To make new mum life easier?

[Animallover87]

Due my first baby next month.

I know it'll be a huge life change and I'm keen to try and protect my mental health as far as possible by taking steps to make life a bit easier.

For example, I'm not going to try and breastfeed. I've bought a prep machine and was considering just using ready made formula for out and about to avoid faff.

Having a planned c section which most people seem to recover fairly quickly from and allows me to feel a bit more in control of what's going to happen.

Next 2 me on my DHs side of the bed so he can do the lifting baby etc during the night if I'm struggling with movement after c section at the beginning.

Any other tips, even if unpopular, to make life easier for myself as a first time mum?

@Jeclop do you think saying "bulging belly" is acceptable? How would you feel if someone came on this thread and said that everyone they knew who had a vaginal birth had a baggy vagina now. It's just completely unnecessary.

It’s perfectly reasonable not to attempt either, for many many reasons. Have you read the thread?

No, you have misinterpreted. The OP says she is going to have an ELCS and formula feed, and asks for other tips to make life easy. She's not asking for advice on mode of birth or feeding, and has repeatedly explained that. This means that advice about either mode of birth or feeding is irrelevant.

Some of it would also be crap even if it were relevant, for example even if OP did want information on risks and benefits of planned CS, she'd be better looking at NICE than listening to people's anecdotes about their pals.

Agreed that outcomes are variable. None of my NCT group had a VB without interventions. It was either EMCS, ELCS, ventouse, or induction with epesiotomy.

However, I digress. The point is, none of this is helpful to OP as this is not what she asked for advice on. She has made her decision about birth and feeding. Her request for advice was about other things.

Yeah I have and unless there’s a medical need that stops you then it’s ridiculous.

People that book in c sections and plan to ff just to make life easier are probably the parents who let their 1 year olds watch YouTube all day and feed them processed beige food out the freezer “because it’s easier”.

what’s the point in doing something if you’re not going to even try? People have become so lazy!

Jesus Christ what a horrible generalisation. There are many reasons why OP may have chosen those routes, and done her research, listen to experiences. The fact is, if these things don’t go smoothly, the impact can be detrimental. It’s ok for a woman to feel a bit more in control.

If bottle feeding give everything at room temperature from the start so no need to warm the formula up- fill with water as soon as you finish the sterilising and you’re good to go.

Hi! I Love your approach. I pretty much did all this too. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. I have zero regrets and feel like our home life is a lot chiller and happier than others. I also think my super cheerful daughter has benefited from a happy relaxed mother.

i started out trying to do everything they tell you that you should that makes life so hard. I lasted about a week. It’s all bollocks and basically makes zero difference.

another thing I’d recommend if budget allows is scheduling a night nanny once in a while to give you both a full nights sleep. The baby sitting app i use has ads for night nanies that offer a range of fees.

This was my thinking at the time for not wanting a C-section and equally as valid as someone not wanting a vaginal birth so as to not have a saggy vagina. It may be vain but it's how I felt at the time.

I hope you're serious, because this is really funny if you are.

@Jeclop I don't care about vanity, it's your misogyny that I find distasteful.

@Pressthespacebar

omg! You really can’t bear the idea of a woman - a mother - not just thinking about her baby but also thinking of herself too!

newsflash - women who looks after themselves as well as others are actually better mothers

I don't see any misogyny in saying that surgery comes with scars and possible body disfigurement. Not related to being a woman. It's related to surgery - any kind.

'Or home life is a lot chiller and happier than others', and that's your case for not bf? What about all the super relaxed happy breast feeding mums?

*our

This is really funny @Pressthespacebar, I had an elective c-section and formula fed from birth and my children were often the only ones who weren't stuck on an iPad when we were out in a restaurant or aeroplane (or at home - we've never had one in the house or let them use our phones!). C-sections and formula feeding are absolutely nothing to do with 'lazy' parenting, as many on this thread have pointed out themselves, the choice to breast-feed is actually motivated often by laziness.

I personally think the laziest parents are the ones who refuse to get their kids into a routine at night by letting them sleep in bed with them and just 'shove a boob in their mouth' any time they cry (as parents have said on this thread) rather than work out what they actually need. But each to their own, hey!

@Jeclop if you don't think it's misogynistic to say every woman you know who has had a c-section has a "bulging belly" then I don't know what to say. I personally wouldn't comment on other women's looks in this way. I also wouldn't comment on anyone's surgery scars - it's rude and unpleasant! You can privately think you would rather not have surgery without being insulting about other people's appearances and the flaws you think they have.

Info here from first steps nutrition
https://acrobat.adobe.com/link/review?uri=urn:aaid:scds:US:22edb043-ec84-3632-8523-5604bff70a74
The safest thing if not making formula up according to the safety guidelines is ready made. It's the powder that isn't sterile

@holycannaloni what the baby needs is contact and reassurance from their mother. Not being “trained” to sleep. Fortunately the outdated view that young babies should be on a schedule is changing and being led by baby is becoming more normal.

It's a perfectly valid point to make and is truthful. And no I don't think it's misogynistic in the slightest.

@Jeclop

im not sure a vaginal birth is a guarantee of a flat belly

It's definitely not. I don't have a perfectly flat belly. The above was what was my thought process pre-kids.

@holycannaloni very much agree with you.
i probably wouldnt go as far as to say lazy because a lot of people just dont know how to do those things but yes there is huge value in putting the effort in to figuring out the night time routine and not just boobing a baby at every cry.

admittedly i was guilty of pulling out a bottle a bit too often when baby cried but my god, the time and effort i put in to hand washing, sterilising, organising and formula making was deff not lazy.

@Goldenbear I’m really not going to get into this with you, the fact is the OP has decided that a CS is the best choice for her. I gave her my genuine (and recent) experience and exactly what she asked for, which is tips to make early days as a new, FTM easier. She’s decided what is best for her, and doesn’t need horror stories to change her mind in the same way I wouldn’t comment on someone planning a vaginal birth’s post asking for advice on making their life easier as a FTM by saying “oooh you don’t want a vaginal birth, do you know how many end with stitches/assisted delivery/ a prolapse”. It’s everyone’s individual choice on what is best for them, which has already been made here. Unless you can contribute something useful about ways to make her experience as a FTM who is FF and having a c-section easier then I don’t think your opinion about the merits of one type of birth over another belongs here. Save it for someone who asks for your advice on what type of birth they should have, which this post is not.

@holycannaloni

in fair to this poster, I think it’s fair enough that her appearance factored into her decision regarding how to birth.

Too often women are expected to pretend like they don’t care about what pregnancy and birth does to your baby, to not care about having a flat stomach etc. Like they should be so happy and grateful to have a baby that they don’t care that their body has been ravaged

its as if to care about that stuff somehow makes you shallow or immature or un-maternal.

it’s total bullshit and just another way of keeping women in their place