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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband and tea

121 replies

ata345 · 18/07/2023 20:07

Big row with DH was I unreasonable....

I always make dinner and usually cook from scratch. I made dinner dished it up and called DH to say it was ready.

DH is upstairs playing xbox.

He doesn't come so I call again and again he doesn't come. I'm getting annoyed now so call and say it is on the table ready and to come down.

He comes all sweary and angry saying I treat him like a little boy or dog saying he should come down for dinner. I told him it is disrespectful and rude not to come down when someone has made you tea and you're just playing xbox.

Who is in the wrong!?

OP posts:
BlondeFool · 18/07/2023 20:07

He's sounds seriously rude and ungrateful.

Emmamoo89 · 18/07/2023 20:08

He's definitely in the wrong! What an arsehole

Noodlehen · 18/07/2023 20:09

The fact your husband plays Xbox is a big enough ick for me never mind his poor attitude.

next time, tell him dinners in the dog seen as he feels like one

FOJN · 18/07/2023 20:12

Tell him but to to behave like a child then.

It's really not unreasonable to think your husband might join to eat the dinner you cooked.

Does he expect you to plate up for him and then eat alone whilst prioritises his x-box and reheats his later?

VeryQuaintIrene · 18/07/2023 20:13

Stop cooking for this lazy, disrespectful man child and let him get his dinners on his own schedule if he can't tear himself away from the Xbox.

Catcatcatcatcat · 18/07/2023 20:13

Did you mistype DH for 13 year old DS?

Actually, that’s offensive to teens.

He is an ungrateful knob, but I am guessing this isn’t the only example of that?

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 18/07/2023 20:14

Why do you make dinner? Is it because he thinks the one with a vagina has to do it?

Nothingbuttheglory · 18/07/2023 20:14

He is in the wrong.

Next time I'd tell him once it was ready and let his go cold.

Please tell me in every other way he's a nice man, does at least his share of the housework and, if you have kids, that he does at least his share of the parenting.

Luxell934 · 18/07/2023 20:15

Next time call him once and if he doesn’t come just eat yours. If he’s still not down, put his into the bin. The next day only make dinner for you.

Talipesmum · 18/07/2023 20:15

Don’t want to make excuses for feckless husband, but I find with Xbox it goes a lot more smoothly if I give a warning “ready in 20 mins” then say when it’s ready so they don’t start up a new game or something when it’s nearly tea time. If he knew what time it was going to be ready he’s totally unreasonable. If not it can be v annoying to stop in the middle of something - I know it’s only a game but it can be annoying.

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 18/07/2023 20:16

Boils my piss when I cook a meal and end up eating most of it alone. I think it's bloody rude. I agree, call once then leave it out. He can eat it cold.

Luxell934 · 18/07/2023 20:17

Talipesmum · 18/07/2023 20:15

Don’t want to make excuses for feckless husband, but I find with Xbox it goes a lot more smoothly if I give a warning “ready in 20 mins” then say when it’s ready so they don’t start up a new game or something when it’s nearly tea time. If he knew what time it was going to be ready he’s totally unreasonable. If not it can be v annoying to stop in the middle of something - I know it’s only a game but it can be annoying.

This would be totally reasonable for a teenager. For a grown adult man who is her husband? Not so much.

Screamingabdabz · 18/07/2023 20:17

Why do you “always make dinner and usually cook from scratch”?

I can’t fault his argument tbh, you’re basically acting like mother and son.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 18/07/2023 20:18

That’s be the last meal I cooked for him.

ata345 · 18/07/2023 20:19

Nothingbuttheglory · 18/07/2023 20:14

He is in the wrong.

Next time I'd tell him once it was ready and let his go cold.

Please tell me in every other way he's a nice man, does at least his share of the housework and, if you have kids, that he does at least his share of the parenting.

He actually does!

To me this is a hill to die on - I find it so disrespectful! 🙈

OP posts:
Luxell934 · 18/07/2023 20:19

Screamingabdabz · 18/07/2023 20:17

Why do you “always make dinner and usually cook from scratch”?

I can’t fault his argument tbh, you’re basically acting like mother and son.

Some women do actually like to cook you know, I always cook. Not because I have to but because I enjoy it and I’m good at it. I cook and husband does dishes.

ata345 · 18/07/2023 20:20

Talipesmum · 18/07/2023 20:15

Don’t want to make excuses for feckless husband, but I find with Xbox it goes a lot more smoothly if I give a warning “ready in 20 mins” then say when it’s ready so they don’t start up a new game or something when it’s nearly tea time. If he knew what time it was going to be ready he’s totally unreasonable. If not it can be v annoying to stop in the middle of something - I know it’s only a game but it can be annoying.

Don't they pause (I have never played!)

OP posts:
itsmylife7 · 18/07/2023 20:20

He's lucky you cook for him.

I'd just plate his up next time and leave it to go cold,while I ate my hot dinner.

ata345 · 18/07/2023 20:20

I cook because I don't mind doing it but he hates it!

OP posts:
cocksstrideintheevening · 18/07/2023 20:21

It is disrespectful. Stop cooking for him.

It's a basic standard I expect from my young kids to turn up for a dinner I've cooked.

cocksstrideintheevening · 18/07/2023 20:22

Talipesmum · 18/07/2023 20:15

Don’t want to make excuses for feckless husband, but I find with Xbox it goes a lot more smoothly if I give a warning “ready in 20 mins” then say when it’s ready so they don’t start up a new game or something when it’s nearly tea time. If he knew what time it was going to be ready he’s totally unreasonable. If not it can be v annoying to stop in the middle of something - I know it’s only a game but it can be annoying.

Fuck that, why pander to an adult

ata345 · 18/07/2023 20:22

I get the leave it to go cold but shouldn't he just come and eat a meal cooked for him - is it me? I just find it so disrespectful!

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 18/07/2023 20:23

Did he know you were cooking and it would be ready soon?

ata345 · 18/07/2023 20:23

NoSquirrels · 18/07/2023 20:23

Did he know you were cooking and it would be ready soon?

Yep he took the foil off while I gave our toddler a bedtime cuddle

OP posts:
FoodFann · 18/07/2023 20:25

VeryQuaintIrene · 18/07/2023 20:13

Stop cooking for this lazy, disrespectful man child and let him get his dinners on his own schedule if he can't tear himself away from the Xbox.

And watch the relationship crumble away to nothing?

OP, it sounds like you’re working hard to maintain a meal together each day, which is really important for your relationship IMHO.

Maybe ask him, if he would prefer to have a pot noodle with his xbox, and not spend the mealtime together, when would he like to be with you without any screens? If the answer is ‘never’, then sadly, this doesn’t sound like a decent relationship