To make new mum life easier?

[Animallover87]

Due my first baby next month.

I know it'll be a huge life change and I'm keen to try and protect my mental health as far as possible by taking steps to make life a bit easier.

For example, I'm not going to try and breastfeed. I've bought a prep machine and was considering just using ready made formula for out and about to avoid faff.

Having a planned c section which most people seem to recover fairly quickly from and allows me to feel a bit more in control of what's going to happen.

Next 2 me on my DHs side of the bed so he can do the lifting baby etc during the night if I'm struggling with movement after c section at the beginning.

Any other tips, even if unpopular, to make life easier for myself as a first time mum?

well my experience was that formula feeding was super easy, sooo.....

I found formula feeding really easy. No issues.

for you. I didn't co-sleep and formula fed. Easy for me, no issues.

I found formula feeding incredibly easy.

OP don’t listen to this post, not just because this poster has chosen to disrespect your wishes.

There are plenty of solutions that mean you don’t have to go downstairs during the night.

If you want to spend money on ready made formula, that’s your choice (I’ll be doing the same.

Pumping is not easy. It can mean twice the work.

Some babies may react to formulas. My baby was fine with cow and gate from the beginning.

The pacifier/calming thing is BOLLOCKS, as if no one who ff their baby could calm them??? Also acceptable not want to want to be used as a chew toy.

Failing at breastfeeding for 8 weeks was what impacted my MH more than anything.

Some babies (including mine) don’t latch.

And to the poster’s later point about midwife advice, it’s not always correct. My midwives told me to pump 8-12 times a day to try and keep up my supply. It didn’t work, and it was one of the things that contributed my severe decline in mental health as I was so exhausted.

Carry on OP :)

You may have found BF easier, but many many women including myself and several of my friends found the opposite. OP isn’t stupid and I’m sure she has done her research.

Someone may not try breastfeeding and know they don’t want to do it for several reasons. There was a post on here a while ago about this, and many mothers actually cited previous sexual abuse. OP doesn’t have to justify why she doesn’t want to breastfeed and it’s really sad that she’s getting all these responses.

Wow 690 responses. Instantly you know some twat has started on OP about decisions she's made about her own body. Nice. Women supporting women and all that.

I would personally not recommend a c-section. I had one & then 2 VBACs. I felt the vaginal births were much easier for recovery. I guess either way it is a risk but that was just my own experience.

Oh, totally - when we see other women potentially making a mistake and worry there might be some misunderstanding or wrong assumption, it’s oh-so-supportive to sit back and watch and not say a word 🙄

Offering advice, opinions and our experience is being supportive. The OP can read it, think about it, and take it or leave it as she wishes.

The problem is that so many of you have been unable to get past your own subjective experiences of what constitutes easier, when it comes to a matter that anyone should be able to tell is different strokes for different folks. The number of posts asserting as fact that breastfeeding is easier says it all.

If your worries come from a place of not bothering to read all the OPs posts and not being capable of comprehending that ease for some people means a feeding method they aren't solely responsible for, as they nigh on all have, that's not being supportive. Even when it's intended to be. It's centering your lack of understanding.

Good luck! I had an ELCS and it was lovely! To make life easier, I reorganised the house a bit so I would not have to rely so much on my husband after surgery. Like putting everything I would need on a daily basis at waist level to minimise bending down. I also bought milk in 2 pint bottles, decanted laundry liquid into smaller bottles and replaced the kettle with a lighter travel kettle to reduce heavier lifting. I actually felt totally fine bending after about 5 days but found lifting hard for about a month. I don't regret my ELCS at all.

Also, I found sleepsuits made my life so much easier. My baby did not wear anything else the first 3 months as I found faffing with tshirts and trousers hard. Every other baby in my NCT group was dressed in normal clothes though so may only be me who found the changing hard!

My top tip would be prepare to potentially let things go and to look after your mental well-being. I found the change from being me to mummy overwhelming at times. Fact finding now is great and your posts give the impression of some who wants to be in control (I'm the same). I learnt that all the plans I had beforehand were great but for us at that point in time when it came to it, unrealistic. I did things I swore I'd never do, but at that point in time it was right for me and the baby. So don't beat yourself up if you end up doing something you'd not planned / envisaged. At the end of the day all you need is a healthy baby and a healthy mummy (and daddy!).

