To make new mum life easier?

[Animallover87]

Due my first baby next month.

I know it'll be a huge life change and I'm keen to try and protect my mental health as far as possible by taking steps to make life a bit easier.

For example, I'm not going to try and breastfeed. I've bought a prep machine and was considering just using ready made formula for out and about to avoid faff.

Having a planned c section which most people seem to recover fairly quickly from and allows me to feel a bit more in control of what's going to happen.

Next 2 me on my DHs side of the bed so he can do the lifting baby etc during the night if I'm struggling with movement after c section at the beginning.

Any other tips, even if unpopular, to make life easier for myself as a first time mum?

Assuming this is in relation to perfect prep machines, then sadly your midwife is uninformed about the fact that formula powder is not sterile and must be made correctly to kill the bacteria in it, if not, you risk giving your baby food poisoning that can kill. Midwives do not know everything unfortunately so please do not rely on what she has said alone.

Blimey, those NICE guidelines have a right jumble of inclusive terminology.
Some sections refer to women, others to pregnant women or pregnant people.

Do you even know how the PP works? It does the hot water AND THEN STOPS so you have as much time as you want to put the powder in, swirl it for as long as you want or need to make sure it’s fully dispersed in the hot water AND THEN WHEN YOU ARE READY you press the button again for the cold water. It’s not rocket science, honestly. There is nothing inherently unsafe about the machines themselves…only some of the nitwits using them. We have cleaned our machine weekly throughout the entire time we have been using it and never had issues there either.

@Animallover87 for out and about you don’t need the ready made bottles. I never could stand them. They smell even more rank than normal formula (and I FF both children from day one by choice!), are expensive, and are terrible for the environment. I always just do this:

• if the next feed will be in 4 hours (so you’re leaving the house at 11 and the next feed will be at 3ish), make up a bottle with 100% boiling water from the kettle before leaving the house and put it in an insulated bag. By the time baby wants it, it will be ready to drink (perfect temperature).
• similarly, if the next feed will be in 2 hours’ time, make up a bottle with 50% boiling water and 50% cold. Put into insulated bag. Perfect temperature come milk time.
• OR if you prefer just take 2 small/500ml flasks out (1 boiling water, 1 cold) and the Avent formula powder dispenser (the MAM one is rubbish as the shape isn’t as good and the powder doesn’t all come out), as well as 1-3 clean bottles depending on how long you will be out. I never found it a faff tbh. If you are an organised person who thrives on routine you will find it easier. I never wanted to breastfeed and FFing from day one was better for my mental health.

other advice:

• LOADS OF MUSLINS…you will need them especially if your baby is sicky
• two changing stations…we have a changing table in the children’s room for daytime and use the dining table at night.
• get out and about as soon as you feel able…not in terms of organised commitments per se (unless you really want to) but more in terms of getting out for long walks with the buggy. It gives structure to your day, aids your physical and mental health, and is nice for the baby (fresh air, trees to look at etc, helps them sleep)
• don’t be afraid to stay in all day though if that’s what you and your baby require…a little flexibility goes a long way
• reusable wipes are easier for nappy changes as they soak up the mess rather than just smearing it around!! Just chuck them in with your normal wash. We have 3 boxes. Way better for the environment too. Long-term I would say reusable nappies are easier too as the child can feel that they are wet and so toilet train faster (my son did at 2y9m).

didn’t have a c-section so cannot help there (had the easiest deliveries of all imo: first child I was at hospital at 11, delivered vaginally at 3 and was home by 7; second child I delivered vaginally at home, with labour starting at 5am and child born at 7am…didn’t even leave my bed!). Just wanted to wish you good luck with it all. Mindset is very important imo and that is what will help it be ‘easier’ for you, along with your clearly supportive DH!

@Angelil thanks for all the tips 🙂

I would agree that breast feeding is difficult to initiate but once you get past about 6 weeks it’s so much easier to feed then cleaning, sterilising and making up formula. My first was formula fed, and my second is breast. Much less vomiting, reflux, no need to burp them & so easy on the go…especially when they start cluster feeding.

Other tips are, get a cheap baby seat bouncing type thing so you can shower in the mornings. Cheaper the better so that they just play a tune and vibrate to entertain baby bud toy can

@ncga thank you, that was incredibly helpful.

I'm absolutely not a breastfeeding crazy lady, but i do recommend giving it a go for a few weeks.

It's the most gorgeous thing for bonding, they get loads of extra immune benefits, and it saves a fortune on formula.

Also if they have any medical needs it is THE EASIEST way to calm them and make them feel chill. For example If you're having a meal out and they get fussy, you can just pop them on...

Flying on planes it's a lifesaver!

Anyway, it worked well for me, so just a suggestion, could be worth a try

x

Do you have any friends who’ve had kids? I don’t know anyone who’s had a caesarean and said it was easier recovery than a ‘natural’ birth. It’s pretty major surgery and painful recovery. Maybe try an antenatal class - ours had loads of info on types of birth and interventions etc.

I slept as much as possible and popping a baby on a boob while I slept saved me from insanity. There’s enough to do without the faff of bottles. Plus I lost all of my (considerable 😂) pregnancy weight (and more) without trying.

Buy a microwave and batch cook. Don’t have too many visitors too early on (unless they are bringing prepared food 😂).

