To make new mum life easier?

[Animallover87]

Due my first baby next month.

I know it'll be a huge life change and I'm keen to try and protect my mental health as far as possible by taking steps to make life a bit easier.

For example, I'm not going to try and breastfeed. I've bought a prep machine and was considering just using ready made formula for out and about to avoid faff.

Having a planned c section which most people seem to recover fairly quickly from and allows me to feel a bit more in control of what's going to happen.

Next 2 me on my DHs side of the bed so he can do the lifting baby etc during the night if I'm struggling with movement after c section at the beginning.

Any other tips, even if unpopular, to make life easier for myself as a first time mum?

A c section is major abdominal surgery and restricts you for a period of time after birth. You will be in pain. I don't think this is really the easier option.

It sounds like you're quite anxious and are making choices to help you feel as in control as possible. I get that, I am anxious too and considered your choices because i wanted to feel in control. The uncertainty of everything was hard for me (even second time). However I went ahead with vaginal birth both times and breastfed both times. It sounds like you're birth is close and you are fully decided, which is a shame becuase you're going against everything your body is designed to do and some counselling or hypnobirthing may have helped your mindset. Breastfeeding although painful at first and difficult for many, if it goes well then the pain subsides and it's easier than bottle feeding. You don't have to get out of bed at all to feed them! I can't imagine having to faff about with bottles during the night, prep or no prep machine. I think now you have made those choices you need to try and relax and go with the flow, you can't always make things easier. It will be hard whatever you decide. Try baby wearing if they won't settle (sling/carrier- but this may not be possible straight away after c section). Rest whenever possible and remember everything it a phase and it will get easier. X

I'm too lazy to formula feed. Vaginal deliveries are quicker to recover from (unless you haemorrhage or get an infection etc, which are more likely with a section anyway. Source: I've been a midwife for nearly 20 years), in some cases you can have a 6 hour discharge.
Co-sleep, baby wear. Get someone else to do the rest. Get Gousto boxes or takeaway for a month if you have to. Hire a cleaner if you can afford it, or hand the vacuum over to visitors!

Get a nightnurse, full time nanny and a housekeeper. That will sort you out.

I would say look into the special supports/underwear and clothing for c sections as it can be quite sore to have anything touching the scar for quite a while.

Make yourself loads of meals and freeze them now so you don't end up on endless takeaways!

Why are people going on about the CS and bottle feeding? These are the choices she has made. She hasn't asked for people to judge her reasons. She's asking for other tips that will help a post-CS mother with her bottlefed baby.

Laxatives or stool softeners. You don't want to have to put in effort to poop after surgery nor do you want to get backed-up if you're taking codeine-based pain relief.

Breast feeding is way easier and less faff than bottle feeding and I never breastfed.

Having a planned c section

Don't you need to have compelling reasons to have a planned C section?

It seems odd to choose to bring a baby into the world and then decide not to breastfeed just so that life is easier (supposedly).

Having just came out the haze of the newborn phase this is my 2 pence worth.

I found FF much easier. I really tried to breastfeed for the first month and my mental health took an absolute dive. After I switched to bottles it was significantly better, although my husband is very involved in all aspects which helped with sharing the feeds etc.

I also had an emergency c section and as long as you take it easy in the first two weeks, recovery wasn’t too bad. I rushed it and ended up with an infection but other than needing antibiotics I was ok.

Don’t worry about house work or cooking - if you can delegate it out or have take away. I’m diet controlled diabetic so usually have a very strict diet, I gave myself the first 3 months to eat whatever was easiest/quickest options. I wanted tj batch cook but the tiredness in the third trimester was really something else.

Opted for a C-section over an induction for the reason you mention and zero regrets about my decision. Second all the advice you've received about mobilising quickly and taking your pain management to a schedule, it definitely helped me loads.

Sling was my No 1 lifesaver with a newborn, particularly if you have a baby who loves to contact nap. Get the freezerstocked now and consider setting up a standing online shop - we used an Ocado Reserved slot to make life as easy as possible.

