 07:01

SomeOfThesePostsAreRidiculous · 19/07/2023 05:41

Message from an actual experienced mother...Ages 23,21 and 19..
If your kiddo feels sick,lethargic or just yuck don't send them. If they are puking and have uncontrollable diarrhea,obviously, you don't send them.
But if your young one feels better, regardless of precious other parents,let them enjoy the day.

Show quote history

I'm not sure how having 3 kids means you know better than the science

People with vomiting bugs are still infectious up to 48hrs after their last vomit. Irrelevant of how they are feeling.

Your DD is probably only missing their party because some selfish fucker felt they knew better because they were an 'experienced mother'.