To make new mum life easier?

[Animallover87]

Due my first baby next month.

I know it'll be a huge life change and I'm keen to try and protect my mental health as far as possible by taking steps to make life a bit easier.

For example, I'm not going to try and breastfeed. I've bought a prep machine and was considering just using ready made formula for out and about to avoid faff.

Having a planned c section which most people seem to recover fairly quickly from and allows me to feel a bit more in control of what's going to happen.

Next 2 me on my DHs side of the bed so he can do the lifting baby etc during the night if I'm struggling with movement after c section at the beginning.

Any other tips, even if unpopular, to make life easier for myself as a first time mum?

Get a second prep machine on marketplace for upstairs!

Breast feeing is far easier than getting out of bed in the night to sort bottles out! Just pop a baby on a boob, easy.

What’s nap trapped? I’ve not heard of this before?

Nap trapped means baby has either fallen asleep on you or somewhere where you can’t move them, often in the car.

personally I loved a good contact nap. I’d put my feet up and watch something I wanted on the TV. Got to have a lovely baby cuddle too.

I bet your daughter mostly sees emergency c sections as a midwife. And in any case her personal professional experience is not statistically reliable.

i was explained by an obstetrician that safest/easiest recovery is natural birth WITH NO COMPLICATIONS.
planned C section is next- BEFORE forceps/cup assisted delivery
emergency C section obviously is further down the list (because the body is already tired/injured/bruised from birth and they are performed quickly because something is going wrong).

please stop your scaremongering when you weren’t asked for your opinion on which method of delivery OP should choose.

if women could guarantee natural birth with no complications they’d mostly go for that, but it is absolutely not guaranteed (especially when induced)

Oh thanks. I feel a bit thick now, it’s kind of obvious!
mine were both born in heatwaves bless them so were generally returned to Moses basket or pram sharpish. Rarely slept on me as we’d be melting.
I think that’s why DS is obsessed with fans 😂it’s all he knew in the beginning .

I found the same about breastfeeding. Even though it was difficult to start with it was masses easier overall. No making milk, no heating it, no checking the temperature. It’s always there and always the perfect temperature. No worries about hygiene either.

Actually other top tip is that as soon as that baby is out, think about your bowels! Dried fruit, loads of water, fruit and veg - easy to just go for easy starchy carb stuff when you're tired but postnatal constipation is very common and an absolute bum-ache.

Either cs or vaginal birth can cause it, and it's absolutely what you don't want when you're sitting around with a baby.

A good water bottle (maybe with inbuilt straw) is a good idea.

Forgot about this!! Excellent advice!

Couldn't disagree more.

Night-time bottles weren't a faff - we made up a day's supply and kept them in the fridge so they just needed warming up a bit (probably not recommended now, but it was fine). But in fact, we did little night feeding because the babies weren't waking up every couple of hours due to hunger. We could generally go from midnight to 6AM without them waking up.

The main thing I needed was sufficient sleep. If you have this, you can cope with everything else. My experience of breastfeeding was that I was up literally all day and all night, and it was horrific.

I'm also a fan of having them in their own beds from very early on - in a Moses basket on a stand next to me at first (though one of mine snored so loudly that we had to move her onto the landing), swaddled and settled.

I'm also a great fan of routine (also easier with bottle-feeding). We started bath/bottle/stories/bed more or less from birth.

Ignore the housework, and cuddle, talk and sing to the baby in the day.

This all makes your life a whole lot easier!

Not read the full thread, so sure these might of been said.

A travel mug is a good idea for hot drink. Avoids risk of spills and keeps tea/coffee warmer for longer.

Zip babygrows easy for quick changes.

Pack a bag ready to go when you get a moment, so if you feel like you need to get out the house there's not a mamouth task of packing the baby bag have it ready to go as much as you.

I'd also reccomend taking your own parocetomal to hospital. I remember waiting ages for nurse to come round and say I could have some. Just watch your doses is 24hr period.

I've had an emergency c section and a planned. The emergency was my first as a new mum everyone was keen to help and encouraged me to sit down, take it easy and do as little as possible. My recovery was soo, soo slow. The second my DC was unwell and I was commuting to hospital daily, walking miles and had every little rest. The recovery was painful but much much quicker. I recommend moving about walking as much as possible as soon as possible but without pushing too hard.

