To make new mum life easier?

[Animallover87]

Due my first baby next month.

I know it'll be a huge life change and I'm keen to try and protect my mental health as far as possible by taking steps to make life a bit easier.

For example, I'm not going to try and breastfeed. I've bought a prep machine and was considering just using ready made formula for out and about to avoid faff.

Having a planned c section which most people seem to recover fairly quickly from and allows me to feel a bit more in control of what's going to happen.

Next 2 me on my DHs side of the bed so he can do the lifting baby etc during the night if I'm struggling with movement after c section at the beginning.

Any other tips, even if unpopular, to make life easier for myself as a first time mum?

Yeh I get that. It's possibly way it was worded just came across "clueless". I did give tips on how formula is not easy

I had a very similar lazy but efficient approach. I breast fed for two weeks then swapped to formula, the litre cartons of ready-made up SMA Gold. So no faffing with powder etc. Bottles were sterilised via the dishwasher and warmed in the microwave. I increased our cleaner's hours to three times a week and she also did all the ironing.

😂😂😂

@Unexpectedlysinglemum Yes that’s true but doesn’t mean everything always goes to plan or that you can’t still get an infection afterwards and the recovery time even if the C-section goes to plan is still a lot longer than a natural delivery that has gone to plan also.

I’m genuinely surprised how many people saying they recovered from their c section so quickly. I wasn’t in as much pain as I thought I would be but recovery still took a lot longer than after my vb and I got up and about straight away. I found it really hard not being able to lift things off the floor, carry shopping bags etc and definitely overdid it on several occasions. I also had an infection, the wound re-opened when I reached too far for something, and it was a pain to keep dry and clean. I’m 10 weeks pp now and I’m still a lot weaker than I was at this stage after my vb. I know that’s not the case for everyone buts it really not the easy option.

OP it sounds like you have very set expectations on the way things will go for you. There are some great tips on this thread but nothing can ever truly prepare you for the shell shock of becoming a new mum. My one tip would be to expect the unexpected, go easy on yourself, and try to enjoy it. It’s far too soon to be thinking of opting out of contact naps when your baby isn’t even here yet. There is so much more to having a baby than just what makes your life easier.

Don't do a routine apart from bed after 8 weeks or so. Defo do controlled crying from around same time. Go out without baby from early on, get dh used to it.

I’m really confused as to why more people aren’t talking about combi feeding. Soooo much easier. I breastfed but gave him a bottle in the first week. So all day I fed regularly, if I was indoors I caught the extra milk off my other boob, kept it in the fridge and my husband gave it to him late at night. I went to bed early and got plenty of sleep until he woke up after that bottle. Mine was very colicky and didn’t tolerate the formula in the early days, but I also couldn’t be arsed to pump, so this worked best. Also meant I could leave him whenever I wanted, for example went out for drinks with husband after about 3-4 weeks and left him with Mum as I knew he’d take a bottle. Instant formula all the way, cba with powder and heating. But on those days when you can’t even be bothered to sterilise a bottle, breast so much easier. I HATED my c-section, but it was an emergency, I’ve heard that recovery from elective is much better. I totally agree with the poster who said that if you like doing what you want, BF and napping on the move is easier - I would’ve found being tied to the house and napping / bottle routines very depressing, plus confusing to remember all the timings 😂 so if we were both well I used to stay out all day - seeing friends, lunching, going to mum & baby fitness groups etc, with baby just napping anywhere anytime and feeding on demand. Good luck and enjoy! X

Mixed feeding is actually the easiest...roll over in the night, quick bottle in the day! I highly recommend for first few months.

The whole ‘contact naps’ thing is a bit 🤔. First off, there’s nothing more lovely than your baby falling asleep on you milk drunk.

Your baby will need you pretty constantly from day 1 and falling asleep cuddling your baby isn’t something to dismiss. Hearing your heartbeat helps to regulate their’s and their body temp. If you’re not breastfeeding, it’s something to be mindful of that you maybe won’t necessarily have your baby on you as often and therefore letting them fall asleep on you will be giving them that natural response. Bottle doesn’t mean no need to bond.

Lactulose is safe whilst pregnant but check with your midwife/pharmacist if it’s ok for you.

Get fit, walk loads, do heavy lifting. The fitter and stronger you are the quicker you'll get over a section. I was driving and lifting dog into Bath again within 2 weeks.
Second why formula? It's more faff. Breastfeeding is quick, easy, no wait time which really matters with all the screaming going on, settles them at night, really works so much better! It doesn't stop you bottle feeding as well. I could not have coped with it, my kid had to learn to latch on or starve pretty much.