I found the baby days waaay easier than any other time as a mum so far; you’ll be ok 😊

I had a baby by c section 4 years ago and lifting baby was fine and when you’re on the ward baby will be next to you and you’ll have to lift them yourself. I’d say don’t overdo things, like walking around, cleaning etc and don’t drive. I had to drive my son hospital 5 days after mine and although I was fine, wouldn’t recommend it

If you don't want to breastfeed then it would be good to hand express some colostrum just before your due date, the day of birth and a few days after (or until milk comes in). You can syringe feed it to baby and then they don't miss out on all the important stuff.

"just try breastfeeding for a few weeks".... Days are hard as a first time mum, without telling some ah sure struggle through for a few weeks! OP has said time and time again she has done her research and made her decision.

On a personal level, there is no way I would've gotten through the weeks it takes to establish and get comfortable breastfeeding and thankfully everyone around be respected my decision and didn't just tell me to "ah struggle through it sure you'll be grand"! A family member had a baby the same time as me that breastfed and I was so thankful I didn't put the pressure on myself to do it as I knew from watching her it would've destroyed me mentally. She loved it but has a different mental outlook to me and panicked a bit when she changed to formula feeding. Each to their own but I really depise this "sure just go on and try it" when somebody has their decision made for their baby and their body!

It’s well documented they are not entirely safe. NHS guidelines for one. Google it!

I had to jump on and say that my c-section recovery was so much better than my vaginal birth. Good for you for putting your foot down for what you feel is right for you! Everyone always has so many opinions when it comes to childbirth! Your baby, your body, your choice!!
The perfect prep machine is fab! Love mam bottles, Rockit rocker is a great help too!
I also found that the dock-a-tots helped both my newborns sleep so much better.

I was expecting having a newborn to be so hard the way that everyone made it out, I found pregnancy much harder, the newborn stage was a breeze for the most part even with the lack of sleep.

I'm not saying that'll be everyone's experience but don't be surprised if you find it easier than expected.

I had an ELCS and the recovery was a dream. Out of hospital the next day and was out walking a couple of days later. I can only hope I have the same experience this time around.

My DH did shifts while he was on paternity and I think that's why those early few weeks were so bother because neither of us was hugely sleep deprived. That's the best tip I can offer.

Breastfeeding is so much easier. I did both as struggled with supply with first. Believe me, breastfeeding once established makes life so much easier. There is nothing worse than a crying baby toy having to wait for a bottle to be ready, especially in the middle of the night!

I’ve also had both a section and a vaginal birth and the recovery of a section is so much harder and longer than a vaginal birth.

I safely Co-slept, especially more with the second and again with breastfed it was easier. I also use a sling more with the second as it was easier and we did baby led weaning with the second which was easier than purée which we did with the first.

It’s not about being a dimwit and not cleaning it. It’s about the fact that it is not designed to eradicate all bacteria. It can get rid of some, but not all. If the bacteria is present in the formula or tub (not your machine) cleaning it won’t help a jot. Read here if you’re interested. https://elht.nhs.uk/application/files/4915/5533/6985/Statement_on_formula_preparation_machines_Nov_2016.pdf

Please do not do controlled crying with an 8 week old. What the fuck!?

This thread is sad. Do as much as humanly possible to make life easier on yourself, screw the effect it might have on the baby.

I had a baby 6 weeks ago and basically exact same as you OP - elective C section, bottle feeding, next to me on husbands side etc. i think most things have been covered but if financially viable I would highly recommend a cleaner. I’ve found I can keep the house tidy but not as clean as I’d like. It’s a massive relief having someone in to do it.

I had an ELCS and the recovery was a dream. Out of hospital the next day and was out walking a couple of days later. I can only hope I have the same experience this time around.

But with a straight forward vaginal birth you can be out of hospital within hours (not that I necessarily saying that's a good thing) and walking about a bit sore and tired but otherwise fine.

Make a batch of sandwiches/packed lunches and pop in fridge every few days so you have something easy to grab in a hurry that isn't junk/biscuits.

Instead of insulting @Scirocco , maybe you should get your facts straight @Angelil ! Yes, it delivers a "hotshot", however, laboratory testing has PROVEN that this is not sufficient to kill the bacteria in the formula powder. They have been proven to be unsafe by laboratory testing. So, why don't YOU educate yourself before being so bloody rude to those who actually know what they're talking about 🙄

They could really resolve this argument by calling it the 'not-so-perfect, but for most an acceptable level of risk, prep machine'.

Not that catchy though.

I used one from 3mo, but probably wouldn't with a newborn.

Everything has its pros and cons, i breastfed first but not second. Both were hard but it takes more planning/prep to leave the house with bottles - second has bad reflux so we can’t use the prep machine as it makes him worse (nuby rapid cool has been a godsend).

I’ve bed shared with both, if you do it safely I don’t see the issue…babies sleep a lot better right next to you.

Get a sling/carrier if your baby likes to be held it’s the only way you’ll get anything done.

Ref the C section I’ve heard that recovery is worse?? My friend is dreading her second c section after the first. Both of my v birth recoveries were easy after a few days with my first and a little over a week with the second.

lastly which is a tough one but don’t compare to other babies.. the whole my baby slept through/sat up/walked at 2 days old is a load of bull. Eveeeeryone will give you advice but can speak from having two very different babies that they are all different and what works for one most likely won’t for another!

Use the ready made formula for the night feeds, then you don’t have to spend time going downstairs and prepping the bottle etc. in the middle of the night