Husband and tea

[ata345]

Big row with DH was I unreasonable....

I always make dinner and usually cook from scratch. I made dinner dished it up and called DH to say it was ready.

DH is upstairs playing xbox.

He doesn't come so I call again and again he doesn't come. I'm getting annoyed now so call and say it is on the table ready and to come down.

He comes all sweary and angry saying I treat him like a little boy or dog saying he should come down for dinner. I told him it is disrespectful and rude not to come down when someone has made you tea and you're just playing xbox.

Who is in the wrong!?

Behave like a child get treated like a child. Your manchild gives me the ick

Just cook for yourself if he doesn't like the inconvenience of being told his meal is ready.

I would also die on this hill

Im not sure I could get past the idea of having an husband who goes off to play Xbox like a 12 year old whilst I cook but appreciate that’s unpopular.

But yes, dinner is ready then he comes to eat it with you whilst it’s warm. Letting a meal go cold because he is mid game when he knew you were near to serving up is childish and very disrespectful.

I wouldn’t be cooking for him again if he argues his case here.

Don't they pause (I have never played!)

It depends on the game. It's it's a fully online game then no, you can't pause.

I would just shout him once and tell him it's ready. He shouldn't have been a dick to you. Definitely not. But he might have been in the middle of something as PP says.

Sometimes the games can pause but often they don’t. Depends what you’re playing. I mean, you can always just stop and leave, but lots can’t be paused, you just lose.

If he knew when it was likely to be ready, having taken the foil off, it’s really disrespectful. He’s old enough to manage his own time. If dinner is coming up then don’t get involved in a game you can’t pause.

But also yeah if he knew roughly when dinner was going to be ready, he should've prepared to stop earlier.

It's one of the many reasons I have an exh! Drove me crazy

He’s the one acting like a child by not coming when you’ve very kindly cooked dinner. My 11 yo is more respectful!

Of course he’s rude. My teen did this all the time. Id have to go upstairs to call him because he wouldn’t hear me otherwise (loud gaming like your h). Advice from pp to tell once and let it go cold is best.

Also, I remembered we’d bought this big dinner bell at a sale probably 20 years ago. I dug it out and attached it on the wall. That thing is loud and it works. My teen hears it and comes down. Not sure of the psychology aspect of how that gets results but hey 😂

I struggle to get past grown men playing on their x boxes for hours on end too so if he had said that to me I would have answered he is acting like a teenager. Where is the offer of help or laying the table? Does he at least clear up afterwards. My DH takes turns with cooking tea and he would hate it if I did not come immediately to eat it with him while it is hot and vice versa.

I would not cook for him again unless he shows more consideration and tell him why.

Is your husband a 14 year old boy because he sounds like it.

Pausing depends on what game he's playing.

I give DH a 5min warning then a dishing up warning. Then I eat without him if he's not there. After a big fall out about how fucking disrespectful not coming when called is, we have reached this a a compromise.

I cook because I choose to eat a meal I know is palatable and which doesn't require me attending to him ten times and hour while he rants and raves in the kitchen over whether a teaspoon and a tablespoon are the same thing.... He's dyslexic and can't read comfortably, so we've had some atrocious experiments from cook books 😂😂😂

This an absolute pet hate of mine. If someone has taken the time to cook food for you, you bloody well go and get it when you’re told it’s ready.

What's wrong with playing Xbox? I'm 38 and know plenty men my age who play Xbox and are still grown up and not rude twats

LOL at all the 'men playing Xbox' comments. As a video gamer myself is it just men that's icky, or also women? MN sees all video gamers as losers when a lot of them are programmers making quite good money.
Also unlikely to cheat as they don't go anywhere!

YANBU OP but a 20 min warning would be helpful. People being late when called annoys me but as a gamer myself I understand the annoyance.

Yeah i do that with my 12 year old aswel 🙄

This

Sounds like my 9 and 12yo.

I disagree that gamers are unlikely to cheat. Selfish people are selfish across the board, in more than one aspect of their behaviour. Disrespecting their wife in the home is easily replicated elsewhere.

My dh used to play PlayStation when he was younger, started by it being something he did with our kids. But online gaming can be a bit addictive imo and before you know it, it's sucking all your spare time. I'm glad my dh outgrew it eventually. I think what did it tbh, is me discovering MN and getting sucked into here and suddenly being less available or needing his company less because I had the company of you guys. I think it made him see how I felt.

But yes, you are right. If you've made the effort to cook, the least he can do is eat with you when it's ready - you aren't staff!

He comes all sweary and angry saying I treat him like a little boy or dog saying he should come down for dinner.

Well - he can cook his own dinner then, can’t he…..? He sounds like a petulant kid, to be honest.

I think it's more because they behave like OPS DH fairly frequently

And a man who doesn't go anywhere is not attractive.

Ops DH is an adult, I'm sure he can cope with ending a game early.

He's so out of order. I'd start splitting cooking duty or let him cook his own.

My husband can be the same. So I call once now and if his dinners cold it's cold. I don't wait anymore

If he's playing online, against/with others then no he can't pause the game, and stopping in the middle of the game means the whole 'team' is ruined.
We give our ds a time line so he knows when tea will be ready and your original comment about calling/recalling is our house most nights because he doesn't plan forward ie think about how much time is left , is there time for a game / should I start a.new game.

HOWEVER .he is 14 and expected To be self centred. What I dong i get is that you have a toddler, you were cooking and he decided that was a good time play know his xbox. Doe s he often concentrate on just himself at a time of day when most families are working/busy with family life?

Yanbu. I am going through the same and I am about done with it all. Work, Xbox, sleep, repeat. My 14 year old DS has more conversation.

It's basic manners to come and eat dinner when it's ready,he is being an arsehole you are "treating him like a child" because he's basically an overgrown teenager.