To make new mum life easier?

[Animallover87]

Due my first baby next month.

I know it'll be a huge life change and I'm keen to try and protect my mental health as far as possible by taking steps to make life a bit easier.

For example, I'm not going to try and breastfeed. I've bought a prep machine and was considering just using ready made formula for out and about to avoid faff.

Having a planned c section which most people seem to recover fairly quickly from and allows me to feel a bit more in control of what's going to happen.

Next 2 me on my DHs side of the bed so he can do the lifting baby etc during the night if I'm struggling with movement after c section at the beginning.

Any other tips, even if unpopular, to make life easier for myself as a first time mum?

Absolutely your choice on how you feed your baby. But as someone who didn’t want to breastfeed at all but ended up doing it by accident. honestly it is so much easier than bottle fed and definitely less faff. Think middle of the night roll over plug baby in and back to sleep. Baby stays sleepy rather than you having to actually get up and make a bottle whilst baby’s getting more and more awake crying and waking everyone else up. You haven’t got to pack stuff when going out you will forget your changing bag it’s inevitable you can’t forget your boob! There is nowhere for a prep machine on walks or in the car if you get stuck in traffic but you can just whip a boob out. I haven’t bought any specific nursing clothes or bras my normal stuff does the trick. Also some days they are just hungry and others or you may want to stay out longer than planned boobies allow for this!

Breastfeeding is the easy option. Always there, always the right temperature, etc. And a C Section is harder to recover from than a vaginal birth. Go into a post-delivery ward and you’ll spot the ladies who had sections immediately.

The advice I’d give is to get every little house thing done (or done for you), get everything tidy, batch cook meals to stick in the freezer. Book shopping delivery slots so you don’t have to go out.

I’d also - kindly - advise that you just rearrange your priorities a little. There’s a difference between being organised and depersonalising the whole experience. With that line of thinking, you might as well not bother with getting your DH to pass baby to you. He could do everything. Or get a nanny.

So my final advice would be to enjoy your baby. The time will go so fast. The saying “A day lasts a year and a year lasts a day” is very true. Don’t be so keen to organise and detach yourself that you miss out on the wonder.

Just to highlight that epidurals are not guaranteed. It depends on whether someone is free to actually administer it. My friend had it in her plan to have one straight away and there were no staff on the day.

Recovery time after a C-section is a lot longer and more painful than after a natural delivery so I’d prepare yourself for that

Assuming there are no 3rd degree tears or prolapses which are very possible

You sound like me! Two elective c-section babies (second only 12 weeks ago) and bottle fed both of them. My c-section recoveries were straightforward but I recovered a lot quicker with the second than the first and I’d genuinely say it’s because I was up and moving about a lot quicker than with my first (like as soon as the spinal wore off) plus I had a toddler at home to manage as well so I suppose there was less time to enjoy baby cuddles in bed.

Tips - take loads of paracetamol/ibuprofen/chocolate to hospital. Don’t bother going too mad with your hospital bag. If you are on the main ward the goal will be to leave as soon as possible. Get your catheter out as soon as they will let you. The first wee is insanely difficult to do so drink a fair bit of water, wait until baby is asleep and then be prepared to sit on the loo for around an hour with your hand under the running tap and relax as much as possible.

Other stuff, plan nothing for day 3. This is when your milk will come in and (for me personally) I felt shivery and like I had the flu each time. Drink loads of coffee to help with doing a number 2. Get outside every day, the fresh air will do wonders for your mind.

Lastly, just enjoy every moment of it and take so many videos and photos as they will not stay that squishy newborn shape for long.

Things that I found helpful...

I had an elective section too, and found it a great experience. For in hospital and the first couple of days afterwards, try the Frida disposable pants, the huge ones. No faffing around with mess, just straight off and in the bin. Totally not eco-friendly, but made a big difference by making it much easier to manage the post-partum mess.

Nuby RapidCool. I honestly can't say enough good things about this as it's one of the best things we bought! Better than a perfect prep, follows the official guidance for preparing formula, portable, easy to clean...

Breastfeeding made things easier for me but I know that's not the case for everyone.

I used a carrier with structured back support and found that much better than a fabric sling while I was recovering from the section.

Bouncy chairs/recliners are great to enable you to have little luxuries like a shower or a cup of coffee or even just going to the toilet without carrying a baby with you! Just watch and make sure the baby doesn't sleep unsupervised!

We found that splitting the night into shifts worked well. I'm a bit of a night owl, while DH is an early riser. So, I did all wake-ups for the first part of the night and DH did them all for the second part. It meant we could each get 3-4 hours sleep, which helped us survive!

Once you physically can, try to get out the house every day. A short walk can lift your mood and help your physical recovery too.

Ignore the judgey people. Some people will have something critical to say about any and every aspect of parenting. If they don't have anything constructive and supportive to say, ignore them.

Look into Huel. I credit this with keeping us going in the first 6 weeks.

Oh apologies if it’s already been said but when you go home in the car afterwards, bring a cushion to hold against your scar which will help generally when you go over bumps or the car stops etc.

OK, dinner eaten 😋

Thanks to the poster who reminded me about meds for constipation, I'm already suffering from that due to being on iron tablets so I'd like to try and get that sorted before the operation rather than wait til after. Is there anything I can buy that's safe for pregnancy?