A sling!
Don’t plan too much; I over committed to walks, coffees etc. I thought it would be good to get out of the house lots, it was in so far as it kept me awake, but I wish I’d have let myself sit in bed with baby and watch garbage TV!

Good luck - you’ll be great. It’s tiring but amazing.

Start a cooking Rota now
Do not think because you are home you should put dinner on every day. Look after the baby. It will save you years of heartache I promise. Before you know it you habe an 8 and 6 year old and are the mug who cooks every chuffing night

Breast feeding is actually easier, in my opinion, but you need to do as you please.

C section is not easier either, it's major surgery and a long recovery. If you're worried about pain you can have an epidural.

And the cot being next to your husband....not ideal to keep waking him.if he has work the next day, should be okay when on paternity leave but not after that

Parent the child you have. Not the baby you wanted or thought you would have or the baby your friends have but the one you have.

because like us all they are all different.

and comparison is the thief of joy.

Those saying op is gonna make life harder for herself by bottle feeding are SOOOOOO wrong

when you breast feed only you can feed your baby so every single night feed the woman has to do. It also makes going out without your baby really hard e.g for a hair appointment or whatever

not every woman wants to be tied to her baby 24/7

Hi OP -

For me, stretchy wrap-type slings are LIFESAVERS for the early days and weeks. They are really easy to tie and you and DH can share use of them easily - no faffing with shortening straps, etc. Both of my DCs were VERY CALM when they were in contact with a parents' body - and not so much when anyone tried to put them down!

When you're wearing the baby in the stretchy wrap you can bounce up and down on a yoga ball while bingeing Netflix and chomping on some kind of snack bar or slurping a smoothie... That was about 70% of my days and nights IIRC! Not too awful :)

Just to say that combi feeding is another feeding option - you stick a boob in their mouth as much as you want to and when you want to, and when you don't want to or need a break you give them a bottle. Especially the early breastmilk is meant to be v beneficial for their immunity etc so could be worth giving it a go rather than ruling it out completely? You're within your rights to choose whatever, obviously, but combi feeding could meet your needs without closing off any doors, IYSWIM?

Congrats on the imminent arrival! Enjoy the bubble xx

Also, are you kind of person who likes routine or spontaneity?

If you like routine then scheduled naps in it's cot and scheduled feeding (bottle) will keep you sane.

If you like to do what you want when you want it may drive you mad and just going with the flow breast feeding when the baby is hungry and napping when it's tired where you happen to be in sling, car seat, pushchair etc and co sleeping may leave you feeling more in control

Wow, so many responses! I have so many things to answer so I'll probably forget half 🙃

I've done literally YEARS of research before choosing my elective c section (in the UK and literally just had to ask for it - obviously the risks were explained but it's totally up to a woman how she gives birth). My consultant was really supportive and said because I'm fit and healthy going in I'll likely have a smooth recovery and he doesn't anticipate any issues.

HOWEVER I totally get that it's major surgery and there are risks involved, as there are with all types of birth. If I wasn't prepared to accept any risk I wouldn't have chosen to get pregnant.

I'll definitely make an effort to get moving as much as I can as everyone I've spoken to that's had one says this aids recovery. I love sports and the gym and being active so I'm as keen as possible to get moving.

...DH has just shouted to say my dinner is ready, will be back on later!

Prep machines aren’t recommended. The hot shot isn’t in contact with the formula long enough to kill the germs

“That shows she does not have the knowledge regarding the potential life changing injuries that come with c-sections.”

that’s simply not true - the figures show quite the opposite. It’s also the reason most doctors (as opposed to midwives) have c-sections! The Royal College of Midwives have recently apologised for pushing natural birth so much over c-section precisely because of life-changing injuries/deaths.

When my surgeon gave me the form to sign beforehand, the reasons listed for doing a c-section (elective) were “safety of baby and mother”. I think that says it all!

You can go into labour before your c section date, so it doesn’t take the unknown away

Are you having a planned C section due to medical problems?.
Bottle feeding definitely isn't less faff.. only that someone else can feed the baby.. be prepared to be up and down making bottles and sterilising them etc.. easier to just let baby breast feed whenever where ever at the right temperature and no water needed.. just breast milk.
I think you're expecting Motherhood to be a pain rather than the most wonderful experience of your life.. and over thinking things.. it will come naturally.