What does success look like to you?

[Aquestioningmind]

Inspired by people thinking £65K isn’t much money…what does ‘success’ look like to you? Below is what I consider to be ‘successful’. So, AIBU? If so, why?

30: Own a house, mortgaged, or at least significantly saving towards one (either alone or in a couple). A career that they either love (even if it doesn’t pay well) and makes them really happy, or one that pays a decent amount of money. Able to have ‘treats’ when they want to but not necessarily living a really luxurious life.

65/retirement age: Paid off mortgage or v. close to paying it off. Decent savings for retirement. Able to support any children as needed (I.e helping them with small loans - we’re not talking ‘£400K house deposit’)

Would also be interested to know what other people consider ‘success’ to be at those ages!

30s: Being able to get up in the morning and getting my kids to school on time. Dream big.

That sounds like an admirable quest! At least summer holidays are coming…

l measure success in terms of happiness. I have enough to live on, but success is about me/my dc being happy.

Success = freedom.

There's nothing 'successful' about being indebted to banks and employers via mortgages and contracts.

Absolutely this.

Genuinely interesting question, and on reflection I would have a much more generous definition of ‘success’ for my children than I do for myself. For my kids, I want them to be able to support themselves well enough in a job they enjoy enough to have a comfortable life (nice house, eat well, able to have hobbies, etc.)

for myself I feel much more pressure to help them along with that. That means private education, and hopefully be able to give them the option of university in the us where I think long term life / career opportunity is better. I also have a pretty high target for savings before I would feel comfortable retiring. I think it is a product of growing up in poverty - I won’t ‘relax’ until I feel like I have enough for every eventuality.

If you're talking about financial success (which is the least important measure) then I would say at all stages of life it's the same. Earning enough to support your basic human needs whilst having enough time off from work to offer a happy lifestyle.

Success is freedom and happiness. Aspiring to certain material success at certain ages is silly

30 - Knowing who you are and what you want, having an idea of what you want your life to look like and either be living it or working towards it. Being able to look around you at your life and smile because you’re happy.

65 - Being able to look back at your life and smiling because you’ve really enjoyed it and, whether you’ve chosen to be a single career woman or a wife and sahm, you know that you’ve done the right thing for you and you’ve got no serious regrets.

46: my children are still “in construction” as ghey are teens but their mental health is healthy, they are engaged in schools, sports and friendships, they are happy to go away without us and explore the world. My husband is happy and changing jobs soon. I have just set up my own company after 14yrs of freelancing/stay at home mum, we have relocated very successfully to Ireland. Our mortgage is nearly over. My relationships with my older sister has improved a lot for the better. My children have fab relationships with all their cousins and grand parents and aunts/uncles.
the future is brighter and full of opportunities.

it was such hard work to get there as my mental health was very bad. But now on anti depressant for over 2yrs and on tamoxifen after a very breast cancer treatments: i am HAPPY. And I am very SUCCESSFULL.

thats my measurement of success

Falling asleep with a peaceful mind every night, waking up with enthusiasm for the day ahead.

To be at peace.

This has slightly devolved from my initial ‘financial’ orientated question but I’m finding the replies incredibly interesting!

It seems financial stability and happiness of those around us is key, rather than earning ‘big bucks’ - very reassuring!

This. It really is worth so much.

I earn very little now but I work 2. Days a week at 50. My parents were both retired at 55 with great private pensions but I am really.happy.

So success to you is all money-related. How about a decent childhood, good parents, a happy marriage and kids that are well-balanced adults carving out great lives for themselves? Just a thought

I used to see success as top marks at school, highest grade at uni, best job, highest salary.

I really, really don’t any more. I see it as being happy and content with my life.

Success is being in the process of perfecting a good character; this can be done in almost all circumstances. This is what is called The Great Work.

Precisely. The OP is money-obsessed. Every statement was about money

in addition to some of the great answers already given I would list the ability to be happy in your own skin and to forge successful and satisfying relationships with others whether, partner, family, friends or colleagues.

Yes god bless the summer hols.
I'm joking! Have a diabetic and a dc with autism so I don't get much sleep at night.

Success to me is being at peace and not
comparing myself to anyone as it means I'm happy in life.
I used to compare myself to everyone and it rocketed my mental health really low.
Now I take each day as it comes, long as I have a sense of humour and my kids are healthy & happy that is all that really matters to me.

To me, success is only really about having a happy family.

As a bonus, owning a house (mortgaged) and having some money put away. We have been homeowners since 25, so have achieved that as well.

Im not at all bothered about having a successful career at the minute, but will have time for this when kids grown up if I want (i'll only be 44 when youngest is 18)

If my kids were unhappy I would be gutted and it wouldn't matter what else I'd achieved tbh.

1, For those who have grown up in financial comfort and following the modelling of those around them: happiness because money doesn’t matter.

2, For those growing up without financial comfort and support from family, enough money not to worry and to be able to provide their children with enough comfort afforded to those who grew up in the environment of the first example. Of course, for the second example, those people have to work a lot harder at life and to overcome a lot of social barriers.

And then the cycle starts again where the children of those in example 2 morph into the children of those in example 1 and become oblivious to the plight of those parents in example 2.

Very simplistic I know but it is MN!

*@Perplexed0 i agree withbyou completely but your post is oblivious to the fact that you can grow up in financial comfort and still have a lot of mental health issues.
life is never as simplistic as 1 and 2 even on mumsnet.

to be successful for me in my definition required sheer grafting, pulling up my sleeves and wanting from the bottom
of my heart to want to get better, to give my children what I had never received in emotional support, to give them a positive self esteem and resilience, to achieve something for myself and for my family, to be proud again of myself as I am cery ambitious and to stay alive when I could have died from cancer.

so here you go life is never easy and syraighforward.

Being happy, brought up nice children who are happy adults. Bring able to have a positive outlook on life