Why are people going on about the CS and bottle feeding? These are the choices she has made. She hasn't asked for people to judge her reasons. She's asking for other tips that will help a post-CS mother with her bottlefed baby.

Questioning the choices someone has made is reasonable IMO, especially then the people responding have experience.

Oh also - high waisted elastic trousers and a jumper/ t shirt is the best for c section wound.

I had to walk linearly a mile from my c section to baby ( they were neo natal for months and I had a severe post partum illness so was in a different hospital

but walk walk walk. I was up in 4 hours and I had a brilliant recovery though I didn’t have any pain from mine. I wasn’t even sore. (The issue was nerves for me). But i was driving within a few days.

@Animallover87 if you do ff, please research the safe methods of making up a bottle and the reasons why they are what they are.

some of the ‘advice’ on here isn’t great. While the posters might have done this and ‘gotten away with it’, incorrectly making up formula can lead to some very nasty infections in babies. In the worst cases they can be VERY serious.

Only you can decide which risks your comfortable with and some shortcuts are lower risk than others.

just to be clear I’m not saying formula or formula feeding is dangerous. I’m saying incorrectly making it or storing it can be.

Sorry but why have a child if you want it easy. Babies aren't easy. I get it you don't want to breastfeed but formula isn't easier than breastfeeding. You have to make the bottles, wash the bottles, sterilise the bottles, buy the formula, buy multiple formulas in case baby doesn't like one you bought
Maybe get a nanny?
Why next to me on other side surely your partner be going back to work after 2w he will need sleep.

Reading the replies nobody else seemed to find a c section painless…….

hmm. Maybe discard my previous advice

Why is that reasonable when she hasn't asked for opinions on it? It has no more relevance than asking her why she's having a baby. She's having a baby. She's having a CS. It's none of your business why.

I mean I disagree re the section. Found recovery far quicker with my 4th degree tear....just saying.

Can we not shame people for bottle feeding!!! So many reason why and they shouldn't have to be explained

@Animallover87 I bottle fed from the beginning. I had enough bottles for the entire day, so there was only a need to wash and sterilise bottles once a day. It wasn't that big a faff for me tbh. You can't really buy too many bottles until the baby is born because seemingly some babies don't take to some bottles (didn't happen us, we used Mam bottles, but have heard it happening to friends). Don't buy too many smaller sizes though because they don't need them for too long. I also used the prep machine, it's great!

Start stocking up on nappies. We bought one pack per weekly shop and built up a nice stock without having too much of an increase in the bill.

Defo buy dodees. Life savers!!! And super cute.

I second whoever have suggested just vests and suits for clothes. The odd time she was in leggings and a t-shirt but dresses are a pain in the arse!

We actually bought a diary and tracked feeds and nappies. I found this helpful because we had family members helping with feeding and we knew what time the baby was fed at and how much. Sometimes you might forget the time or lose track of time or not know when the last feed was if someone else gave it while you've been showering / asleep. Might sound like micromanaging but it helped us.

And one bit of advice I wish someone gave me.... Feed the baby every 3 hours doesn't mean feed them 3 hours after they have finished their last bottle, it means 3 hours from when they started their last bottle! 😅

@BadNomad because the idea that cs and ff are always easier is not true

Lots of people don't wear a sling correctly, so yes, that would be uncomfortable and painful for a c-section wound, but when worn correctly, baby will be higher up on the chest, close enough to kiss their head easily. Legs should be in frog position, never dangling, so shouldn't get in the way of the wound. Unstructured carriers are also better.

I would say don't assume it's going to necessarily be that hard. I had two DC, both breast fed and neither without their difficulties, both by emergency C section in my 40s (near dotage according to Mumsnet) with limited support from my partner and to be honest it was all absolutely fine. A lot of my friends found the same. Obviously some people will find it hard for all sorts of different reasons but it's not a dead cert. My standards were pretty low though.

The teenage years are a different matter!

Honestly find what works for you and stick to it. My experience was combi fed at the start due to a terrible recovery from a vaginal birth. So I would be doing exactly what you are doing. I ended up breastfeeding and still am at 14 months. However I kinda wish she didn't have the CMPA so I would of kept at bottles and formula.