That's great, no issues from me. I did bf and then FF so am commenting from both sides. As I said in my post, the OP can do as she wishes. She asked for top tips, that was one of mine. She can do with it as she wishes.

I literally stated that with my eldest I didn't find BFing easier, I felt I had insufficient supply and introduced formula so was mix feeding and then my supply dried up. My decision wasn't an informed one, it was more a resignation due to a poor maternity system that doesn't offer that support, indeed when I was in hospital, the free samples of products for new Mum's commercialised the experience, the commerical power of FF undermines the breast feeding process as well.

No one is suggesting justifying anything, people are referencing their experiences to be helpful.

Sorry but I don’t understand how your post came across as helpful.

OP has said she doesn’t want to breastfeed, and you are saying ‘well how do you know unless you try’. Not helpful at all and not respecting her wishes or reasoning.

I totally agree with you about crap NHS support, but then women have the choice to not potentially have to really struggle with something in the first place if they are going to get little support.

But the 'choice' to breast feed, doing it/not doing it is also arguably a manifestation of those gender inequalities that already exist in society. If we had socioeconomic and cultural structures that were equal from the outset, some women would make different decisions about BFing, it would truly be their decision. I don't think in my case that I had much choice due to those inadequate situations at play.

My top FF tips:

• Milton cold water steriliser, fill a tub in the morning, chuck everything in it once you’ve washed it then just get bottles/dummies etc out when you need them. No need to dry, just make them up as normal
• nuby rapid cool flask - I had 3! These are amazing. Make the formula in the flask, swirl it (don’t shake!) and it’s cool within minutes. Ideal for taking out and about too. Everyone who’s seen me with mine thinks it’s witchcraft
• get some little storage pots off eBay or similar so you can measure out your formula and it’s ready to go when you need it - no fiddling about with scoops or losing count in the middle of the night

re your c-section, I found it very hard to sit up or get up from a lying down position. Try and make some sleeping arrangements so you can be propped up - it’s easier to sit/stand from that position. The first few nights I slept pretty much upright on the sofa.

I mentioned in my other post about advocating for yourself. This thread is a prime example of how others will try and question/change your decisions.

Good luck OP.

None of which has anything to do with OPs thread.

I have one small tip wrt to recovery from c-section [also good relatively pain-free recovery and return to normal activities but you've already had plenty of those]

When you're thinking about starting to drive again if you're a driver - it's a safe and controlled environment to test yourself out in an empty supermarket car park. Also a good place to practise an emergency stop

I started driving again at 3.5 weeks no problem

The safest way for a baby to sleep is to be breastfed and bed share so, no, it isn’t “incredibly dangerous” to quote the OP. And yes this is based on research.

Keeping things as close to nature intended is always going to be best for both mum and baby, so breastfeeding, bed sharing and napping and sleeping based on babies lead will result in the best outcomes for both in terms of mood and sleep. I’d also like to point out that nothing is habit forming for baby until at least 5 months so theres no such thing as too many contact naps.

OP please read up on 4th trimester

I was responding to the point about a woman's choice. Well arguably perceiving a CS to be 'easier" is to do with this argument, why is it perceived as 'easier'. Everyone I know who had a CS found it much harder post birth.

I would disagree with your statement that breastfeeding is always best.

Do you acknowledge that some mothers don’t have enough milk supply? That some babies don’t latch? That babies can be readmitted to hospital because they are not getting enough milk? That mothers can get bleeding nipples but still be encouraged to continue, and can end up in hospital with mastitis? Not to mention impact on mental health.

@Nunganungas The Lullaby Trust itself says that co-sleeping raises the risk of SIDS. The safest place for a baby to sleep is in their own clear, flat, separate sleep space, such as a cot or Moses basket.

Benefits of breast-feeding are most clearly seen on a global level - in impoverished places without clean water, poor healthcare, costly formula etc - breastfed babies do so much better in terms of morbidity and mortality

In the UK babies who 'do better' tend to be breast-fed wrt diarrhoeal and other illnesses, risk of SIDS etc but it's a statistical measure based on the whole population not individual babies being at risk

Poverty also obviously plays a significant and complex role in the welfare of babies in the UK