Once my DH goes back to work after 3 weeks I'll still be able to get help from ny parents if needed. My mum has booked a few weeks off work just to be on hand so she can pop over easily (lives about an hour away) and my dad is over all the time anyway as he lives in the same village so I won't be completely alone.

I like the suggestion of baby not getting too used to contact naps so even though I want plenty of cuddles I'll bear this in mind. I imagine it totally depends on what kind of baby i get though and there's no way of knowing that until they're here!

Prep machines aren't recommended because first of all they will never ever recommend anything that might make it seem like bottle feeding is more convenient than breastfeeding and secondly because some people don't clean them properly! With regular cleaning they are safe. Been using it for a year and have had no problems

Having a baby is a bit analogous to what you think having a boyfriend is like before you have one.

You might think it's all gazing at sunsets, snuggling in front of romantic films, sharing boxes of chocolates. When you actually get a boyfriend, it might be amazing but it's no longer a fantasy you control, it's a real person with likes and dislikes you need to sync with. And there are probably some things about them you find hard to accept or a bit annoying.

So what works for one person doesn't work for another. You have limited control over how your baby feeds, sleeps, cries etc. It's easy to think of babies as if they were machines but they're as individual as anyone else.

Mine too. I tried bf at first and decided after the pumping, constant need to feed and being the only one to be able to feed, waking up to do this and being so sleep deprived it was not worth it. My MH was more important. Dh is an amazing dad and we shared the feeding load equally and I can't imagine being the sole one doing that.

@WideEyedStirrer

The main thing I needed was sufficient sleep. If you have this, you can cope with everything else. My experience of breastfeeding was that I was up literally all day and all night, and it was horrific.

Are you me? I so agree with this. 100%. As long as you get sleep you can deal with pretty much everything else. I too bottle-fed my second son - he was a big baby & wanted lots of milk. He loved his bottle, & it filled him up & he slept well. He was so content and happy. I have lovely memories of those cuddly, snuggly bottle times

In contrast, I breastfed my first and I think it destroyed me. Again, a big baby and he was just never off me. I barely slept. My MH was absolutely shot. With the second I vowed I’d never put myself through that again. I still believe to this day that the lack of sleep with my first contributed significantly to me having quite severe PND. It’s not used as a torture method for no reason, it can break you. Do whatever it takes to get your sleep - if that also means DH doing a night shift every once in a while with a bottle then so be it

Oh and I bought the mam bottle starter kit as everyone seems to think they're great. DH said he will sterilise them in the microwave each evening so they're ready for me the following day.

Assuming your wound doesn’t get infected after a C-Section
A C-Section is a surgery and yes not all natural births go as planned but C-sections take a lot longer to recover from

Great idea. We used to do exactly this and found it no hassle! 😊

Prep machines that use a 'hot shot' aren't recommended because of the potential safety issues.

Formula isn't sterile. The powder needs to be thoroughly mixed with water at the correct temperature in order to ensure any potentially harmful bacteria are killed off. The 'hot shot' is only a small amount of hot water and is rapidly cooled by the addition of the cooler water - the formula isn't getting sufficiently mixed with sufficiently hot water to ensure any bacteria are killed.

Cleaning is also a potential challenge - people have reported mould growing in these machines when they haven't been cleaned properly. It's easy enough to say "just clean it", but it's harder to actually do that when massively sleep deprived, stressed and sore.

It would be helpful if the NHS provided more support around feeding, for all options. Bottle or breast or both are equally valid feeding methods.

Fybogel sachets. Took them all through pregnancy with dd2 after a horrendous constipation experience with dd1! Your gp can prescribe them in bulk.

Get a cleaner! At least for the first couple of months

That's great.

My top tip if you use formula is to get ready mixed liquid at first especially- it's more expensive but you asked about easy life and that's what I use- no worries about powder and it's always correct, plus it's sterile while is safer for newborns

@Branwells77 a pre planned c section is much less likely to have complications than emergency

Eat as many berries and sweet potatoes and other fiber foods

@Unexpectedlysinglemum yeah I'm going to get ready made for night time and going out an about. I know it's expensive but I think it'll be worth it as so much easier than making up a bottle 🙂

Would you not hire a full time nanny so they can take care of your baby while your DH is in work, or at the very least a mothers aid type person. It would make your life a lot easier and you could continue with your life pretty much as you did pre-baby.

Breastfeeding is hard work but bottle feeding is a faff! (This isn’t a judgey comment, I combi fed).

The pros of breastfeeding include being able to feed without getting up in the night or morning, being able to feed out and about without having to plan ahead taking boiled water, clean bottles, 2 hour limit to ones you’ve made up in advance.

Another big pro is that if your baby gets ill your body will help by producing antibodies in the milk. My baby caught bronchiolitis at 3m but recovered well md I like to think bf helped. Helped me when in hospital as it entitled me to a room and food!

Cons of breastfeeding include feeling stuck on the sofa and teeth!

Pros of bottle feeding include being able to get your other half to do feeds, although you could do this by pumping if you wanted.

Cons include the price of formula and sterilising - total faff.

To answer your actual question…the nuby rapid cool for out and about, sleepsuits with zips. They are so so so much easier than poppers!