What does success look like to you?

[Aquestioningmind]

Inspired by people thinking £65K isn’t much money…what does ‘success’ look like to you? Below is what I consider to be ‘successful’. So, AIBU? If so, why?

30: Own a house, mortgaged, or at least significantly saving towards one (either alone or in a couple). A career that they either love (even if it doesn’t pay well) and makes them really happy, or one that pays a decent amount of money. Able to have ‘treats’ when they want to but not necessarily living a really luxurious life.

65/retirement age: Paid off mortgage or v. close to paying it off. Decent savings for retirement. Able to support any children as needed (I.e helping them with small loans - we’re not talking ‘£400K house deposit’)

Would also be interested to know what other people consider ‘success’ to be at those ages!

That’s because it’s inspired by a thread about how many people felt £65K wasn’t much! My question was at what point is someone successful in terms of money. It even says that in the OP, if you don’t like it…go away.

At 50, the only success I am currently seeking is contentment. I don’t crave material items anymore, I just want to live peacefully and without the current stresses I have in my life.

For me it would be to get my disabled child to a point where they can live independently and not be too vulnerable before I die. Some people live in a world where money, careers and homes mean nothing. Just because you have them, doesn’t mean you are happy or successful. It’s a tough lessons to learn.

Charming, and from someone who has to check their bank balance to see how “happy” they’re going to be today. How shallow you are. Read some of the other posts for a bit of clarity.

From the song "Happiness" by Ken Dodd...

"...When you go to measuring my success,
Don't count my money, count my happiness!"

Your thread title doesn’t mention the word money (the irony).

Me and DH are both employed by the local authority. We have worked in our jobs long enough to have a good degree of autonomy and holidays. Have over paid mortgage enough to hopefully be mortgage free in 5 years (early 40s). I've seen people who are promoted or self employed work themselves into the ground. Not worth it. We have a nice life because we have TIME together. Not a lot of money.

I agree with success being freedom and happiness, but think money and financial stability is pretty intrinsically linked to that, however you cut it.

for me I don’t measure success on what job you do , the size of your house, the type of car you drive or how much savings you have.

Success for me is contentment and happiness.

30s - being able to make it through the day!!

40s-retirement!!

I feel as if my life is fairly successful

It's more than just financials but it does help. We have a lovely house with a mortgage, we have 2 kids who we adore, a combined income of 130k a year (yes I appreciate this helps with the 'success')

We have a small group of friends who we are happy with, a great family on my partners side and we're able to afford nice things in life

We're happy in our relationship and we can see a positive future for both ourselves and our children

I'm 28 and he's 33 and we have high hopes to make our lives the best we can together with our babies!

That’s my assessment.

Of course success is being happy, but can you be happy if you are stressed and stretched financially? And if not, at what point are you ‘successful’ and able to be happy.

I said in my OP that I would consider myself to be successful in a job even if I was not earning much and just paying bills as long as I was happy. But would others consider that ‘successful’? Probably not (if they are honest!)

Your post sums it up well!

Success can be different in different aspects of our life.

1. Being in a relationship that makes you happy. Feeling loved everyday.
2. Being content in other spheres of your life like at work as well as at home.
3. Good positive relationships with loved ones. Having support around you. Good friends.
4. Being comfortable financially so being in a stable well paid job you enjoy. Having enough money to pay for basics but some left for having fun.
5. Having savings in case you need them. Enough to pay 1 year of bills.
6. Owning your own home that is big enough for your family.
7. Extras, so having enough to afford a lovely holiday or landscape your garden or have a cleaner. Things you could manage without but like to have.
8. Holiday home to travel to when fancy takes you.

Interesting thread OP. I’ve been pondering this lately. I’m about to turn 40 and by your definition of success, I’m a complete failure. I also feel like a failure myself.

It’s also interesting to read that people view success with materialistic things.

I’m disabled by an illness that robs me of energy. I’m chronically exhausted and as a result, I’m unfit and miserable. I live in a rental with my 3 children; two of whom also have life impacting disabilities.

We don’t have savings, we will be screwed in retirement, but I’m also at the point now where I don’t really care anymore.

When I’m dead, that’s it, I’m dead. Gone. End of.

Who is going to care what house I lived in? Or what car I drove? Or whether I paid my mortgage off before I retired? The only thing any of us can take with us is our memories and they are more precious than anything money can buy.

I think like this now because I often become frustrated when I’m so exhausted that I can’t go on the trip away, or I can’t participate in the gym class with my friends. I have no choice but to live like this , so I have to make the most of it.

We’re all born the same , we all die the same. Born with nothing. Die with nothing.

Success to me, is if you can live out your most vulnerable, final moments thinking about the happiest times. If you’ve experienced happiness , then you’ve succeeded in life.

Also you can be very successful in some spheres of life but not so in others. A good school friends brother is a highly successful business man. He owns a fab house and has a helicopter. His wife died after they were married for 3 years and he has never found anyone else to fit into his life. My friend has tried to set him up with people many times but he says no one could ever replace his wife so he will stay alone.

I was being flippant but your stance is admirable. You are a good person!

I've been a poor 16 year old living alone in a cold flat in central london working in a cafe and living off baked beans and coffee but happy, with a great social life and content in my solitary life.

I'm happy now, married with 4 kids and one on the way, in a big house with complete financial security, family and friends.

Success to me is being happy where you are- that doesn't always mean having a great job and perfect angelic children.

To me it is raising a happy child who feels confident and equipped to make her own way in the world. To keep a roof over our heads and hopefully be mortgage free in 7 years. To keep living in our lovely village with fields and woods to walk through and clear my head.
I don't care about material things at all, to me they aren't indicators of happiness or success.
I realise that all of these things come with financial security so to be able to reach retirement with that financial security in place.

Agreed!

I worked in the service industry for years. Was I happy then? Yes.

Am I more ‘successful’ now by traditional standards that I’ve listed in my OP? Yes. Am I happier? I’m not sure.

If you're not using it to mean wealthy then it simply means you've achieved something you set out to achieve.

I've only ever set out to be happy and I've actually achieved that so consider myself successful in life.

Success to me is achieving something against all odds. It doesn’t matter what it is.

If you've got enough to live on, with enough for the odd treat and you don't have to count the pennies in the supermarket - that's success enough for me. And, above all, being satisfied with your lot.

Because not everyone values being married and having children.

More likely on ‘Mumsnet’ though :-)

working in exciting creative projects where I completely manage my time. And travelling throughout the year as a digital nomad working online.