Have a packet of chocolate hobnobs within reach at all times. Go for a little walk everyday.

Having read the entire thread, OP, I'd say you are basically just going to have to muddle through. Someone recommended a sling - I had one, tried to use it once, and abandoned it - I am 5 foot and 6 stone and all my babies were 10lb + so there is no way I could carry them around in a sling, pressing on a C-section scar. I couldn't even see over the top of DC1's head.

I would basically expect the unexpected. I intended and wanted to breastfeed, but it was a nightmare so I was massively glad to bottle feed. I had all kinds of ideas about what I would and wouldn't do - but when it came to it, what I wanted was sleep, and a lot of what I did was geared towards that. Because I did know that I'd be a rubbish mother if I was on my knees with exhaustion.

Also I know you said your DH does all the cooking which is fab - mine does too - but I still batch cooked and filled the freezer before birth so he didn’t have to worry about shopping or cooking and we could just focus on baby in the early weeks. This was brilliant and I’ve recommended it to everyone. Curries, lasagne, chicken & chorizo stew etc xx

I would say get used to all the baby equipment such as car seats, collapsing prams, putting on baby carriers etc beforehand.

Have cupboards stocked - nappies, wipes. And food/cleaning cupboards. If house needs a spring clean, do it beforehand so don’t need to do much cleaning/tidying for a while after

Sort clothing into ages ready. Label drawers etc so other people can find items and put them away

if family can help with washing babies clothes several times a week that helps. Asking family/friends to be around for the first few weeks after partner returns to work to accompany you to appointments/grocery shopping/baby groups to help carry things

As echoed by other mums above, breastfeeding is good to help settle babies even if you try combi feeding.

"I am 5 foot and 6 stone and all my babies were 10lb + so there is no way I could carry them around in a sling"

This is quite an unusual situation though. You are very underweight carrying a large newborn. This is not most people's experiences - most people are able to use a sling; it's a reasonable recommendation for a new mother.

Where are you getting this information from that the Bacteria aren’t killed by the boiling water as a shot of cold water is added?

Of course it's a reasonable recommendation. Just as breastfeeding or bottle feeding are reasonable recommendations. My point wasn't that nobody can use a sling: it was that a lot of the things that work and don't work for any one individual are trial and error. This thread shows very graphically that what works brilliantly for one mother is hopeless for another. The OP will no doubt find out what works for her when it comes to it.

I am not very underweight, btw. I am perfectly in proportion!

When the prep machine was first released, independent people carried out laboratory analysis on it and it was deemed unsafe in terms of food safety. This information is out there online available if you have a search for it. It's not recommended because it isn't safe and it's absolutely not worth babies lives being risked for convenience.

I’m not able to find the research or data on this. I can find lots to say it’s not safe but nothing backing that up 🤷‍♀️

Meal plan.
Batch cooking n freeze
Baby bag by front door and one car
Buy in bulk
Sleep when baby sleeps
Have lots of fruit n nuts snacks around

Well I'm not making it up. The information is out there, I've seen it and read it with my own eyes. I'm not spoon feeding you.

Parenting forums are bloody nuts. Cannot believe that someone has just suggested "controlled crying' for an 8 WEEK old baby.

Yep same. Some of the suggestions are crazy!

Controlled crying at 8 weeks is madness. I have taken all my cues from baby. She has slept through from 6 months in her own room with no issues. Sleep next to me cot prior to that. Breast feed/bottle feed. Breast feeding from day 1 and now at 10 months won't take a bottle. Is tricky but it works for comfort, tantrums, teething and colick. I had a c- section and was up and about at 2 weeks despite an infection putting me back in hospital.
I have pnd and have had before. High risk for psychosis but didn't happen thankfully.
You are putting so much pressure on yourself and that won't help anything. Partner back to work at 1 week post partum with no other support.
Just do what feels natural and right for you. There is no wrong or right when it comes to babies. My advice would be listen to your baby, they will give you cues and let you know what they want. Baby massage courses are incredible- did with my second and not my first. I feel closer and that I understand what they are trying to communicate far better and far younger.

Regarding the Perfect Prep: only if you’re a dimwit who doesn’t clean it properly. I have used my PP for both of my children (same machine for both kids) and never had an issue BECAUSE WE CLEAN IT WEEKLY.