Husband and tea

[ata345]

Big row with DH was I unreasonable....

I always make dinner and usually cook from scratch. I made dinner dished it up and called DH to say it was ready.

DH is upstairs playing xbox.

He doesn't come so I call again and again he doesn't come. I'm getting annoyed now so call and say it is on the table ready and to come down.

He comes all sweary and angry saying I treat him like a little boy or dog saying he should come down for dinner. I told him it is disrespectful and rude not to come down when someone has made you tea and you're just playing xbox.

Who is in the wrong!?

He's ungrateful. Playing on his XBox - sounds like a teenager. Not coming for his dinner when called - like a teenager. Being angry when he eventually comes down - like a teenager. When my teenage sons were like that, I used to unplug the bloody thing.

Don't make him dinner anymore the ungrateful toad 🤬

The comment was obviously tongue in cheek 🤣
But ... How many video gamers do you personally know to declare that they behave frequently like OPs DH? Other than on here?
People only post to complain.

I'm a software developer and most of my colleagues game. All full functional adults and great catches too judging by the amount of cooking and laundry discussions. Of course you can't tell.

My own DH is a great catch. However he also comes down immediately for dinner so no issues there

Don't cook dinner for him, actually start eating out regularly each week. He probably wouldn't notice you gone and that will tell you what your next steps should be.

Stop cooking make your own

Indeed! And I am 50 now.

My partner does say he is cooking whatever and it will be ready in 20 mins -so I'd know not to bother booting up Xbox for 20 mins if not currently playing or to wrap things up if I am

I don't play online so it's easy to pause if I want to play after dinner (or stuck in a bit where I can't save)

If he is doing an organised online slot with friends it's probably best to ask if he wants dinner tonight or if he will just get toast later? (And another night he cooks and op does her own thing). Ie treat him like he is a night out with friends, even if he actually is at home in another room.

Any man who got sweary and angry with me when I had cooked for them would find their dinner shoved up their arse. Also Ick ick ick - Xbox - is he a child?

Why is video gaming seen as a children/teenager hobby?

If you were busy doing your hobby whatever it might be, surely sometimes you are in the middle of something and it's inconvenient to stop straight away?

I wouldn't appreciate my dh making dinner and expecting me to cut my run/walk/piano playing session short so why is it different just because video gaming is seen as some kind of childish activity only kids can enjoy?

Op your husband sounds like he was a little rude but I can empathise with the fact that stopping may not have been convenient and you should give him a 20 minute warning. Similarly if I were planning a run or other activity I'd have a chat with my other half to confirm dinner timings.

Sometimes my OH cooks and I’m not hungry yet or vice versa. If that happens we just make each other a plate and put in the fridge to be reheated as and when.

Sometimes we want food that the other doesn’t like (ie he wants something that’s like a bajillion calories and I want veggie soup!) in which case we make separate food. No biggie.

Point is - there is never any pressure to eat anything you don’t want to. And there’s no pressure to eat at a particular time. We all have our own hunger levels, diets, cravings etc.

To be honest if someone made me something and insisted I came and ate at a particular time I would feel a bit like a child.

No excuse for his behaviour of course. He didn’t handle it well at all.

True

A man who sulked because he demanded his wife come and eat right now when she was say in the middle of a knitting row or sewing a dress or doing their online yoga class would be considered controlling and red flags ahoy.

I agree.

I mean shouting and swearing is of course unacceptable.

But you are his partner not his parent.

Back when I had five to feed, we had a gong. Worked really well. 😂

Well if he's in his room playing games like a 12 year old,he should be treated like one.

He's behaving like an over grown child. What a turn off! 🤮

Gamers are fine. Gamers who act like children and allow gaming to take over their lives - are losers!

Man child alert.
Stop making dinner for him. Consider swapping his X-box for a train set and megablocks, then it'll be crystal clear what the 'unreasonable' bit is in your relationship.

Why would it be reasonable to be running up and down the stairs while cooking dinner for someone, in order to give them a running countdown of how long they've got until they have to turn off their games console and come and sit up like a big boy and eat their din dins, to prevent a tantrum if you don't give adequate warning?

This shit blows my mind. Maybe a good idea for a young child absorbed in some lego. For an adult? No. If he's expecting you to go to bed with him after all this and treat him like a grown man, then don't be running round after him in the day like a toddler. The two aren't compatible.

They can't pause when they're playing online, but assuming you're not serving dinner unexpectedly at 10pm or something, who starts an online game when they know it's about dinner time?

I'm the same OP in that I do all the cooking (because I'm better at it, it's not a vagina thing!) and my husband is usually doing something else (dishwasher, laundry, tidying etc) while I'm cooking.

He is normally appreciative but I remember one occasion when he sat down to the food and his first comment was something about there not being enough. I told him that most people say thank you when they've been cooked for every day of their bloody lives. He apologised and has never done it again.

(NB I have zero problem with him saying stuff like that or telling me if he doesn't like anything etc, but say thanks first!!)

Show me a woman who starts knitting with loud earphones on while dinner is being cooked, and loses her shit when the chef interrupts her to invite her to come and eat and you will show me a) a rarity, and b) an unreasonable woman.

YANBU, it is rude and even ruder yo start up a game when he roughly knows dinner will be ready sometime soon, he should be on hand to help dish up, make drinks or set the table.
Nothing wrong with gamers in general but ones that act like this are pathetic.

I'd just call him once, making sure he has heard, and then get on with eating myself. It absolutely is rude of him and disrespectful, and he wants his dinner to go cold it's his problem.

Really rude.

I wouldn't want my child around someone who thinks that is appropriate behaviour.

Tae a break from making food for him.

How manchilds like this get women to procreate with them is beyond me.

Men who game should come with a warning.

Any adult male who spends his evenings playing games is unreasonable, full stop.

They are obviously not personally going to declare themselves to be a childish twat are they?

But yet vast swathes of partners of men who game (not just on MN) complain about this sort of thing.

DH works in quite a geeky male industry, and quite often comes home shocked by the selfishness of his colleagues, including their gaming habits. So some men definitely admit to shit behaviour

This is on you for marrying a 14 year old op