To make new mum life easier?

[Animallover87]

Due my first baby next month.

I know it'll be a huge life change and I'm keen to try and protect my mental health as far as possible by taking steps to make life a bit easier.

For example, I'm not going to try and breastfeed. I've bought a prep machine and was considering just using ready made formula for out and about to avoid faff.

Having a planned c section which most people seem to recover fairly quickly from and allows me to feel a bit more in control of what's going to happen.

Next 2 me on my DHs side of the bed so he can do the lifting baby etc during the night if I'm struggling with movement after c section at the beginning.

Any other tips, even if unpopular, to make life easier for myself as a first time mum?

Why shouldn't OP say she's choosing ff for ease? She doesn't have to have the same definition of easy as you do. Yours isn't the default. Perhaps hers is based around not being the person solely responsible for feeding.

Define complications?
Is needing a few stitches a complication?
Using gas and air as pain relief?
Slow progression and thus needing to be augmented?
None of those would impact your recovery.

Absolutely! I can't get over the weirdness of people insisting that BF is easier at all, but that's just me 😅

I just think, clearly a different strokes for different folks one. Do you define easy as not having to do all the feeds yourself, or not having to wash bottles? Both valid views. So nobody should be trying to correct anyone else!

I know, I mean I know I've not done it yet, but being able to give the baby to DH to feed when I'm exhausted seems infinitely easier than being the sole provider of milk 24/7. Especially with the prep machine and ready made formula. But obviously everyone is different and as long as the mum is happy with their choice then great.

And that’s why I chose a planned C section when given a choice between VB with induction (which statistically likely to end with complications or emergency C section). And will choose it again. HOWEVER, this does not negate the fact that C section recovery is long and painful (and I’m talking about time outside the hospital).

Breastfeeding is ready made, nothing to prepare or wash up and gets your body back to normal

@Sigmama but no-one else can do it!

Depends what you mean by back to normal, surely? This is where the different strokes for different folks thing comes in again. As well as the different physical responses, since some women find breastfeeding helps them lose weight and others find it makes them more likely to keep it on longer.

I'm also desperate to get my body back to myself again to be completely honest, baby has been living inside me for 8 months!

These threads are always fascinating. You get to see how many women have uninvolved partners, and how many women just accept tearing, stitches, potential incontinence and prolapses as normal. Childbirth is brutal. Yet still women are judged for wanting to try to control it.

If it goes well and the mother has lots of support in other areas and with sleep.

I’m quite surprised at the general lack of mention of bleeding nipples, mastitis and supply issues on this thread.

Re breast feeding , As long as my partner helped in everything else, nappy changing etc, I was happy to be main feeder but I also co slept so not too arduous

I was the same! As I mentioned earlier: emcs and didn't breastfeed. My weight dropped down to my pre pregnancy weight by the time my baby was 10 days old and my period returned by the time he was 7 weeks old. Normalcy resumed fairly quickly for me and I was very glad of it. On the other hand my friend breast fed and struggled losing any baby weight. There's no rule. Everyone's different and their body reacts differently.

Maybe you should have gone a different route and adopted a school age child? Might be more convenient for you. 🤔
Honestly your control freakery seems to be very advanced. You might want to loosen up a bit when baby arrives as a lot of that will just have to go out the window.

Too late now 🙃

@flannelonthesink dads get it so easy don't they? Their bodies remain intact and they just get handed a lovely baby 😂

You sound batshit.

Wow.

I personally applaud anyone who wants to take more control with how this life changing event might take place. ESPECIALLY with how poor NHS care is and how many women are gaslighted by midwives about far along they are in labour, just as a tip of the iceberg.

I ended up having an emergency c section following 3 days of induction, which is the same story as 6 or 7 other mums that I know - if I were to do it again I would go straight for the planned c section, good choice!
I am all for keeping life as simple as possible, I would say accept any offers of help especially with cooking/ cleaning, and find some nice baby groups nearby for after your partner goes back to work for the change of scenery and company. Also, try to be mentally in the moment, it can feel overwhelming sometimes but there are so many moments of joy as well. If you do get the baby blues, my mum gave me some helpful reassurance which was “feelings aren’t facts” - you may feel like you’re not coping or doing a bad job but that’s not true and the fact is that baby is safe and loved and cared for, and those feelings will pass. Be kind to yourself.
With feeding, I do breastfeed because it’s super convenient and I really like how bonding it is, but my husband does the bedtime feed with formula and my mum uses formula whenever she babysits, so I don’t have to be the only one on feeding duty. My baby adapted really well to the combination although that may not be the case for all babies. For me that has been the best of both worlds in terms of making life as easy as possible but do whatever feels most comfortable for you. We use ready mixed formula too because it’s easy and we don’t use that much of it, but it would be too expensive if we were using it for every feed.
I hope it all goes smoothly for you!

It’s in contact with the powder for as long as you want it to be! I would never just chuck the powder in and then put it straight back under to receive the cold water anyway: too many lumps! I typically swirl after every scoop of powder to make sure it’s fully dispersed. Why would that not be long enough? FWIW I used the PP for the entirety of my eldest’s first year and am now nearly 5m into using it with baby too (same machine, pipes cleaned weekly in case you’re wondering).

I think this might be a joke post. Sounds like a fantasy. You’ve just got to wing it, good to think about things but cant possibly plan for everything. Perfect prep machines are not recommended by the nhs so do your research. Section is major surgery.

maybe read some pregnancy books or do a course or something - it might help.

True. But does it sound to you like the OP has done her research?

If you are not breastfeeding just because you think it’s going to be harder work and not for any other objection, I think I’d hang fire and see what your baby is like and how you take to it. My first baby was a total nightmare breastfeeding and I ended up combi feeding, which was just a faff and I wish I’d swapped to the bottle earlier rather than carrying on because I felt I should. My second baby was an absolute dream breastfeeding and it was way, way easier than all the messing about sterilising bottles, making sure you have enough formula for outings, making up night feeds, etc. Also breastfed babies don’t usually get ill as often, so that makes your life much easier, too. Re c-section - also not necessarily an easier option (I’m guessing probably much harder in lots of cases). More predictable birth, but the recovery can be very hard, especially if you have a high needs baby and can’t get much rest. I had two c-sections and I tried, unsuccessfully, for a VBAC the second time, as recovery from the first one was so long. But, like others have said, you need to do what you feel is best for you and have very low expectations about achieving anything other than baby care in the day! Hope it all goes well for you.

There's quite a lot of well researched, easily available material on the issue that OP could have accessed- the NICE guidelines on the risks and benefits of ELCS as against attempted VB, for example.

https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng192/chapter/Recommendations#benefits-and-risks-of-caesarean-and-vaginal-birth

The use of 'but' makes it sound like you're suggesting OP in fact hasn't? If this was just badly phrased, ok, but if you've assumed she hasn't, what was the basis for that?